Would I be a terrible woman if i advise my DD's to act in a way so they are less likely to be assaulted.

[Rubytuesdayy]

With respect to lit streets, chaste clothes, state of drunkenness etc etc? Or would I be victim blaming prior to teh event. I KNOW that rape is the fault of the rapists, but I just want my DD's to be safe.

In my view yes.
In your view no.

But because she took a risk doesn't mean she "deserved" to get raped or was "lucky" she didn't.

She took actions which in my view put her more at risk of being raped by a stranger in the street than the girl at home in bed.

Obviously.

But the rape is still soley the rapists responsibility.

And thats your choice, I think its wrong again thats my choice.

Its when some peoples choices lead to victim blaming that is the problem

I think getting very drunk is a risk in general, whether you are male or female, because it makes you more vulnerable. Do I think it means it was her fault she was raped? No. no more than I think the woman cosies up in bed with her husband/partner is at fault if she gets raped.

CailinDanaThu 05-Jul-12 11:43:36
Well clearly you think taking risks is a factor in rape. So if you knew two rape victims and one was out on high heels in a dark area drunk out of her skull and the other was in her bed at home then you would think that the drunk one hadn't really been sensible, that she had taken a risk, wouldn't you?

Where did Cailin say the woman in bed knew her rapist?

Just found this link:

streetharassmentdisruption.blogspot.co.uk/2011/06/victim-blaming-threats-and-risks.html

I think it puts across what I am trying to say way better than I could.

What do you all think?

Again Bumbley, what are you teaching your son not to be a rapist?

I think she means eradicate not irradiate btw :)

That's a good link ItsAll and u think it explains things well. I don't think people are going to agree though.

I* think it explains things well.

So from that link

In terms of sexual assault, risk management involves women taking specific actions and measures to reduce their own risk of being assaulted. But these actions do nothing to reduce the over all threat caused by Gender Violence.

Why are you highlighting that particular point? No one has tried to argue that it decreases the overall threat.

BlackOutTheSun I agree with you!

I don't think anything a woman does reduces the overall risk of rape to women.

What a woman does may reduce the risk to her specifically.

Lets say for arguments sake there is a 1/100 chance of being raped by a stranger on the way home. No amount of soberness or walking in well lit areas can change that 1/100. However it may make it more likely that you individually are one of the 99.

So Itall, the drunk victim took a risk that contributed to her being raped. Do you agree?

''Lets say for arguments sake there is a 1/100 chance of being raped by a stranger on the way home. No amount of soberness or walking in well lit areas can change that 1/100. However it may make it more likely that you individually are one of the 99.''

How?

CallinDana Yes, I agree. If she had stayed at home in bed, she couldn't have been raped by the stranger in the street.

This does not mean it is her fault.
This does not mean she should have stayed in bed.
This does not mean all women should stay in bed.

We all make decisions every day which increase or decrease the risk of various bad things happening. Life is complex and our decisions cannot control how others act.

BlackOutTheSun In the way that a rape is unlikely to take place in the middle of Tescos on a busy saturday morning.

In the way you are unlikely to be raped on the floor of your school classroom in the middle of double french.

In the way you are unlikely to be raped in the middle of the playpark with all the mums dads and toddlers watching.

ItsAll, I don't really get your logic. If a woman takes a risk, and as a result gets raped, then how is the rape not her fault? Surely risk=rape means that the woman's risk taking caused her rape, therefore it is her fault?

What I mean is by your logic a woman who gets drunk and gets raped, would have not have been raped if she wasn't out drunk, so it was her actions that caused her rape, meaning it was her fault. Right?

CallinDana I disagree. Taking a risk does not equal getting raped. That is a gross oversimplification.

Rape requires a vast number of factors, some of these might be:

A rapist
Somewhere private to conduct the rape
A lack of witnesses
A target who is unaware of impending rape
A target who is unlikely to be able to fight back effectively
Etc etc

A million tiny factors coming together in a particular place at a particular time to create a rape.

Any risks a victim might take increase her "involvement" in one or more of the factors that build into a rape, but not directly her risk of being raped.

www.newsandstar.co.uk/news/women_groped_in_tesco_1_657809?referrerPath=news

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-17863095

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2136960/Worrying-scale-playground-abuse-laid-bare-revealed-15-000-pupils-excluded-sex-offences-school.html

CallinDana from the last link I posted:

" The blame for sexual assaults rests completely on the attacker and the culture that gives rise to this type of behavior. The presence of men who sexually assault women in society represent the threat of Gender Violence. On the other hand, the behavior of a woman prior to an assault relates only to risk management. Therefore, the question of victim blaming is really only pertains to risk management.

The goal of risk management is to reduce risk. Therefore, it is possible to be completely blameless for an assault and still be faulted for poor risk management. It is possible to practice excellent risk management and still be assaulted. Risk management only minimizes risk. It does not make the threat go away. "

If the woman took a risk and did actually get raped then you are saying she contributed to being raped, are you not?

So no one is safe anywhere

BlackOutTheSun None of those cases are as I described.