People touching babies. Your opinions.

[GemgleBells]

My Dd is 11 weeks old and I have always enjoyed people cooing over her when I take her out. Like most mums I get a hugh sense of pride when they tell me how lovely she is and ask about her.

But yesterday someone touched her. I was feeding her in the corner of a coffee shop when a group of three women came in and moved towards the back of the shop. The first in the group saw Dd and made for her like a greyhound for a hare. She grabbed Dd's hand and started stroking it before she even asked any questions. I was so shocked I didn't know what to do but held Dd extra close and gave her very short answers and fight the urge to hit this women. Told Dh last night and he said if he'd been there she would have been in no doubt as to where she could put her hand.

Are we over-reacting? Have you ever done that? We wouldn't do it to an adult we didn't know, so is it acceptable to do it to a baby? Opinions please.

My son spent the time we waiting for my DD school to finish in the bar with my son helping behind the bar. I sat and drank my coffee and chatting the barista

i dont understand people who like babies

I love cooing over babies and making a fuss over them.
I also love when my babies have been made a fuss out of too.
Whenever i see a baby to someone i know, i will always cross their palm with silver (50p coin)

Babies are totally different to adults, I don't want to touch all adults randomly because they are not all so adorable as babies are! Babies are all fragility and innocence and so so tiny and gorgeous!

I have to say I don't think I would touch a strangers baby as our society (UK) doesn't seems to approve does it? So I would ask. But everytime I see a baby I want to touch/hold it!

And I was happy for people to touch my dd but it was a bit of a shock at first. I never got that much attention!

I'll second MaryPop's comments about Italy. Had trouble getting down the street with dd1 when we took her to Florence when she was 5 months old (... though mostly people who thought she must be too cold telling us to cover her up more! ). Also in a restaurant she started to cry while we were eating our main course and the waiter just came over and picked her up and carried her around with him while he took his orders, so that we could eat. (It was a small family-run type place, so she was never out of my sight or anything.) Everyone in the place had a stroke of her! (She was very small, so looked a lot less than 5 months.)

In restaurants (and also at home), I believe that children should sit at the table as far as is reasonable. But there are often long waits between ordering and getting food, which are tedious for children (at home you wouldn't make your child sit at the table while you prepared her tea - you'd call her when it was ready). I always have pencils, paper etc in my bag for such occasions. But I am also tolerant of a certain amount of controlled getting-down and moving about. However, I'd try to keep my kids around my own table, if not actually sitting in their own chairs (e.g. at a restaurant in France this summer where the service was particularly slow, dd2 (3) did spend a lot of time sitting under the table playing with a My Little Pony). I don't think that indiscriminate charging-about is fair on other diners (though was horrified in same restaurant in France when a childless couple refused to sit next to us, even though my dds were sitting and behaving (quite!) nicely).

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Well I wouldn't like someone grabbing my hand, specially old people they could be... diseased!

I get people touching and kissing me as well, which did at first seem a bit strange but I've got used to it now.

I get people touching and kissing me as well, which did at first seem a bit strange but I've got used to it now.

as this thread has evolved into a children in restaurants thing I'll add my bit. I agree with Caligula - sitting in a restaurant is a skill that needs teaching and you can't expect to teach somthing unless you expose the child to the circumstances and bring them along gently and gradually. I wouldn't expect 8, 9, 10 year olds to run around and on the whole they don't. Equally would find a 3 year old sitting perfectly whilst waiting for orders a bit wierd. Gemglebells - if you can remember sitting still in restaurants and feeling grown up (as I can) then I'd hazard a guess you were older then the age a lot of people are talking about.

The children I am talking about are 3 and 7 (now). My 7 year sits without being asked, occassionally getting up to get something or talk to some, so she doesn't have to shout across the table, Italian restaurants are loud. My 3 year find more than 5 monutes difficult but will stay near the table or where it is appropriate to play.

Re the restaurant thing - when we were in Tuscany last year, we went to a small restaurant for dinner one night. There were about 3 other families - all British, and the kids were all beautifully behaved. They got down from the table in the longish waits between courses, played quietly with each other, and were generally fab.

Then about 10.30, a large Italian family arrived - with the most obnoxious, loud, badly behaved kids you've ever seen . It was very nice to be rather smug, as British kids so often get a bad press when it comes to restaurants.

You should have been at my son's christmas play today, you would have been shocked. It was so funny. The play started 30mins later to wait for the arrival of the parents. The parent swere shoving each other out the way to get the best picture and video as much as possible. Half way through they stopped to get more parents in!!! then Santa arrived and all hell broke loose. Children scrabbled for there prsent, a little boy running around and around Santa, parents shoving each other and pushing. If fact some were on the stage!! They gave up trying to keep order and took the children that had got presents out to the party in the nursery. The children had to scrambled through the crowd. Then came the party. It made the play look calm. Nobody cried, nobody got hurt, everybody was happy and laughing and it was very funny. I love to see what they thought of an chirstmas play in the UK.

I can remember back to my third birthday hativity.

Being taken to a restaurant wasn't a regular thing. It was reserved for special occasions and my sister and I were always told we were going as we were big girls. We had pens and paper to play with and I think my parents must have scoped out restaurants before hand as we never had a long wait for food. If that had happened sis and I may not have been so well behaved.

On the same topic about 6 months back Dh and I went for a meal in Weathspoons. We sat in the non-smokers section which also allows children. Two women came in after us with seven children between them aged between two and ten (although that is a rough guess, didn't ask.) and they were awful! They needed two tables and as soon as they were all sat one of the kids would decide they didn't want to sit with that group and would pull their chair to the other table, and while fighting with the adults about where they wanted to sit the other six would kick off, even the older ones. There's no excuse for that IMHO.

I can relate to your original post GB, I can recall having my gut wrench slightly whenever anyone I didn't know touched my DS. All gone now though and I always just tried to be grateful for the kind things they said and looked at the attention they paid to DS as a kindness too. Wouldn't feel like hitting them! I think the only time I really felt very protective and a definate 'DO NOT touch' feeling was when a tramp was sat next to me on a train. Awful, I know, but covered in sores and obviously had an alcohal problem. Seemed a lovely chap but all I could think was please don't touch him!!

Yes I do think you over reacted... In my experience it is usually older folk who want to touch babies - it is just something about babes that brings it out in people. Dd2 often has people stroking her head and Dd1 ( 3yo) will grab people in stores to shake their hand and say hello.