Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

I am so mad, I can barely type!

95 replies

rickman · 26/01/2006 10:22

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
puff · 26/01/2006 10:24

OMG

nutcracker · 26/01/2006 10:24

OMG rickman, what an arsehole he is. I am stunned that they can do this too you.

Kelly1978 · 26/01/2006 10:25

If it is only £5 a week, tht is the standard amount for unemployed - has he lsot his job? If not, I would appeal.

MistressMiggins · 26/01/2006 10:25

OMG Rickman

I cant believe they can do this either

what does your exp say?

Nbg · 26/01/2006 10:26

Thats utterly distgusting.

tribpot · 26/01/2006 10:26

Is exp claiming to be out of work or something? I would get straight on to the CSA and find out whether this is a mistake or a calculation they've made based on (bogus?) info from your exp.

What a nightmare.

Original poster
rickman · 26/01/2006 10:28

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Original poster
rickman · 26/01/2006 10:29

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
puff · 26/01/2006 10:30

What a tosser. Is this all to spite you rickman? He obviously has little regard for his children .

Marina · 26/01/2006 10:30

rickman, no advice, but what a git
I'm so sorry

MistressMiggins · 26/01/2006 10:31

get your kids to take photos of his new conservatory & cars and send it to the CSA

lilibet · 26/01/2006 10:32

Are there other benefits you can claim to supplement your income?

I know what you mean about the arrears, ex will have finished paying the arrears that he owes me when dd is 22!!

Go and punch a cushion!

Caligula · 26/01/2006 10:33

Another loving father, then.

When your kids grow up, Rickman, they'll understand what it means that he had 2 cars, a conservatory and a new kitchen but was only paying a fiver a week for their maintenance.

Ain't love cheap if you're a self-employed non-resident father.

anorak · 26/01/2006 10:33

It's astonishing how many men do this.

No wonder you went to so much trouble to free yourself from him Rickman. How the hell do people like this sleep at night.

I've had exactly the same, never had a penny from him. But it was much easier for me, with 2 kids, to work my way out of it than it would be for you with your four.

I hope the new powers the CSA are getting will help you with this.

cyan · 26/01/2006 10:34

PIG.

rickman get onto the CSA asap. hope it gets sorted. x

Original poster
rickman · 26/01/2006 10:37

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
cyan · 26/01/2006 10:38

my oldest friend's dad was a heartless, greedy git too. when he broke up with my pal's mum he never paid her a penny for maintenance for his 2dd's. it caught up with him in the end. he was a painter and decorater and had dodged the taxman for years. well one day they checked up on him and he was fined a large sum of ££££££!!!! although he never payed child support at least he got caught out in the end, cheeky git.

cyan · 26/01/2006 10:40

rickman how old are your kids?

acnebride · 26/01/2006 10:42

I would try not to let this stop him seeing the kids, but it's easy for me to say. What an inhuman thing to do to you all.

Original poster
rickman · 26/01/2006 10:43

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 26/01/2006 10:46

Well, the kids are too young to understand at the moment and ou risk them resenting you for halting access. It would be years before they understood and "forgave" you for it. However, they would, as adults, realise what a total tosser he is.

When he does see them, make sure they go in their most scruffy, shabby clothes and hope that it makes him feel guilty......?

QE2 · 26/01/2006 10:47

rickman, I sympathise, I really do. My ex-dh purposely gave up his job so he didn't have to pay me any money. And for some reason the CSA stopped pursuing him. Although it couldn't be proved, he was working cash-in-hand for a couple of mates. When I snitched on him, he told them he wasn't taking any money for the work; that he was doing it for free to help lift his depression and give him a sense of purpose! wtf?!

If your ex is paying less, wouldn't that mean you would be given more from child tax credits or income support instead?

As tempting as it is to prevent him from seeign the kids (I was fuming so much I was sorely tempted too) you must be clever when dealing with him. Easier said than done, but don't let him see you mad or upset. Don't get mad, get even. It may take a while but he will get his come-uppance.

Bugsy2 · 26/01/2006 10:53

Oh Rickman, my heart sinks when I read this stuff. What a bloody nightmare. If he is self-employed do you think he is diddling his accounts? Might be worth a call to the Inland Revenue to suggest you think he is not declaring all his income.
Thank God my ex-H is employed through a big company so can't get away with this - because he would if he bloody could too.
Big sympathy to you. Wish there was something more I could do.

cyan · 26/01/2006 10:54

at the moment i wouldn't stop him from seeing the kids, he will probably just use this against you in some way. it just angers me because they can be so vindicative. I've not long finished uni and have an 11 month old ds. As I was in receipt of a student loan until my ds was 3 months, i couldn't apply for income support. When I then had to apply for is, my ds' dad was told to start paying maintenance money which he moaned about. He hadn't given me hardly anything towards his son until the CSA got on his case, ds was 8 months before all this happened. It gets my abck up that you have to go through so much stress, agro, tears and paperwork, and perhaps in your case court before they stick their hands in their pockets.

eefs · 26/01/2006 10:55

Do you have enough to survive?