I'm not going to flounce ....

[carla]

Message deleted

It's the strongest word used by the upper classes don't you know!

(in my bestest scouse accent), calm down, calm down

this all seems to have got uneccesserily out of hand.

Might have to use it more often then, being so upper class myself... [ironic emoticon]

Rhubarb - You're not helping here! So the MNer (who from what I can gather isn't exactly working class!)... called me thee 'strongest word used by the upper classes'!!

So in a lower 'class' level its the equivalent to calling me a "c*nt"?????

I remember someone who felt they were hard-done by because their DH bought them a £3,000 diamond bracelet for their birthday BUT they had it made in platinum when it should have been obvious that this person wanted it in gold ..after all even her wedding ring was gold

ROFL

Carla, I didn't know what to post, so didn't. However, even though you wanted to have a moan, you must have realised that you probably wouldn't have got alot of sympathy, when you have such a high disposable income for "stuff".
Your domestic situation sounds far from ideal and I'm with Custardo on this & think you should be squirrelling away as much as you can at the moment, until you and your DH are on a better footing.
Sorry you feel hard done by on here. Perhaps you should have worded your original moan slightly differently it would have been easier for us to have seen what the issues are.

Twig, that sort of thing happens to me All The Time. It's a bind, I can tell you.

best thing was HM .. he had to have it re-made in gold for her

then she divorced him

arf arf

Just been reading up on a few of the posts, what can I say? It is now obvious to everyone that Carla has a relationship problem and that her original thread just didn't make it clear enough so she was jumped on repeatedly. However, it is now clear she needs a little support but still some of my fellow MNers seem to be going back to the financial aspect. Give her a break ladies! FGS! Yes she's prob. got stacks more cash than most of us, but that doesn't mean she deserves this crap does it?

For once I feel a little ashamed to be a MNer and I sincerely hope a few other of you do too (sadly I doubt it).

I'm pretty good at spotting trolls and attention seekers, if I say so myself ahem - polishes JF halo amongst others...

would suggest that if she isn't one she is the other and clearly has issues that NONE of us are going to address.

that's all.

I agree with PPH. I really don't think MN can help Carla, because she's not really posting in a way that can elicit real help. She seems to be wanting to feed a "poor me" martyr idea of herself she's got, where she can feel hard done by first by her DH, then by virtual internet strangers.

It's strangely reminiscent of Big Brother, where Jodie Marsh laments her portrayal as a stupid bimbo in the British media, and then proceeds to show the real her by behaving as if she is ... a stupid bimbo. So instead of disabusing the British public of an image, she re-inforces it.

IMO Carla's doing the same sort of thing with these threads. She's posting for sympathy, but in such an odd, confusing (I think deliberately) and/ or aggressive manner that inevitably she's not going to get sympathy, she's going to get a fight, she'll get upset and she'll get a 500 post thread of people knocking their heads against the wall trying to genuinely sort out what on earth her problem is and telling each other to stop being nasty to her. This thread is a really odd way of going about trying to sort out a leftover mess from another thread and it's obviously not going to help her - but it is going to give her a lot of negative attention. Sorry Carla.

Rich or poor, I think most of us can appreciate relationship problems to a greater or lesser degree.

Though I don't contribute that much, I've read these boards for over a year, and generally, most relationship problems are responded to in a thoughtful manner. The poster may not always be agreed with, but "strangers" still take the time and make the effort to try and help, even if that is putting across a different point of view.

On some posts, I've been amazed and touched when other Mnetters offer real-life practical support to people in trouble. So, all in all, I think the people who frequent these boards are a pretty good bunch.

However, I am sorry if this sounds blunt - but there is a world of difference between seeking sympathy for your mean/miserly/non-understanding other half (mentioning no figures) - for which I am sure Carla would have got nothing but supportive replies - and alternatively, stating your DH is mean, stating a figure which is generous by most people's standards and then confusing the issue (when people naturally start to ask questions which might be seen as probing, because they don't actually understand what the gripe is, in the way it's been presented) by providing conflicting info.

Yes - money doesn't protect you from everything, but at the risk of being shot, I'd rather be in a bad relationship with money (and the sort of money where I could afford to put some by for eventualties), than a bad relationship without money. There are many people here who have bad relationships and no money, and physically, can't see a way out, or of starting over.

No, we shouldn't dish out our sympathy based on how much someone has in the bank, but when they introduce the topic, they need to understand that people will bear that in mind when forming their replies.

Catsmother, I do wish you would post more.

yes catsmother I agree you post beautifully for a lurker /occasional poster

though I do read your name as cat smother

oooer - should I be scared?

I'll say one thing, you won't get any false platitudes on mumsnet!! People say what they think!!

I haven't read anything as particularly bitchy, just some honest plain speaking, which adds greater value to the real support that is often given.

No point asking for opinions if not willing to shed any more light on the issue. catsmother has hit the nail on the head.

Read this thread and skim read the other. The financialfacts are confusing - this is not slating you Carla, just stating what I see. Perhaps you went into too much detail to begin with, then immediately regretted it?

I am pretty sure that whatever you spend your money on, you do not consider it/them as fripperies - it's stuff you have a need for in some way. And your dh knows this, and is denying you the means to satisfy that need. And that, without any warning or support, is very cruel and controlling of him.

I may be wrong as I have not read everything, but you seem to have continually hedged away from saying what you need this money for. I think that could be the crux of the problem.

FWIW I don't believe you are insensitive to the fact that £1200 a month for many people here is a lot of money - you've been on mumsnet too long not to realise that.