Getting it off my chest....

[Willow2]

Anyone want to join in on a thread just devoted to sounding off about (non parenting) things that have annoyed you? Well here goes...
I would like to say a big thank you to the absolute xxxxxx that pranged my car while it was parked outside my house sometime in the last 48 hours. The fact that you didn't feel it necessary to leave your details just adds to my love for you. You are probably one of the caring commuters who parks in my road (for free) all day before taking the train to town - glad that we can be of service. Nor should you let the
fact that your journey has turned our quiet little cul-de-sac where kids play footie in the street into the fifth lane of the M25 worry you in the least. And don't be perturbed by the fact that I, and all the other mums in the road, can now no longer park anywhere near our houses when we come home with the supermarket shopping and a car full of screaming kids. Hey, it's all just helps make our day even more fun. So thank you, nameless stranger, for completely annihilating the front of my car and losing me my no claims bonus. My week had looked really boring, now, thanks to you, there's so much to do... I have to go to the police station, get insurance quotes, fax my insurers and then wait for them to send an assessor round to view the damage. And then, if I am really lucky, I will lose the use of my car for several days. Gee things are looking up. You have really made my day.
Sorry chaps, just had to let it out.

O.K. as a confirmed cyclist I have to answer to that. The reason that most cyclist ride on the road rather than cycle paths is that they are the worst kept pieces of road, full of glass, potholes and PARKED CARS!!!!! Yes, I am guilty of sitting slightly in front of the traffic at red lights. This is because it is the safest place to be. The cars can at least see you there and not attempt to turn on top of you. I was once knocked off my bike by a woman taking her children to school. Se didn't stop until passers by chased her down. She then had the cheek to accuse me of not indicating. I was going FORWARD, it was her who was turning. When I pointed out that I had the right of way she told me I had no right to be on the roads at all. It is this attitude to cyclists in London that I cannot stand. There is this belief that we all cycle on pavements, knocking over innocent old ladies and depriving car drivers of their god given right to behave like morons on the road. The fact is that we are just as vulnerable, if not more so than pedestrians, yet we are the eco-friendly method of transport, contribute nothing towards the high asthma rates or road deaths (except our own). And yes, I would cheerfully thump any of those macho idiots who courier around London, they give people like me a bad name.

Slug, my following rant isn't directed at you personally. Although I am not a cyclist now, I grew up in Cambridge where, in the city centre, cycles outnumber cars and motorists cower in fear behind the wheel. On moving to London with my bike, I was surprised that my status dropped so dramatically.

Anyway my rant is directed against the two cyclists we swerved to avoid last evening. We were driving along an ill-lit London road, well within the speed limit. We encountered not one but two near - invisible cyclists. Invisible not because my husband was not looking, but because they had no rear lights apart from a tiny, and pretty ineffective red flickering light, and they were wearing dark clothing.

Now I know from my youth spent cycling in Cambrige that this is a very dangerous time of the year. The nights are drawing in, and it's so easy to forget how soon it gets dark. So you wing it, cycle home ill lit, promising yourself that you'll fix proper lights/replace batteries next day. In the meantime, you are a serious road hazard to yourself and to others.

Oh, and Bells, Glad you're OK. I used to work in the city and well remember the mad courier cyclists - and as for those with motorbikes!! Being stranded in the middle of a busy road, attempting to cross, with bikes roaring past both sides of you is truly frightening.

I've got two rants that I want to pick up on...
GP's - can't be doing firstly with the Receptionist's need to qualify what you wish to see the doctor about! I take great satisfaction of telling receptions that I have a really bad case of the sh*ts irrespective of what is up with me! Talk about patronising GPS - longish story so here goes - pregnant, went for scan at 8 weeks, was told that the baby had died but had not 'miscarried' in the typical sense of the word so had to go in for a D&C. Came out, everything physically OK but emotionally distraught. Temperature suddenly shot up, massive discharge and bleeding, stomach rock hard and as instructed by the hospital on leaving, they said if I get any of these signs to contact my GP. This was about 10.00pm at night so I rang the GP and explained what had happened to which he said 'Are you an intelligent woman?' I responded that I thought I was to which he said 'Well, you've just had a bloody miscarriage now get on with it and don't ring again'! Temperature continued rising and ultimately, partner phoned the hospital who admitted me for 2 days with a bloody awful infection. I asked one of the nurses there who was thoroughly wonderful what I should do having been through this ridiculous thing with the GP and she said I could lodge a formal complaint but said 'you might want to think about that before you do tho love. GP's stick together and they will very easily be able to say that it was the histrionics of a grieving mother'. Incredible, don't you think. I figured that I would make an appointment with the GP concerned and I let him have it in person - he apologised etc. Bit of a wake up call to the whole system tho.

SECOND RANT - one that forces me to pull the car over and have a go I'm afraid is certain mothers with pushchairs who stand on the kerb waiting to cross the road BUT PUT THE PRAM WITH BABY ET ALL INTO THE ROAD AHEAD OF THEM - go bloody figure about that one!!!!!!!!

