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Original poster

Evil Tesco Lady has emotionally scarred my dd for life!!

143 replies

thehockeyandtheivy · 10/12/2005 09:43

Took dd to the HUGE Tescos on Tuesday, the ones with those car trolleys. Anyway, dd (3) got fed up and shouted a little bit when we had to give the car back (they dont go outside so you trsnfer your shopping to a normal trolley). It wasn't a tantrum by any means, I just said "Don't shout at mummy" to her. The woman on the till got off the till went over to her, got down on her level and said in a really nasty voice "You are a naughty, naughty little girl, you don't deserve a good mummy. When Father Christmas comes he's not going to leave you any presents, he's going to take your mummy away and you will never see her again"

I was absolutely flabbergasted. DD screamed and screamed, I have never seen her so scared in her life. She will now not let me out of her sight, is clingy still (after 4 days), has said she doesn't want Father Christmas in the house and is just crying and crying that she's scared I'll go away. She is already a bit clingy because of this pregnancy (a lot of them do that anyway) but is so much worse now she seems like an emoptional wreck this week.

What should I do?

OP posts:
BadHair · 13/12/2005 17:58

I complained to Tesco when the security guard loudly accused me of shoplifting because I had given a gingerbread man to dses before paying for it. I was still halfway round the store when he accused me, and all the other customers heard the accusation.

I tried to complain on the day at customer services, but I started crying and couldn't actually speak, so put it in writing when I got home.

Tesco contacted me 3 days later and they wanted to come to my house to see me. I preferred to go to the store as for some reason I thought they would bring the security man with them, which was just potty of me. Anyway, they gave me a HUGE bunch of flowers and shedloads of Easter eggs for dses. They also put the security man on a formal disciplinary as he'd done it before.

So, to cut matters short, you really should complain. This woman may well have done something like this before. Make sure your dd knows that you've complained, and take her with you if they want to talk to you.

FWIW it's pointless writing to head office over this - they'll just route it back to the store manager to deal with. So write direct to the manager. They do take complaints seriously - word of mouth can make all the difference in a shop's reputation.

Good luck.

PeachyPlumFairy · 13/12/2005 18:19

I complained at nat West when an assistant basically said that Sam was just a naughty child and dismissed his As diagnosis with something along the lines of 'Yes, my sis has a naughty child too I know all about them'. When Dh came in with ds3 she looked and said 'so is this the good one then?'. I didn't get anything but she was put on disability training and I haven't gone in there since, I use a different branch now. Was worth complaining: how dare she imply I was making up excuses about my son's behaviour.

PeachyPlumFairy · 13/12/2005 18:22

Actually just thought- I'm a habitual complainer (though I write thank tou's too- give and take). Sainsburys was used by us 2 years ago to order food for ds1's birthday party, as we had moved 2 days before and they do great mixed buffet platters. They made tham all, but one (a sliced fruit mix) which DS had chosen especially and was ahrd work to make had been crossed off the list by the assistant who couldn't be bothered. It was hard explaining to Sam why he couldn't have it and he became mightily upset, cue a £20 voucher and a happy birthday note from the store

But you know, it was pretty lazy!

bouncy · 18/12/2005 13:00

OMG cant believe this, what has happened since. Is your DD ok?

Original poster
thehockeyandtheivy · 18/12/2005 17:28

Still waiting for a response from Tesco. They've had the letter 6 days now. If I don't get a response now I'll be mightily upset. I actually put in my letter that people had told me to go to the papers but that I wouldn't put her through that. I know they'd make me pose in front of the store with dd looking sad and won't put her through any more than she's already facing. I'll let you know when there's a response.

OP posts:
hercules · 18/12/2005 17:29

I would call them to ask the store manager what he intends to do.

Socci · 18/12/2005 17:40

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Socci · 18/12/2005 17:42

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IntergalacticTheRedNosedWalrus · 18/12/2005 17:56

6 days waiting for a reply is, quite frankly, bloody appalling.

catsmother · 19/12/2005 12:25

I hate to say this but in all my dealings with Tesco, I've found their attitude and quality of customer service pretty appalling. I had to wait 6 weeks for a response to a previous complaint, which was then just brushed under the carpet.

Unfortunately, it's very difficult for me to vote with my feet because they are my nearest store - the next nearest big store is 9 miles away.

In your case, the lack of response is even more disgusting. I would be tempted to demand an appointment with the store manager now.

Or contact the press ...... their failure to address the issue has compounded a very nasty incident, and will make an even better story. As someone else has already mentioned, the tabloids love "Scrooge" type stories at this time of year.

