Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Other subjects

DO NOT click on this thread

42 replies

NubblesStryverFlintwinch · 06/02/2012 22:07

My mum has parkinsons. (and had breast cancer 14 years ago), and now it looks like she has bone cancer. They think it is secondary cancer from the breast cancer, and the medicos have been very positive about outcomes/treatments so far. She is now in the stages of finding where the bone cancer is. But it will still be chemo, radio, travelling and stress for her.

My uncle has parkinsons, and moved into the same village as my mum and dad a couple of years ago. He has not been coping for some time and does not let people into his house because of the state it is in. Last week he started halucinating about people coming through the walls, and has ended up staying with my mum and dad. They are waiting for him to be admitted for assessment, but this has just added to my mum's stress and workload.

My dad had/has prostate cancer, and since his treatment has just turned into more of a spoiled toddler than he was already. He expects pretty much everything to be done for him and shouts and sulks if anyone disagrees with him on any point.

My eldest son is also living there. He is 23. He had a load of work over christmwas and new year, and I know he tried to be helpful, but I have had to call him tonight and ask him to stop asking for money, to try to find work, and to offer help rather than being asked.

I am 3 hours away.

I have a full time job, which is fairly pressured, and work are relying on me in the coming weeks/months.

DH is forces and is starting a new posting with loads of training (away from home) coming up.

DH also has a real problem with his shoulder and has finally admitted that he needs surgery, which will medically downgrade him and may make him more likely for redundancy.

Oh, and FIL is going in for major vascular surgery on the 24th of this month.

All of this (apart from my father being a toddler) has come out in the last couple of weeks.

I have a nasty cold.

I told you not to click on this thread.

OP posts:
NubblesStryverFlintwinch · 18/02/2012 00:06

Dickens Name Change

Nubbles - kit in old curiosity shop
Stryver - in tale of two cities
Flintwinch - little dorrit

OP posts:
CakeMixture · 18/02/2012 00:10

Have you read all three Nubbles

If so you have many trials in your life but you have read more Dickens than me and of that I am Envy - cos I like to think I am well read but in truth I dont think I am Blush

NubblesStryverFlintwinch · 18/02/2012 00:15

Downloaded many for free onto my Kindle. I read them in between other books, or when the train is stationary and I know it is going to be a 3 hour journey to work because of signal failures.

But I have not read all of te above. Google was my friend :)

OP posts:
NubblesStryverFlintwinch · 18/02/2012 00:16

Thank you Cake and Flying btw.

Sorry that you have direct experience Flying Sad

'tis shit

OP posts:
FlyingLugholes · 18/02/2012 00:21

Thanks norm. And doing my best to pretend it doesn't exist atm (too soon to deal with it). Sticking fingers in ears and shrieking 'lalalala' works pretty well.

Works almost as well as the wine Grin

I am working towards a kindle. I'm sure the amount I spend on books each year would more than pay for one.

NubblesStryverFlintwinch · 18/02/2012 00:40

Wine and lalala is good.

I am treading a tightrope though in being diplomatic and political.

My DM wants uncle out. He is driving her mad. But is trying to pretend that he doesn't need help.

OP posts:
FlyingLugholes · 18/02/2012 00:46

I really don't know how you are managing to hold it all together considering everything that is going on.

Your dm shouldn't be having to cope with your uncle on top of everything else. Life is so unfair.

Are the delusions part of his parkinsons? My mum said that she could cope with my dad being ill but the delusions were really unbearable.

NubblesStryverFlintwinch · 18/02/2012 00:56

The delusions were part of the drugs for parkinsons we think. He has had them re-adjusted and is now fine. It looks clear that they have been going on for longer than we were aware of. He has been convinced that drains/sewers have been leaking up through the floorboards of his house (and tis one of his excuses for not letting anone in). We managed to clear enough floor to show that that is not the case..

My DM should not be dealing with this, which is why we are here to sort it out. They keep saying we don't have to do this (decontaminate the house), but it is the only way it will be sorted. The younger, more able bodied, relatives will sort the house so that the rest can get back to living their lives. How the hell else will it get sorted. And if it reduces my DMs stress levels then it is worth every minute.

OP posts:
FlyingLugholes · 18/02/2012 01:09

Really hope it can all get sorted. Your dm must be so grateful that you are there for her.

Dad used to see tiny people with machine guns coming out the walls, and stoats running through the house... He was convinced that the army were doing military exercises in the hospital wards and dh and dd2 were sitting on the roof of his neighbour's house!

The last thing he said to me was to accuse me of being after his will! You can't reason with them when thay are in that state which is really difficult. The things he came out could be quite funny but it was difficult once it was constant.

FlyingLugholes · 18/02/2012 01:10

It's good you have somewhere to speak about it too. It helps.

NubblesStryverFlintwinch · 18/02/2012 20:01

It really does help.

That is why I started this thread :)

I can just put it all down here and it helps, even if I was just talking to myself (which it turns out I am not).

Spent nearly all day at Uncles house today with DH. I have managed to clear most of the worktops and bleach stuff, and it is almost sanitary. He did the really, erm, grim, bathroom, and the other rooms, while I spent ALL DAY in the kitchen. There is nowhere to put stuff away.

There is more to do tomorrow. Then home again.

OP posts:
SmileItsSunny · 18/02/2012 20:17
Levantine · 18/02/2012 20:24

So sorry. Sounds bloody awful.

ByTheSea · 18/02/2012 20:26

I know it's not the MN way, but I really want to hug you. What a load of bollocks you are having to deal with. :(

NubblesStryverFlintwinch · 18/02/2012 21:24

Thank you all Smile

All is good. My DF bought another box of wine. I am watching casualty. DH has gone off to play a computer game with DS1. DS2 and DD are in bed.

I have to say that DS1 has had us in absolute hysterical laughter tonight - over and over again. I recomend laughing. It brightens up your soul (as an athiest I say this)

Thank you all for not clicking on my thread

OP posts:
openerofjars · 19/02/2012 18:57

Hooray for wine! Glad your uncle's house is now less fetid: what a bloody grim job and what a fab person you are for doing it. And kudos to your DH for doing the bathroom.

How's your mum?

NubblesStryverFlintwinch · 23/02/2012 19:40

Mum is OK. Now.

I ended up calling on Monday (once we were back home) and finding out that Uncle STILL had not moved out, because his trip to Sainsburys had been sooo tiring (the reason he hadn't moved out on the Sunday was because he needed to stock up before he did)

So I rang up and evicted him over the phone. Told him that he had to move back in NOW, that smoking in DMs house was unacceptable, and generally upset him a bit. It worked though, and that is all that matters. He is back in his own house, the cleaner has visited and will take him on (just one hour a week at the mo).

DM has arranged for the Parkinsons nurse to visit next week too.

DH has managed to get a few days off work and has gone up to chilly jocko land to be with his parents. His DDad went in to hospital today for major surgery tomorrow, so he is there to support his DM.

It is important that he does this, but leaves me struggling with commuting and children (and a major, high profile, presentation to give on Monday)

It never rains but it pours.

Smile
OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page