As a driver and a has-been cyclist living in London, I can see both sides to this discussion. I think that the major problem in London is the lack of cycle lanes. I don't know how this problem could be solved as so many of our roads are already perilously narrow.
As a cyclist I was knocked off my bike and I have two cyclist friends who have also been knocked off, one was left unconcious in a hit and run on Oxford Street. Alot of cars pass far too close to cyclists (again the problem is exacerbated by the narrow roads) and of course some of them don't see you at all.
However, as a driver, I have also cursed cyclists - nearly all couriers. I know that these guys (sorry to stereotype) are all under huge amounts of time pressure, but they really do seem think that they are beyond the rules and regulations that the rest of us are bound by. They cycle the wrong way up one way streets, think nothing of going up onto the pavements, swerve in and out of traffic and never stop at zebra crossings, lights etc if they can possibly get away with it.
The only other cyclists I have fretted over are children. Who are the insane parents that let their children cycle unsupervised in London?
I was so hoping that our new London Mayor might have been able to think of a solution to some of the above problems - I won't hold my breath!

I was absolutely fine - just shocked and upset. It could have been quite nasty but it was made (almost) worthwhile by the fact that a city gent ripped into the cyclist concerned over what damage he could have caused to a pregnant woman!. In all my years in the city it was the first time I had been shown any sympathy by a grim faced man in a pin striped suit.

I do have sympathy for your comments Slug. As it stands, it seems to me that London streets are not remotely appropriate for cyclists but the network of cycle paths is absolutely woeful. I find it amazing that Ken Livingstone / the government doesn't put cycle paths as a top priority as part of the whole congestion charging issue.

GP's and their receptionists.....

Last week had a killer headache all night. Next morning rang NHS Direct who said I needed to see a GP urgently. Rang my GP for a home visit and had to argue with the receptionist for nearly 1/4 hr (during which I had to stop to throw up!) GP eventually arrived after 4 hrs but was very abrupt with me. Hubby arrived home that evening and insisted on getting GP out again - this time it was a locum on night service. He had me in hospital within the hour - diagnosis viral meningitis!

Funnily enough this morning when I rang GP again for a sick note, receptionist suddenly couldn't do enough for me.....guilt maybe?

The thing that truely enrages me is those damn selfish people who park in designated child parking and disabled spaces.As a mum and full time carer of a disabled child these spaces enable me to fully open the car door makeing it much easier and safer to get my child in and out of my car.It isnt that im lazy and want a space nearer the shop door,i would be happy to have a space further from the shops as long as i could acsses my car safely.I wish people without children or without a disability would consider this when useing a parking space which they should,nt.

Robinw.have you thought about changeing your isp.I use AOL their fairly cheap at £14.99 a month for unlimited acsses and no call charges, you can also get 99 hours free acsses (to be used in the first month).Their help line is free and not impossible to get through to. I,ve had no problems with AOL.Although i am a novice computer user AOL seem to me to be one of the better isp.Hope its of some use to you.

As a cyclist and a car driver the thing that I almost hate most is people cycling without cycling helmets (maybe because one saved me when I went head first over my handlebars going very fast down a mountain side) but the worst is when children are on bikes in carrier seats, wobbling around with no head protection. Do their parents have no sense?????

Ariel, Hello! you are not alone in your rant over designated parking spaces. There was a big discussion about this on another thread - can't remember which one, though.

Snugs, what a frightening story. How will you ever be able to trust your GP's judgement again, let alone the receptionist's? Glad you're getting better.

Tigermoth, good question. Seriously thinking about changing GP now - though at least NHS direct gave good advice for once. Have heard a lot of horror stories about mistakes they've made too.

GP surgeries, totally agree. I think they really should designate one doctor of their walk in service to be for children. I really think it would be better for everyone sat in a waiting room if a screaming child could just get in and see someone. I recently had to wait with my one year old for over 2 hours in the waiting room before being seen. Needlesstosay, she wasn't the perfect patient, cried quite alot (she was ill for Gods sake) and I could have flattened all the horrible people who glared at me when she started up.
Also, this week I had to have a smear and tests because of abnormal bleeding. I had to lie down and have the bloody things with my (very active!) one year perched on my tummy. Sure way to relax!! No-one offered to take her from me for a few minutes. The nurse was only doing her job but the final straw was that she made me bleed, and have been bleeding for 2 days now, like I haven't got enough bleeding going on at the moment as it is!!
Grrrr, hate GP surgeries.

Children and seat belts! Why are there so many young kids rolling around the backs of cars with no belts on? Stupid mothers holding tiny babies in their arms sitting in the front seat. It's a bit like drink driving, people never seem to get the message.

Just another rant or two.People who look at my daughter in her pram and say "is,nt she abit old for a pram"(shes disabled) and i then feel obliged to tell them why,And as for those nosey people who feel its their duty to tell you your child really shouldn,t suck their thumb, it drives me crazy when they think they have a right to voice an opinion about how you raise your children!!!

