Moral Dilema - Do I tell I'm Preggers?

[spikeycat]

Just need a bit of advice really, I went for an interview today for a small P/T job in an estate agents on a sunday. I didn't tell them I was 5 months pregnant (you can't really tell) but if they phone and offer me the job should I tell them then?

I know I'm under no legal obligation to do so but its just tricky...hmmmmmm - any advice?

Is it a permanent job?

They aren't entitled to pay you any SMP anyway, so I don't think it'll matter to them. Why should they know! If you weren't pregnant but only wanted the job for 2 or 3 months would you tell them that? Of course not, coz then they wouldn't give you the job!

Well first of all, congratulations on not looking pregnant at 5 months, I am seriously impressed! I think you should get the offer in writing and then tell them. It would be illegal for them to then withdraw the offer and in any case, morally I don't see that being pregnant should deny you the right to work and earn a living. Others may say differently. Anyway, that's what I'd do. I was in a similar position earlier this year and in the end decided not to take the job but only because it entailed moving house and county and the timing was just a bit out. Good luck!

I would say. Bit mean on them to get you settled in the job and then you leave/go on maternity whatever. I was pg when I came back to england and I temped until dd was born and then looked for a permanent job.

Morally it would be nice to tell them - do you not think they would have noticed? Or is your bump really small?

As you said you are under no obligation - but may cause you problems when they do find out with all the gossiping that goes on.

If my area'a anything to go by there's quite a high turnover in weekend staff at estate agents - they're always advertising, so maybe people take those jobs as a stopgap (not trying to put you off or anything, spikeycat!)

If you do get the job, though, without telling them in advance, will you be able to cope with the reproachful looks when you tell them when the baby's due...?

well, I think they would have to be physic if they could tell, as I still fit in my pre preggers suits etc. (you can see my bump if I'm not wearing a jacket) and I have to say I wore black, as ds1 is only 11 months they may have just thought I hadn't shifted the weight I gained with him??

I would carry on with the job after the next bump is out and about, and only see the need to take 3 weekends off (thats how I felt with ds1, though I know it could be different). Its only working 10 till 4 anyway.

I didn't tell them at the interview as I know I would get offered it, but I think its a bit of a cheat not to tell them if they phone and offer it to me, I wouldn't want to get her in trouble, but my HR head says "wait till its in writing". hmmmm???

Do you have a good answer phone? If so you could switch it on when they phone (you'd have to say that the conversation is being recorded) and then tell them after they've made the offer.

Bit like www's plan, but quicker!

Either way, you're giving them maximum notice of your maternity leave, but giving yourself evidence for a possible tribunal if they then decide not to take you on. Too many employers find ways of discriminating against pregnant / would-be pregnant women!

probably won't get the blasted job anyway

Better get off line in case they are trying to call, think I will use the ansa phone trick - he he he!

Spikeycat - am I right in assuming that you are only planning to take 3 weeks off in total before and after the baby is born??? How the heck will you manage that???

And more to the point, why? Go back to work when the baby is 3 weeks old???!!!

I would - I think not to is unfair on them

Well the way I read it is that Spikeycat will only be working Sundays - so that wouldn't preclude working from when the babe is 3 wks old (as she will be at home with baby 6 out of 7 days). Is that right Spikeycat?

spikeycat good luck
and go for it

I think hmc has read it correctly. spikeycat would only be working 6 hours a week when presumably the baby's father would be available for childcare. If she is breastfeeding that amount of expressing shouldn't be too onerous.

any news yet spikeycat?
I'm very impressed by the whole thing!! no bump at 5 months you lucky blighter and planning on being back at work so soon afterwards too. right now i'm knackered and can't wait to start maternity leave already - the idea of going back so soon makes me cry! So well done you!
I wouldn't tell by the way - it doesn't sound like it would make much difference to them if it's only a few hours a week

message withdrawn

well all, heres the latest... (by the way, it was only working 6 hours a week when dp could handle the childcare!).

Well, they phoned and offered me the job, I accepted (verbal contract) and then informed them I was pg, told them that it didn't make any difference to me, that I would work to the end as I did with ds and return about 3 weeks after using my anual leave as maternity leave for those 3 sundays. Assured her of me commitment etc and she was fine about it. She arranged for me to go back in to meet the md on monday.

Today I have got a letter saying (basically) " we offered you the job, you told us your pregnant and so we withdraw our offer". Been about a year since I worked in HR and my brains gone but I'm sure this illegal, so I'm off to the ACAS website and will be taking them to tribunal if I can - the bastards.

Its really upset me, there I was thinking I would have some cash of my own again and some independance away from ds and dp (also show dp what its like on your own with them with no car!) and its been whipped away from me.

Oh no! How awful. Please do threaten them with tribunal, this is illegal and wrong, wrong, wrong. Let us know won't you?

But I sincerely hope they've stitched themselves up with that letter - it sounds like it.

Thats what I thought, what idiots!! Imagine doing what they have done in the first place, then being thick enough to put it in writing!

I feel really down about it, its knocked the stuffing out of me, esp. since I've now told everyone and I look stupid...

what they have done is illegal. they have stitched themselves up, the idiots. this sort of thing makes my blood boil. good luck with whatever you decide to do, spikeycat.

Sorry you are going through this. You won't be the one looking stupid if you explain.

Sounds like they have put their heads through the noose already. I would suggest just reminding them of the law (I think it is sexual discrimination but may be wrong) and your rights may well be enough to prompt them especially if they are a relatively small concern, but are you going to be happy working for such people even just 6 hrs per week ? I would be tempted to turn up for the meeting on Monday regardless, fully armed with info.

Oh good luck with this, what tw*ts. Trouble is, you really wouldn't want to work there now anyway would you? Please let us know how you get on.

How nice of them to put it all in writing for you.

Definately think you should at least threaten tribunal, though I'm not sure I could really be doing with actually going to a tribunal while pregnant. On second thoughts, no: their behaviour is outrageous.

Actually it occurs to me that they don't know very much about the law with regards to maternity issues, or they wouldn't have written the letter. Perhaps they think they will have to pay full maternity pay or something? No excuse, but might be worth havng a nice chat with them after looking up the law. Have a look at the dti website for more info.

Oh Spikey, that's really rotten of them.
I hope you don't get too stressed about them, they are just not worth it and would probably have been just as horrible to work for.
Something better WILL come along, and no-one thinks you're stupid.
If both men and women got pregnant this would not even be an issue. To my mind it is the same old story of blatant sex discrimination.
If you fight them then good luck, but I would'nt feel guilty for just putting it behind you. There is a lot of stress involved in proving a point.