Were you incredibly bright at school?

[Pruni]

Message withdrawn

My memory is shot now Pruni - is yours? I feel like I have been haemorraging information since having kids - all that interesting stuff replaced with the words to nursery rhymes, how to put a bionicle together in 30 seconds flat and where the bookbags were dumped last night....

Is there a pattern emerging here, I wonder? If you're bright enough to shine at school without having to really work, does that mean you have to learn self discipline later on in life?

Like most of you lot, I was seriously bright at school with straight A grades, S levels, the lot. At university it went a bit wonky, though, and I scraped through a 2:2 after having belatedly applied a bit of hard graft in the last two terms. Too little, too late.

Since then my ability to really apply myself to stuff that is tedious but worthwhile has improved, but I'm still not what you might call a 'completer-finisher'. I've been happy enough, but now, at the age of 35, I'm beginning to wonder if I couldn't achieve a bit more, with all the resources at my disposal.

Mind you, that would mean less time for Mumsnet, and I'm not sure anything is worth that sacrifice

Gizom - are you sure you're not me?!

Pruni and Gizmo...SNAP!
Was bright high achiever until Uni when I discovered partying/boys/booze and fags and discovered I had no self-discipline at all...again scraped a 2:2 (people were shocked I managed that on my attendance/work rate record)...since then have yet to find my niche in life, have had high paying but ultimately unsatisying jobs but am going to retrain after next child is born and become a teacher which is what I think i would be truly good at and what I have always secretly wanted to do.....

i was very bright at school, got moved up a year in primarary and offered the same in secondry but turned it down as I wanted to be with my friends. I basically got used to not trying and then when important exams came, I just could not be bothered as I thought I would ace them. Friends and social life were more important to me from the age of about 14 and ive scraped my way through everything since. I also got a 2.2.

see I cant even spell primary properly

Ah Prettybird, you know I'm just stalking you .

I was 'top of the class' in primary school, went to a good girls grammar school where I was in the top set for maths all the way through and did well in sciences but was in bottom set for French .

Had a bit of a lapse in 6th form where I couldn't be arsed and got a B and a couple of U's for A levels! Went off to American summer camp and came back to go to college to do new A levels - got As and Bs that time.

Probably worked hardest at uni as I loved it and was a complete girly swot - was in top 5 in my subject and got a 2:1 (1%, I kid you not, from a first - that's another story).

Flew up the ladder in first job, moved up north and flew up the ladder in second job.....then left! Am now SAHM!

However, I do work freelance for my last employer and earn brilliant money for the work I do in my spare time - if I'd stayed in work I'd be a Director by now and raking it in, but I always said if I had children I'd want to be at home with them - for me that's a priority and I consider myself very lucky to be in this position. Although I could, I can't see myself ever going back to 'the rat race' - I'm happy doing a bit of work to earn cash and keep my brain ticking but primarily managing the house and family and generally making sure everyone is happy. 50's housewife? Moi?!

hm. fulfilling promise, therein lies a can of worms. I did pretty well at school (had a blip when I ran around telling teachers to fck off but that's another story), got into Oxford, stayed on and did an MPhil, had no desire to be a conventional high-flyer and have ended up at an NGO. I'm doing quite well there and think I'm reasonably respected but can't help thinking why didn't I listen to my mum and become a barrister. Mainly coz I'd like a bit more respect - from people outside my immediate field of contact, but I suspect that if I was a barrister I would be a bit of an average one. I've got the basic tools but not the desire to channel them wholly in one direction. I like watching Footballer's Wives and coming on mn ffs. Not sure many high-flyers wasted time on such trivia.

Message withdrawn

However, I don't think we should give up hope of 'fulfilling our potential' quite yet . My experience is that, even at my advanced age, I am still learning more about myself, what motivates me and how to stick at things and I'm sure that something we all learn as we get more comfortable in our skins.

All I've got to do is work out how to apply it to something that matters to me and I'll be b*dy unstoppable....

So, any thoughts on what schools should be doing to help gifted/talented kids fulfil their potential? What would have helped you - especially in terms of learning to knuckle down, as well as just winging it?