Socci · 20/12/2005 10:19

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NotQuiteCockney · 20/12/2005 10:21

I'd hit the local papers for this. While it's still seasonal. What an outrageous situation!

Mergirl · 20/12/2005 12:04

Can't they just get you to pose looking sad? Or refuse a picture? If they want to run the story, they'll find a picture!

Punish that Tescos! They are evil!

IntergalacticTheRedNosedWalrus · 20/12/2005 12:06

Get onto the paper. I know you aren't keen, but I can't see any other way in which you can get this resolved quickly. While they are fannying around with your letter, that evil hag is still at large

xmasspub · 20/12/2005 12:34

Phone and demand to speak to the manager. Give him/her til X o'clock to contact you or you are going to the local/national press.
Go girl!

jinglinggoblin · 20/12/2005 12:40

i would write to head office. sounds like the manager needs a boot up the backside aswell

NewBethlehemGirlwithsparkles · 20/12/2005 12:43

I don't think going to the press is a great idea IMO.

It's not really Tesco's fault that this horrid woman said such awful things to Hockeyandivys dd, yes they've put a woman who obviously has no concept of communication with children. They are guilty of that but I don't think they could forsee a member of staff saying something like that.

The other thing is could you really put the woman through that. Newspapers being newspapers, they'll want names and I know for a fact I couldn't do that to someone especially at this time of year. I know what she said was shockingly bad but even so...

I agree with xmasspub, phone the store and demand to speak to the manager. I dare bet that your letter was opened in store (if that is where you sent it) and it will ost likely have been sent on to their HQ for someone at Human Resources to deal with, hence the delay.
I think you'll get a much better response doing things that way rather than wait about for letters.

NewBethlehemGirlwithsparkles · 20/12/2005 12:45

Should have finished my second sentance off!

I meant to say that they are guilty of putting that woman in contact with the public, which is obviously not a great idea.

OComeOliveFaithfOil · 20/12/2005 12:46

Is this for real? I really cannot see anyone saying this to a child unless they were deranged.

catsmother · 20/12/2005 14:59

"The other thing is could you really put the woman through that. Newspapers being newspapers, they'll want names and I know for a fact I couldn't do that to someone especially at this time of year. I know what she said was shockingly bad but even so... "

Maybe I'm particularly evil, but this woman didn't give a second thought to the distress she caused a very small child (let alone her mother) "especially at this time of year". Never mind putting the woman through this ....... she only has herself to blame. The child has been "put through" a very nasty and frightening experience, without the necessary where with all to begin to understand why.

That bloody old bag should face the consequences of her actions, whatever they are. I have no sympathy for her at all.

And whilst Tescos couldn't have predicted a staff member would behave like this, they have now been alerted to the fact that they did, on THEIR premises, and have woefully failed to even acknowledge the complaint, let alone offer any apology or compensation.

So sod them too.

It's really quite disgusting, and very indicative of how easily big corporations can lose sight of how important individual customers should be regarded. I find their lack of response quite contemptuous and would have no hesitation in going to the press. They've had every chance to respond already.

Kittypickle · 20/12/2005 15:04

What is it about Tesco's staff ? I was in one today and DS playing up a bit as we were going past one of the staff stacking shelfs and she started this "you've got to be good or Father Christmas won't come business. Luckily DS (2.3) is too young to understand what she was going on about but I guess she thought he was older as he's very tall.

Socci · 20/12/2005 15:04

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Socci · 20/12/2005 15:05

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handlemecarefully · 20/12/2005 15:08

I'm honestly not being devils advocate here, but do you think the woman concerned was just a bit stupid, unthinking and didn't think through the enormity of what she was saying hockey's dd?

I do find some childless people rather 'dim' when it comes to interactions with / understanding of small children.

NewBethlehemGirlwithsparkles · 20/12/2005 15:14

I agree, she is an old bag and what she said was totally out of order and unnecesary however I could not name and shame someone in a newspaper like that.

Again, what she said was awful but maybe just maybe, she didn't realise what she said was so bad and that it would effect a child like that.
Sadly some people's brains do not function before they speak.

Going back to Tesco, I honestly believe that they will have sent this letter on to their HQ for them to deal with. Yes ok, they should have at least acknowledged the fact they had received it but the store manager could have read it and thought "WTF do I do?" He'll have to consider some form of compensation for HockeyIvy and her dd and some way of disciplining and tackling the member of staff involved, which is not an easy thing to do.

I definatley think that the papers would name too. Why would they give a damn?

If it were me I would feel much better and I think it would have a bigger effect on the staff member if I went back and sat down with the Store Manager and the woman and explained that what she said was so upsetting to my dd and the effect it has had on her.