Drivers who fail to understand that speeding is a 'proper' crime - and complain when they get busted for doing 40 in a 30 zone about the police 'picking on drivers when they should be out catching criminals'. There is NO EXCUSE for speeding, esp. in residential areas.

On the same note, car manufacturers continuing to make cars that can reach over double the maximum legal speed limit.

And also people walking 2 or 3 abreast on pavements who barge past you making no attempt to let you to pass them without having to step on the road - bizarrely, this has happened MORE while I've been pregnant! Work that one out...

Batters, hear hear on the dog poo front! I have programmed the local council's street cleaning tel no in to my phone, and when the footpath to ds's school is a skating rink, I call up the duty officer and tell him I'm phoning to talk dirty again!! He always sends a team over the same day...

Ariel, I am with you on the nosey people front. When I had my 2nd son in Aug last yr, my eldest was 20 mths, and we was in a shop and they were in the double buggy and some women said to my eldest " arn't you a bit big for a dummy", I said that he was only 20 mths he just looks big for his age. having walked away I wondered why I felt I needed to justify his age, more annoyed with myself then.

I was coming out of a shop the other day and was trying to get through the door. I said excuse me to the little girl. She just stood and stared (hey I've got mental health difficulties and skin trouble so it's what I'm here for, to be stared at). I said excuse me again, she took no notice but just kept staring. Her grandad said "come on"; still she stood there staring. I really lost my rag and said to him "I'm afraid she's too busy looking at me to be bothered to move". The man LAUGHED and said "oh never mind dear". Patronising old git. And the brat still didn't move so I've physically moved her.

Loola that is awful, really shocking. When he apologised did he explain why he had behaved in that manner? Not that there is any excuse.

I once rang the police officer in charge of a crime investigation (a relative of mine had been attacked). The copper said he would ring my mum back and keep her informed and he never did according to my mum. So a few months later I tracked this officer down and asked him what was happening. He said it was "only" a mugging and wouldn't be treated the same way as a murder. And he said "what gives you the right to ring me up at work demanding to know about this and why didn't I get my facts straight first". He made me cry, I really burst into tears and didn't stop for hours. It wasn't worth complaining about because coppers stick together and besides I had phoned behind my mum's back and she would have been furious with me.

I was under the impression the police were public servants. Maybe there are correct channels to go through to enquire about this but how was I meant to know? And besides why does someone have to die before the police give it proper attention?

This particular GP is a grumpy bugga at the best of times and he said sometimes 'its really hard for him to deal with so many out of hours calls'. I said that if he bothered to check my records, it was not in my nature to call unnecessarily and that I could not in any way shape or form be considered a nuisance patient. He said that he must have just been having a bad day, like that it made it better for me or that was even my problem. I get fed up with that as well, people who bang on about how their job is so harsh and I hate this part of it and that part of it - I'm afraid that in most jobs there will always be a part of it which is a downside but you shouldn't take it out on others, certainly not patients in this case. My job can get really bloody irritating, aside from the fact that deep down inside I don't want to be doing it anyway but you have to make the most of what you have and I hope that I never take it out on the people that I deal with. If you are going to be a GP surely when you are training you have to take on board the fact that invariably you will have to do your share of the out of hours stuff. If you can't handle that, don't do the job! Perhaps I'm being too simplistic. I reckon you are right tho, Police, GP's, solicitors - all stick together. What annoys me is that what is a seemingly trivial issue to them could be having a monumental impact on someone's life and it shouldn't be treated as a 'irritation'.

As for the little bug-eyed brat, its a toughie to know what to do in that instance. Kids inherently stare. My children have taken to commenting on the size of people they see around which is terrible. My little five year old mentioned that the lady in Boots must have eaten alot of pies! I said that the world would be utterly dull if we were all the same shape, size, colour or whatever and that she was 'not fat, but wonderfully cuddly' and I bet her children love her to cuddle up to. They also don't like people staring at them at all so its useful when they are being particularly overt with their comments to say 'how does it make you feel when people stare at you' and it kind of stops them. If they ask questions about 'why someone is walking like that or in a wheelchair' I am honest with them but as a rule, I don't like my kids to 'rubberneck' at anything really. No need for it whatsoever.

I remember a young cousin coming over from Ireland and she had never seen a black person. When she met my friend Joe her jaw was practically bouncing off the floor and although he took it in good stride, I told her that it was inappropriate afterwards. Once she had gotten used to it, she stopped staring.

Its a bitch that you have to put up with that sort of thing in your life.

Loola, my cousin's 4 year old daughter died because the GP wouldn't come out and the receptionist 'stood' in her way each time she phoned wanting help. When she lost consciousness and the GP finally came, he called an ambulance immediately but she died later in hospital as the infection wasn't treated quickly enough. R.

GP's receptionists at my old surgery - the phone would ring for ages then they would pick it up and immediately put it back down and cut you off. They did it so often I reported them to the local health authority though god knows whether anyone did anything about it. We moved and had to change surgeries as a result thankfully.

Not for nothing have we named the staff at our surgery "The Rejectionists"

To be fair, some of them do their best to be helpful and it isn't their fault there are not enough dr's for our town.