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Original poster

Do you ever feel like giving up?

31 replies

deaddennis · 09/01/2006 19:34

Just saying b*llocks to everything and not bothering anymore? I am so close to this at the moment, the relentlessness of it all is really getting me down.

OP posts:
codnotamod · 09/01/2006 19:35

oh dont you ahev been hightly entertaining and wed miss you

Heathcliffscathy · 09/01/2006 19:36

parenthood is relentless and it periodically does get you very down ime. so yes i have felt like giving up and saying bollocks to it all. i've also felt like i'm screaming internally whilst carrying on as normal on the outside.....but things change so often and so fast with ds that these feelings don't get a chance to really stick.....

Heathcliffscathy · 09/01/2006 19:37

sorry am i mising something...do you mean giving up mn? and i thought this was a new poster...

codnotamod · 09/01/2006 19:39

no ti htink you are right

Mum2OneAndBump · 09/01/2006 19:39

Yes like today having a bad day & feel like digging a big hole & getting in it!

Just wanna be alone.........

jac34 · 09/01/2006 19:42

I've felt like running away a few times.
When the boys were small I used to dream of staying in a hotel for a night,just sleeping and having peace.
My problem was routine,I absolutely HATE it, but having twins,routine was the only thing that got me through,.....I rebelled against it as soon as they were old enough though.

expatinscotland · 09/01/2006 19:43

yep. all the time. don't be so hard on yourself. totally normal, imo. but then again, i'm a total freak .

at least, if it's abnormal, you've got plenty of company.

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 09/01/2006 19:43

deaddennis is a regular who changed her name a lil while ago

I often feel like ive had enough and wonder what the point is (im assuming the kids are driving you mad?) Cant think of a solution to it tbh and would love to hear anyone elses?

Rhubarb · 09/01/2006 19:45

I felt like this all over Christmas, staying with the in-laws, feeling obliged to help out with housework, cooking Christmas dinner, clearing away pots, putting out the buffet, etc. I couldn't enjoy watching my children opening their presents as dh's brother was spending his first Christmas without his children and he was staying with his parents so I was made to feel very guilty just for having a family! Dh reverted back to being a 'son', so he got pissed, went out with his mates, etc whilst I had to entertain myself. I felt lonely, out of place, isolated and very unhappy. I couldn't even walk to the shop for a bit of a relief as they live on a farm in the middle of nowhere. And yeah, I felt like just walking and walking and walking and never coming back.
But............I got on with it, I got through it, and though it seemed to last forever, I can now see that it was only a short period and we are all back to normal now. If this is your situation day after day then you have to make the changes, they won't happen by themselves, you have to instigate them. That takes courage, but what is the alternative, feeling like this forever? Whereas the best that could happen is that you turn your life around and feel a damnsight happier!

Mirage · 09/01/2006 19:51

I currently feel like this once a week at least.It is the day to day grind & 2 crying whining children that just about tip me over the edge.I'm fed up of having an overflowing washing basket,ironing in piles everywhere & no cupboards or shelves to put anything away in.

I have a fantasy of running out the door & into the fields & just standing there & screaming.

I go to work for a rest!

gingernut · 09/01/2006 20:10

Yes, sometimes. Particularly at this time of year when it is so dreary and I feel there isn't much to look forward to. Do you think it could be something like that dragging you down at the moment?

Original poster
deaddennis · 09/01/2006 21:02

It's everything really. It just seems such a waste of time doing anything. I hate the place being a tip but I seem to be constantly clearing up, or washing, or putting away washing, or cooking, bathing the kids etc etc. As soon as I've finished something, something else needs doing. I just can't see the point anymore, no one cares apart from me, it's like wading through treacle.

There isn't a lot I can do about it though, this will probably be my life for a few more years. Just feeling totally pissed off with the whole thing at the moment. Slightly comforted to know I'm not the only one.

OP posts:
MrsMiggins · 09/01/2006 21:09

yes I feel like this
constant washing - DS "forgets" to go to loo and ends up wetting pants AND trousers regularly
constant clearing up of toys and kitchen

AND no H to boot (although he didnt help at all)

I do wonder what Im living for (apart from obviously my children)

this thread is making me feel more depressed so going to bed

notasheep · 09/01/2006 21:14

deaddennis-exactly,no job is ever done!!! if dp puts up a shelf in the bathroom,job is done and hopefully wont have to be done again.

I have even counted how many socks i have to wash each week!!!How sad is that,I hate the domestic drudgery of it all,but still do it.

Oh to have a cleaner,dishwasher,driver,homehelp!
My sister says to me do everything you do with love! but i am knackered and feel like a doormat and my hands are so dry,and the Neutrogena fantastic hand cream isnt working!!!!

Original poster
deaddennis · 09/01/2006 21:19

It just seems pointless. I don't feel like I have anytime to enjoy the kids, too busy just trying to get the basics done. They'll probably hate me when they're older because I don't have enough time for them. Exp thinks they will hate me anyway for splitting up their family. Another nail in my coffin.

OP posts:
MrsMiggins · 09/01/2006 21:20

Ive got some crap cream I bought from some beauty therapist for £30 aned that doesnt make my hands better

she made me feel guilty for "neglecting" myself

glass of wine helps oh and watching some ITV pgm at 2.30pm today that I taped - off to watch that

expatinscotland · 09/01/2006 21:21

I always feel like I've got my back against the wall, so I see where you're coming from.

Ask yourself this, however, when you feel low: would you trade your life now for the life you had before you had kids? Not if you knew then what you know now, but as it was when you were there.

If the answer is no, then hang in there!

If the answer is yes, well, then, that's another issue I'm afraid . . .

expatinscotland · 09/01/2006 21:21

Wine! MissM, how could I have forgotten!

notasheep · 09/01/2006 21:24

Adore dd and ds its dp who drags the day down

zaphod · 09/01/2006 21:24

Tell me about it. I've spent the last 3 days painting the walls and woodwork of the spare room, bought new curtains, and matching bedding, nice throw for the chair, put everything together today, 3 hours later ds4 has covered the (cream)throw in blue marker. I meam FFS the room was'nt even nice for 24 hours.... I constantly wonder what the point is.

Original poster
deaddennis · 09/01/2006 21:32

Obviously, I wouldn't be without the kids, I just thought there would be more fun not constant stress and guilt.

OP posts:
zaphod · 09/01/2006 21:38

Are your kids old enough to help out? My oldest 3 who are 11, 8 and 9 have chores everyday which REALLY made a difference to me. Basically, they tidy, and I do laundry, cook and clean.

expatinscotland · 09/01/2006 21:39

Tell me about it, dennis! There's NO way I could fathom the feelings I feel now being a mum.

Original poster
deaddennis · 09/01/2006 21:42

My eldest was 8 on Saturday, she does help me out quite a bit, probably because I'm a moany old cow and she feels like she should. It takes a lot more to get dd2 and ds1 to help and ds2 is only a baby.

OP posts:
zaphod · 09/01/2006 21:51

I pay mine for chores, otherwise they wouldn't do them. Having said that I have to nag and nag ds2. It really has made a difference though. Last year, I gave up work, and did all the housework, because I felt if I was at home, I should. I was wondering why I never seemed to have time for anything else, when a thread about chores reminded me that when I was working the children were expected to do certain jobs, which had fallen by the wayside over time.

I told them the next day and set up a rota. Is it any wonder they hate Mumsnet?

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