I was always top of the class, went to uni straight from school and quit after less than two years as I just couldn't be bothered. Not long after that I met dh, had ds. Did a childcare course, had dd. Now I have just started a distance learning degree - so I am going to get somewhere eventually

maybe everyone reaches a point where they just think "i've had enough" - for some it's A levels, for some it's half way through a degree, for some it's some stage into their career - and for some - the real high flyers - it never happens. I suspect it has little to do with ability. I think it's just a case of priorities, of learning about what makes you tick. If it leaves you with a feeling of unfulfilled promise then maybe it's a bit of a problem. But if not then it's not. why should we all measure promise and fulfillment using the same criteria?

Fauve, that's just such a tough one...

TBH, the one thing that has really taught me about proper graft and sticking at it has been DS, because the responsibility and the work was unavoidable. However, learning that lesson was incredibly hard - I got PND for starters.

I don't think I would wish such a hard lesson on a child. My school did a good job (as did my parents) of teaching me that you can't expect to sit back and have life given to you on a plate: that you do have to work for what you want. It's just that what I want has always been rather modest, up to now.

So perhaps schools could do something to inspire children with a vision of how they could, personally, contribute to the world, achieve their goals - and using that as a carrot, teach them that it could be hard work along the way?

Soooo not, reasonably bright but at primary all I did was daydream about ponies, failed 11 plus and went to a crap sec modern - where I was top of some classes (but thats not saying much TBH). Did A levels and got totally mediocre grades then 2:2 LLB Law (Too busy drinking and trying to pull .

Just too lazy really, must have decent genes though cos my little sister has always been a straight A/A* student and has a First from Kings Coll and Masters from LSE and Columbia.

I had some particular abilities (a real facility with words, mostly - showed up most of all in doing translations) which seem to have made people think I was bright, & got me school exams, & Oxford, & all through.

But I'm not really bright - I don't have the retentive mind, the agile lateral sparkiness, the drive, that people I think are clever have - not even much intellectual curiosity, really. All I have got is this flair thing.

I wonder if now that schools don't judge you so much on three hours worth of writing I'd be seen quite differently?

Was at primary school, but when I got to grammar school, it went tits up, as I was the thick kid, and I spent most of ther time messing around

ooohh me me me! was top in most things at school, except of course PE. (but it was a very rough state school - my parents were forever lamenting that i should be among the other bright kids who had mainly been packed off to private school, but they couldn't afford it...) then a first from oxbridge.

by university i was probably ok but at school i was a total prig, constantly telling teachers they'd spelt things wrong etc. this is why i know i'll be a total PITA with any teachers i encounter as a parent. especially any that are like those described here... urgh

I was clever till I got to about 17. I peaked with a scholarship to Oxford at that point. And never relived, or fulfilled, that youthful promise.

Binkie's intelligence is luminous, btw, don't believe her.

OMG NO no no no.

alway the class clown, and not the type student I'd want my kids to be.

How weird, was just about to start a thread on this very subject - along the lines of Gizmo's comment: "If you're bright enough to shine at school without having to really work, does that mean you have to learn self discipline later on in life? "

Definitely an issue for both me and dh - neither of us were stretched enough at primary/secondary level, coasted along without ever making any effort ... got to the bit where it really counts, and it all went wrong.

Dh walked out of school before sitting his A levels because he refused to do the homework as he didn't need to do it. He was told, "no, you don't need to as you are very bright, but it sets a bad example to the others so you will have to leave". He re-sat his A levels (well turned up to the exams), got good enough grades to study law, then failed his law degree. He had never learnt (and/or never been taught) how to work - he'd never had to.

I scraped through my A levels and went to Uni to study Behavioural Sciences (same uni as dh!), and scraped a 2:1 (when I could have got a first if I'd applied myself). Tbh I don't think it was so much lack of effort, as lack of ability to work effectively.

We are both soooo keen that the dds don't go down the same route. Fortunately their teacher has got them sussed and is very keen to keep them challenged.