Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Other subjects

I'm not going to flounce ....

118 replies

carla · 10/01/2006 09:02

Message deleted

OP posts:
carla · 10/01/2006 13:03

Message deleted

OP posts:
carla · 10/01/2006 13:05

Message deleted

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 10/01/2006 13:06

Charming.

carla · 10/01/2006 13:07

Message deleted

OP posts:
Gizmo · 10/01/2006 13:08

The thing is, Carla, you originally asked if we thought his actions were reasonable.

It is just impossible to answer that question without more detail about your financial situation. As it turns out, the few details you gave made it sound like he could well have a point.

However, there were a lot of people who were prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt. They thought, perhaps, that your original details had been misunderstood, or there was further information (yes, including your BC statement) that would explain why you were being hard done by.

Now, forgive me, but you were generally totally incoherent in your efforts to explain exactly what the financial arrangements between you and your husband were. You also consistently ignored posters who had tried to explain your situation and were asking for your verification that their explanation was correct. This, I imagine, must have been extremely frustrating for those who were trying to understand/defend you and made it impossible for anyone to suggest anything to help you.

It is also, by the way, a common trolling technique. People of course then spent ages speculating about you in order to try and satisfy their urge to make a helpful suggestion.

So if you're still wondering why you got hostility it is because you totally failed to give people the information they needed to see why it was you had grounds for complaint. You wasted their time, in other words.

Not much sympathy here, I'm afraid.

NotQuiteCockney · 10/01/2006 13:08

Um, carla? Nobody here is being rude, other than you.

hunkermunker · 10/01/2006 13:08

Don't recall telling you to fuck off though, poppet.

ladymuck · 10/01/2006 13:09

Carla, I don't know whether it helps or not, but you have to bear in mind that there are many people on here who do not manage to remember your circumstances from thread to thread. We're not on here 24/7, and may in fact miss out on entire episodes of your life (for example I can't remember how many kids you have etc, and if you're honest you probably wouldn't remember how many I or all the other posters have). We may also only read a fraction of the messages that you (or anybody else) post. So whilst it is now obvious that you really wanted us to have sympathy with you because your dh is being a controling bully, that is not how your first message came across.

I htink people have been tryign to understand your problem, but it is one of these communications problems: - the issue you wanted to discuss was your h being a bully, but it came across as one about money.

I'm not sure what reaction you're hoping to get from starting this thread tbh? If you have probelms with a coupel of indivudal posts, then to be frank you shoudl rise above it. If you feel that MN is a "load of old fish wives", then I really don't know why you would continue to post.

As with everyone else I do hope that the Relate counselling proves useful to you.

NomDePlume · 10/01/2006 13:09

fgs

Rhubarb · 10/01/2006 13:11

Carla, I've just read the money thread. I think the problems come from the fact that you definitely thought you were being hard done by and thought MN would back you up.

I think what you have to realise is that if you came from a family where 1200 a month is their sole and only income from which all the bills have to be paid, then left overs go towards clothes and treats, reading your posts just seems like someone is rubbing it in.

Now I think it's pretty clear that you didn't mean to rub anything in, you honestly thought that the amount your dh is capping you at was unreasonable and you thought that everyone else would see this too. At worst I guess that's just a bit naive. You should realise that some people here on MN do struggle every day to make ends meet and reading about how you get to spend such a large amount just raises peoples hackles.

I don't get involved in money debates, it's far too personal. Plus I know that I do feel angry and resentful when I read about people who can afford nice clothes for themselves and their children, who eat out and who don't have to watch what they spend, I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do, which is why I avoid these topics.

Why not just take a couple of days off MN, assess your situation with your dh, make some time to talk to him, then come back on MN and I'll bet you that this whole discussion will have been long forgotten.

ladymuck · 10/01/2006 13:11

[Sigh].

I can spell but I can't type. Hope that the previous message is clear enough.

Toothache · 10/01/2006 13:15

link please? I missed this one..

carla · 10/01/2006 13:16

Message deleted

OP posts:
Toothache · 10/01/2006 13:18

Come on Carla... you're dying to tell us what you earn! You're the only one mentioning you're income TBH!!!!!

LINK?

NomDePlume · 10/01/2006 13:19

I don't understand what you hoped to gain from this thread really, carla. If the original was so distressing/frustrating for you, writing this one which is about the other one is just going to compound your anger. You said your piece, let it go.

Rhubarb · 10/01/2006 13:19

Carla, please calm down a little. Of course people are reacting badly to you, because you are reacting badly to them! Try to see where they are coming from, you posted that you spend 1200 on clothes and treats and that this was not enough! Of course people are going to be annoyed by this! You have to be understanding of other peoples circumstances!

It's not just about how much you earn, I guess it's the naivety of thinking that this amount was scandalously small and expecting Mumsnetters to agree with you.

The best way to make everyone go away, is not to post, then they can't respond to anything you say can they? And you are saying things in the heat of the moment, as is everyone else on here. So just take 5 mins out.

welshboris · 10/01/2006 13:20

Who bolloxed you? Who asked you for details of your spending?

youre dying for an argument, mentioning the all mothers are bitches thread AGAIN.

Take the advice of some of the nicer posters, go and calm down love

carla · 10/01/2006 13:23

Message deleted

OP posts:
Toothache · 10/01/2006 13:23

And you are coming across like a spoiled little rich-kid whose over inflated allowance has been cut to £1200 per month. LOL!

You may say you know you are lucky financially.... but you're certainly not coming across as someone who is grateful for their Lot in life.

melrose · 10/01/2006 13:24

Carla I have resisted posting on your 2 threads up until now, but to be honest I do not think I have ever witnessed anyone being as rude as you have been in the last few posts! As many people have pointed out your original posts were confusing and people were trying to get more info so they vcould help you. All you have one since is be very rude. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and it seems a lot feel that you were being unreasonable in thinking the limit on your spending was low, but there is no need to start shouting abuse.

Alaos if you think we are all bitches and don't like us very much then don't try to kick off an arguement

Rhubarb · 10/01/2006 13:26

Give her a bit of space will you? The bitching has been done. I don't think she meant to rub it in, she's reacting now in the heat of the moment, and we should just back off a little and not try grinding her into the dirt anymore.

oliveoil · 10/01/2006 13:26

link to previous thread please so I know what you are all wittering on about

ta

NomDePlume · 10/01/2006 13:28

toothy has put it in active convos, olive. 'H has capped....'

mummytosteven · 10/01/2006 13:29

I do think Carla has been made into a bit of a whipping boy (or should that be girl) for the vast financial disparities between many MNetters.

Carla - agree with Rhubarb about stepping away from the computer and calming down. You feel attacked - go on the counter-attack - people attack by - it's a negative cycle.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 10/01/2006 13:29

Not a good idea OO....it is just calming down..

Anyway haven't you got research to do on Italy ??

Have you told your DH yet ??

Swipe left for the next trending thread