Would I be a terrible woman if i advise my DD's to act in a way so they are less likely to be assaulted.

[Rubytuesdayy]

With respect to lit streets, chaste clothes, state of drunkenness etc etc? Or would I be victim blaming prior to teh event. I KNOW that rape is the fault of the rapists, but I just want my DD's to be safe.

But that is victim blaming, you didn't avoid all the risks so its your fault you were raped

Imagine if you could walk the streets at night without fear of violence, sexual or otherwise.

Or get pissed and not worry about whether the guy taking you home is going to try and jump you.

Or let the gas man in without checking loads of Id to make sure he is who he says he is.

Or let your kids play outside without worrying if the local peado is going to pounce.

I think we should be fighting for this rather than arguing about risk mitigation. What if the fuckers that do this stuff were too scared to act because of the consequences rather than the potential victims scurrying around in fear for their safety. It's all the wrong way around.

Handbag, from the link that I'm posted:

"In order for women to be both free of the danger of sexual assault and free of the burden of risk management, the threat of sexual assault most be eliminated. This result will only come from irradiating Gender Violence from society. But this worthwhile goal, along with the goal of eliminating all human violence is not on the immediate horizon. In the meantime,
practicing risk management while also demanding societal change is the best method to reduce the chances and consequences of a sexual assault."

If I take a risk and then something happens as a result of it, of course I blame myself, don't you?

Bumbley, you still haven't answered my question

What are you teaching your sons not to become a rapist?

''None of those cases are as I described.''

But it is still sexual assult all the same is it not?

CallinDana your victim made poor choices increasing her risk of a great many negative outcomes. The only reason she was raped was because of the rapist which she had no control over.

BlackOutTheSun we were discussing rape though. Unfortunately, and this is a sad indictment of the society we live in, I think there is very little, or indeed anything an individual can do to avoid sexual assault.

CallinDana your victim made poor choices increasing her risk of a great many negative outcomes. The only reason she was raped was because of the rapist which she had no control over - So why were her choices poor if she had no control over the rape?

BlackOutTheSun we were discussing rape though. Unfortunately, and this is a sad indictment of the society we live in, I think there is very little, or indeed anything an individual can do to avoid sexual assault. So somehow we can avoid being raped but not from sexual assult? Again

So a woman takes a risk but she has no control over the rape. How does the risk relate to the rape in that case? Or is the risk irrelevant?

BlackOutTheSun her choices were poor because being drunk puts you at risk of a whole heap of things; liver disease, falling into road, losing money, falling for scams, crashing a car if you drive...

Sexual assault is far more common than rape and to go back to our previous example of a supermarket (public, busy, well lit, security staff etc etc) yes you are unlikely to get raped in Tescos, but if someone wants to have a quick grope there is not a lot you can do individually to avoid it.

So drinking is a poor choice because of those risks ItsAll. How does drinking relate to rape?

her choices were poor because being drunk puts you at risk of a whole heap of things; liver disease her fault , falling into road her fault , losing money her fault , falling for scams her fault , crashing a car if you drive... her fault

Another person deciding to rape her NOT her fault

If every single woman did not drink or walk home alone tomorrow do posters really think the number of rapes would decrease?

Or would we find another risk that not all women are taking pains to avoid that we'll decide contributed to their rape.

What would those men who are stranger rapists do? Where would they go? Who would they target?

Well they would still find someone to rape. Or do you think they will go home and have a wank ffs

CallinDana once all the correct factors are in place we can do bugger all to prevent the rape.

All we can do is try and prevent some of the factors falling into place. How we do this, and what we think the factors are is a matter for the individual, and has nothing to do with assigning blame.

Nothing a person chooses to do makes someone rape, thus it is never the victims fault.

When I was raped I was sober, covered, wearing trainers and it was daylight ( well dusk). My rapist was however taller and stronger than me. Is it my fault for being petite? My rapist had a thing about petite women.

I thought that both camps had already agreed that nothing an individual can do can reduce the total amount of rapes.

My understanding was that we were arguing about whether an individual can do anything to lower the risk of rape to them specifically?

Scrounginscum

How do I factor in someone else's choice?

Who knows?

They may hang round the 24 hour supermarket and grab you when you go to buy emergency nappies.

They may wait til morning and grab you on your early morning jog.

They may go and rape a prostitute.

They may rape the women on the nightbus going home after her shift.

They may go home and rape their wife.

Or do you think they'll say 'fair's, fair ladies. You're not drunk and out on your own so I'll not rape anyone, thanks.'

Ok Kim what do you suggest I could have done differently? Been taller?