Mumsnet: The Rules - things a good Mother should never do

[northerner]

1. Bottlefeed

2. Smoke outside the school 3. Feed grapes to children in Supermarket

Carry on...

sleep

eat

go to the toilet alone
shower

Send them to school when they're not 100% because you're going shopping with your friends, telling them it'll do them good to go!

drive a chelsea tractor

Climb up the slide in the park

101. let em go on a shooting trip with an irresponsible, possibly drunken man

try and squeeze your arse into the swing/down the slide in the park

Leave them alone ........ anywhere! Anything could happen! Just think!

Be fat enough to have dp and ds on the other end of a seesaw and have it balance perfectly.

Be n a seesaw at all when 5 months pregnant.

Moan when 2 yo ds wants to get off said seesaw cos it has been ages since you have been on one and you were really enjoying yourself

Moan the next day when your unmentionables really ache because you wouldn't get off the seesaw.

A good mummy would never leave their kids to be babysat by their 13 year old sister whilst she went out on the piss in town.

Never do the school run in comfortable shoes, a fleece and cheap high waisted denims.

Having re-read my last post, can I claim the prize for the most ambiguous sentence on this thread please!

Don't hold a baby up above your head - guaranteed faceful of puke. Can't believe people still do this!!!

Don't go out anywhere without first checking both your shoulders.

Don't leave toddlers sitting on a proper toilet by themselves - they WILL fall down it!

never use jars or admit to using them - you'll spend the next hour justifying it.

never use phenergan, medised or dozol to try and drug your child to sleep.

never bribe your children with sweets, chocolate or crisps.

never ever on pain of death lose their favourite snuggly toy, bit of cloth, comfort item.

never tell them that anyone you know looks nerdy, weird, fat, thin, ill, spotty etc without expecting them to repeat it at exactly the worst moment.

Rufuse to have a cuddle & kiss when asked, no matter how busy!

what is wrong with bottle feeding northener?

oh no don't let this turn into a 'what's wrong with bottle feeding' thread!

my children were both bottle fed for my own reasons. i have bonded with both very well thankyou, i let them eat mcds, shock horror, dd watches cbeebies too! i take it i must be the most terrible mother on mn, they both just happen to be very happy and healthy despite the torture i put them through!

PARP

Message withdrawn

i'm not staying just in case!