A question for you: is SAHM/D a *job*?

[AllQuietOnThePippisFront]

That's it really.

Now what about the correct response to the question "Do you work?" Does a SAHM "work"? Clearly she does because she has a zillion and one things to do in an average day but the response to this question tends to be that they don't work and are SAHMs. Is being a SAHM "work"? I'd agree that perhaps this depends on how the SAHM views her daily routine. Some SAHMs seem to have every day carefully planned out with lots of different activities whereas others have a much more fluid programme. Is one type of day "work" but not the other? Who knows? Some mothers certainly do seem to approach motherhood with real strategy, the sort of strategy you might find in a professional environment. Frankly, not really sure, I work full-time and know I would be a rubbish SAHM but it's a good question for a thread.

Did anyone read that Daily Mail article yesterday (I hate the DM but husband is a journalist and 'has' to buy it for work...and so I occasionally just 'have' to read it...) about whether some women were too clever to be SAHM. It was a response to the comments made by the Danish prime minister a couple of weeks ago that clever women with a degree should work to avoid wasting taxpayer's money (I am just explaining, not necessarily agreeing!!). The DM wrote this article yesterday with lots of examples of Oxbridge educated women who had given up work to look after their children full-time. The DM clearly approved greatly of their decision. Peter Hitchens, that paragon of liberalism, had written a column descrying the Danish PM's comments, and the DM has obviously taken this up as a cause celebre. By the time I had finished reading the article I felt slightly sick.

Messalina yes I agree with you and to that question one should answer "yes, I work as a SAHM" rather than say "No, I am a sahm" which to me gives way a slight sense of auto-undervalueing (have i made this word up? I often do.), or maybe that is just me.

Messalina what is it for you then?

I think the Danish PM should avoid commenting on other cultures like. I mean, who wants to live in Denmark?

I have known some charming Danes in my time, all of whom were expats fleeing the boredom...

like that

I was thinking about this question again today. Whether or not SAHM is a "job" or not depends on how you approach it. If you think that you have several concurrent projects to manage, with clear objectives and a budget to reconcile, it's going to feel like a job; if you are filling in the gaps around other people's agendas, it might not feel like a job.

Hmm, I think being a SAHM is an occupation, and it is definitely work. However, I would not define it as a job. That is not in any way meant to belittle the value of what SAHMs do. I just think it's different.

I have a job, but I also parent my child and do housework etc. Does that mean that I have two jobs? I don't really see it that way, it's just part of my everyday life.

bonsoir, I do agree that we should parent consciously - raising the next generation is a huge responsibility, and we owe it to our children to get it right. Many skills may be required to do this well, but I still don't think it constitutes a job.

It is a valuable contribution to families and to the economy...but is it a job? No.

Well, Dh and I are sorting life insurance and will need to insure me for at least £30k and even then he will have to pay for a lot of services that I do on top.

So, yes, it is a job. If someone other than me were doing it, it would be paid. Payment does not define 'job'.

I see the things that need to be done in the course of a day as 'tasks,' rather than 'jobs.' SAHM is an unpaid role - a job is a paid role.

I'm an SAHM who also volunteers - when I'm volunteering I'm 'on the rota' or 'in the Bureau,' not 'working.'

And, when people ask what I do, I just smile and say 'I don't work,' and let them make of that what they will. Don't feel the need to justify my existence or get chippy about what I might or might not do, nor bang on about how busy I always am. Makes me cringe when other SAHMs reel off the list of how much they do - protesting too much, imo. Just let them imagine what they like - I don't need to justify anything thanks.

< she said, chippily >

If you perceive your role as a SAHM as completing tasks that need doing in the course of a day, then, no, it won't feel like a job.

I think it's a bit of a red herring to say that it would cost money to outsource what a SAHM does. Yes of course it would, but the motivations for a nanny/housekeeper are surely very different, no? We care for our kids because we love them, not because it's our job.

It's a crude analogy, but being a prostitute is a job. I sleep with my husband because I want to, and because we have a relationship. It is not my job.

That's exactly the reason why I find having someone in my home doing intimate jobs pretty distasteful!

Fair enough - each to their own & all that.

But I stand by my point that some things we do simply aren't jobs. :)

No, I don't think having sex with my DP is a job anymore than I think washing my DD's hair is a job. But those aren't part of what I am able to do as a SAHM that I wouldn't be able to do as a WOHM.

Yes. But that's true of many of the things you have talked about above in relation to your kids - many WOHMs do a lot of that stuff as well (e.g. Having a strategy re their education, extra-curricular activities, work experience etc. Having clear objectives as a parent, managing budgets etc)

But my real point was that domestic activity does not automatically become a job simply because you could outsource that activity to someone else if you paid them to do it. I believe that doing things for your family is inherently different from doing things as part of a job.