Getting it off my chest....

[Willow2]

Anyone want to join in on a thread just devoted to sounding off about (non parenting) things that have annoyed you? Well here goes...
I would like to say a big thank you to the absolute xxxxxx that pranged my car while it was parked outside my house sometime in the last 48 hours. The fact that you didn't feel it necessary to leave your details just adds to my love for you. You are probably one of the caring commuters who parks in my road (for free) all day before taking the train to town - glad that we can be of service. Nor should you let the
fact that your journey has turned our quiet little cul-de-sac where kids play footie in the street into the fifth lane of the M25 worry you in the least. And don't be perturbed by the fact that I, and all the other mums in the road, can now no longer park anywhere near our houses when we come home with the supermarket shopping and a car full of screaming kids. Hey, it's all just helps make our day even more fun. So thank you, nameless stranger, for completely annihilating the front of my car and losing me my no claims bonus. My week had looked really boring, now, thanks to you, there's so much to do... I have to go to the police station, get insurance quotes, fax my insurers and then wait for them to send an assessor round to view the damage. And then, if I am really lucky, I will lose the use of my car for several days. Gee things are looking up. You have really made my day.
Sorry chaps, just had to let it out.

Down with bullies! Dixie, your story has me hopping too! I, too, would be itching to type a message in reply. I think the most sensible thing to do is get the offending message removed, but if this would still leave you seething inside then here are some suggestions:

First, bide your time. This depends on how active your school message board is. Is it likely other pupils will comment on this slander or the perpetrator of it? Then your reply can take on board all comments. Also you need time to
compose yourself and think about your reply.

Second, there is a good saying 'living well is the best revenge' I think it's good anyway. It's helped me out of similar situations. In my opinion, for what it's worth, I think your message should contain no mention of this bully, but be a beautifully written, funny piece about some postive aspect of the school, or your friends there. The bully will know you have seen her piece, but you are choosing not to rise to it. If you feel you must, say a cheery hello to her at the end of your message. Whatever you say to her keep it positive. Could you suggest that she emails you direct, if she wants to share more mutual reminiscences? If you stay polite and on top, your confidence and your lack of fear for this person will be evident for all to see.

Hope this helps

Thanks all, it's so nice to know people understand. Alibani you seem to have read my mind, that is exactly how I feel: PROUD OF THE PERSON I'VE TURNED INTO (wish I'd been more aware of my self attributes back then!). The dilemma I have though is her comments aren't on the message board they are on her personal notes (using me to remind people of her!). So I feel if I am to reply it will be via a personal e-mail to her. I'm still debating it.....REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED COLD (or so they say!)

Dixie
I agree with Tigermoth. Get the message removed but then also add your own (very positive) note about your life now.
This person has clearly got a problem if shes carrying it on this many years later - think all you can do is rise above it.

Dixie, I'd second Tigermoth and Kizzie. I noticed when I first joined Friendsreunited that one of the gang of four girls who bullied me really badly at primary school had put quite a bit of information about herself on the site. Nothing about me, I hasten to add, but just seeing her name there made me see red for a few minutes. Like you Dixie, I have moved on from that difficult time, and decided against paying £5 to send a mail telling her exactly what I thought of her. But I noticed the next time I logged on, she'd removed her personal information. Not scared I'd track her down and do her over, surely?
So, Dixie, you might find that just putting on an upbeat and positive message that makes no acknowledgement of her presence in your past is enough to scare her. Bullies = cowards.

Dixie, I was bullied badly at school by the same gang of girls for at least a couple of years. When I replied to my F.R emails and spoke of my unhappiness most people didn't even know it went on. Because I suppose it always happened where they weren't seen.

I would not reply to your bully, I would not mention it. I think it is very sad that she holds this in her memory and I wouldn't waste my time typing about it. Forget it, and her and move on.

But yes ask for it to be removed by FR. She is obviously still a nasty heartless bitch and the years haven't changed her.

My bully married young, had 2 boys, got divorced and lives alone in Southend. I hope she's miserable. Perhaps I had the last laugh. R.

I looked at the FR site yesterday and all the messages posted about Teachers had been removed (didn't look to see if others had) and they are editing any 'sensitive' messages before putting them back on again.

Dixie, I'd never had a look at friendsreunited until this thread came up. I thought I had better go off and educate myself about the whole thing. It took ages to work the thing out (unlike mumsnet) .Anyway, I persevered, and now at least I understand what you meant about the personal notes. Incidentally, I also had a good old read about some of my old chums and not-so chums, so it was an interesting exercise!
All I can say now is NOW SAD AND TOTALLY PATHETIC that this bully referred to you in her own personal notes! She obviously had so little to say about herself and her own successes that she had to revert to mentioning you. Now that I understand how the system works, I fully agree with the others. She is not worth replying to directly. Go ahead and write something really cheerful, witty and interesting about yourself; she'll read it and see that YOU have moved onwards and upwards, unlike herself.

Why do people buy cars they dont know the width of, cant drive them then hit my wing mirror and take the paint off. Just when Im looking to change it.

Why do people have to let their dogs poo in my front garden???? My kids always seem to make a beeline for it.

When I used to have a dog, I used to carry a plastic bag and dispose of the poo as they do in Switzerland.

I hate working in the City! Argh! I have just spent an hour trekking around EC2 to buy the following not terribly obscure goods: Present for newborn baby; chillout CD for birthday present; lavender oil for recovering new mum; map of Northern France for forthcoming shopping spree; junior nappies for bare-behinded son.
I realise that I am lucky to have the disposable income to fund such an outing, especially following the thread on the difficulties faced by jobless parents, but I will say in defence that practically none of this is for ME. Why is Boots in the City so incredibly useless? Why is the whole of the City of London so despicably anti-parent? If I wanted to go out and get completely bladdered in my lunch break, I'd have no problem. Or buy a *!!? mobile phone. But nappies? What a marginal requirement. Fume, rant over.

Marina, you may have started something here... why is Boots so useless generally. Boots in Bath is hopeless... they are really lacking in the baby section (something they were once good at) and I swear I went in there for tampons recently and they'd been removed from the shelves for yet another christmas display! I assume that they will reinstate the tampons on a shelf before the Christmas display comes down!

Marina, we recently visited London and could we find somewhere to feed ds or change him. We ended up in Hamleys with changing facilities on the top floor with one little room and one changing thingy. I think the whole country is baby unfriendly except Bluewater where I think I will be taking a trip before Christmas.

Marina, you are sooo spot on about the City! Every other shops sells mobiles/coffee/sandwiches or is a bar, if you want to buy anything baby/child related, then forget it.

I don't think the City's shortcomings are confined to London. These days, it would be easy to starve to death on most High Streets, due to the lack of shops that sell anything edible, apart from the omnipresent Starbucks !

I HATE STARBUCKS!!!!

Starbucks? You should come to Portsmouth they haven't got any decent shops not even a Starbucks. Portsmouth is so far behind in going forward its unreal. The only thing it spends its money on is traffic lights (to the extent both my Dad and uncle have refused to drive in Portsmouth ever again). Ikea wanted to come here but the Council ended up arguing over the reclaimation of land. There is this advert on the TV/radio about the indoor shopping centre saying its a whole high street under one roof - it should be done under the trade descriptions act! I have only found one place to go to the toilet when i have the buggy and that's Tesco. If I go to Southsea its even worse and there is nowhere to fit in with the buggy/child and you to go to the loo. I'm not willing to leave buggy or child outside the toilet while I go in the public toilets (God I hate the public toilets - I have to be really desperate before I will go near them).As I've said on another thread there is hardly anywhere to go for a meal when you have a child down here either. It makes it worse when you go abroad and find nearly everywhere is child friendly. I'm looking forward to Spain as I don't think there are many places where they don't allow children.

Starbucks? You should come to Portsmouth they haven't got any decent shops not even a Starbucks. Portsmouth is so far behind in going forward its unreal. The only thing it spends its money on is traffic lights (to the extent both my Dad and uncle have refused to drive in Portsmouth ever again). Ikea wanted to come here but the Council ended up arguing over the reclaimation of land. There is this advert on the TV/radio about the indoor shopping centre saying its a whole high street under one roof - it should be done under the trade descriptions act! I have only found one place to go to the toilet when i have the buggy and that's Tesco. If I go to Southsea its even worse and there is nowhere to fit in with the buggy/child and you to go to the loo. I'm not willing to leave buggy or child outside the toilet while I go in the public toilets (God I hate the public toilets - I have to be really desperate before I will go near them).As I've said on another thread there is hardly anywhere to go for a meal when you have a child down here either. It makes it worse when you go abroad and find nearly everywhere is child friendly. I'm looking forward to Spain as I don't think there are many places where they don't allow children. Maybe I should have gone on the thread to get this off my chest!

Ooops I was already on it!!! I can't even blame the alcohol as its only 1800.

Startbucks is ok to have a coffee in but I just hate their marketing strategy- which is (allegedly) to deliberately drive all the other coffee shops in the area out of business. They use their financial muscle to buy 4 or 5 shops on one high street and then, when all the competition has been killed off, close down all except one. I think there's something really insidious about this. All the quirky independent coffee places go and you find that every high street looks the same. Bit of a shame really. Still, I suppose you're right and even a Starbucks would be better than nothing at all, Selja

Selja, use the disabled toilets if there is nobody waiting, you can fit your pram in. Cascades has a changing room with a toilet in it. Portsmouth isnt great, I tend to shop elsewhere. Have you been to Chichester??

ThHat's interesting, Scummymummy. My DS claims there are nine Starbucks on Princes Street, in Edinburgh! Mind you, there wasn't anywhere nice to have coffee on Princes St before they came, so I don't suppose it will make much odds if they shut eight of them. I've started using M&S coffee shops now. My daughter loves following the signs glued to the floor.

Joe1 everytime I've tried the disabled loos in Cascades its locked saying I have to get the pass thing from the Council. I love Chichester we haven't been for a while and I always like going to Pizza Express for lunch. Guildford is good too. I keep meaning to go to Brighton shopping but dh tends to keep me away from the shops everytime we have ventured up that long, long road. It seems to take forever to get to Brighton but its not very far from here.

No Starbucks where I live - I'm feeling deprived. Do I gather they are a coffee shop?

Now a rant - I ordered some supplements (2) from Healthy Direct as I'll try anything to try and lose weight. I got glucosamine with fish oil instead of co-enzyme Q10. So I contact them and after waiting for weeks today I got a replacement. Its more glucosamine with fish oil. To make it worse there is a dispatch note that clearly says coenzyme Q10 (both times). Although I may feel ancient at times I don't need the glucosamine yet! Just had to have a quick scream.