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Posting for help/advice & not acknowledging

96 replies

Melly · 25/09/2003 14:02

Just something that irritates me a bit about some who post here on mumsnet. They start a thread asking for help with a problem, a few or lots of people post with help/suggestions/advice but there is no feedback from them. I know this is a bit petty but when people take the trouble to share their thoughts etc it seems only courteous to acknowledge it in some way....even if it is only to say "I think your advice is pants, but thanks anyway".
I've always been really grateful and amazed by the wealth of help and support by people here on Mumsnet.
Anyway, that's got that off my chest

OP posts:
WSM · 25/09/2003 14:04

I always try and thank those that respond to my 'begging' threads.

M2T · 25/09/2003 14:04

Can you be a bit more specific Melly as I haven't really noticed. Why don't you revive a few threads and that might help??

I know that I sometimes can't get online for days at a time then forget what threads I've started!

Enid · 25/09/2003 14:06

I'm sure I've done this - post, read answers, go away for a few days then completely forget about it. Anyway, if I have ever offended anyone I'm sorry and all your advice was brill, honest!

CountessDracula · 25/09/2003 14:07

Must say Melly I haven't noticed that either. People do usually acknowledge IMO.

LIZS · 25/09/2003 14:09

melly,

I know what you mean. It is nice to have some sort of closure. Often people will say what happened when the same query comes up again but it might be really helpful to know what worked, whether the outing was successful etc at the time.

Northerner · 25/09/2003 14:12

I have always noticed that even if the original poster is unable to post and thank everyone for their replies, their original post is always written in a very polite manner, Thanks in advance and all that.

I'll expect a reply from you now Melly. Graciously thanking me for my input

fio2 · 25/09/2003 14:15

I have noticed it sometimes but its easy to forget. Im sure Ive forgotten at some stage or another. Or maybe if someone is new they dont know they have to reply again - Im laughing here

Moomin · 25/09/2003 14:16

I'm going to say thanks to Melly and probably sound very spoilt and petulent when I explain why I'm doing so. BUT, I started a post on pregnancy symptoms the other week and had some great feedback to begin with. However, when the thread had gone off at a bit of a tangent (which often happens, and I totally understand) and then I posted to say that I wasn't pg after all, which I was upset about, I didn't get any acknowledgement at all and the thread carried on, on the other tangent. I didn't weep and wail about not being pg; in fact I tried to be lighthearted about it, but I think those of us who are ttc know how disappointing it is when another month goes by unsuccessfully. As I said before, I probably sound like I'm moaning "me me me" but that's not what's intended. And it seems silly getting upset about a cyber-discussion, but Mumsnet has been a real help to me previously and I was a bit put out this time.

FairyMum · 25/09/2003 14:20

I haven't really noticed that. One thing which irritates me though, is when people ask our opinion on something and then get offended if they are told something they don't like......

beetroot · 25/09/2003 14:22

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fio2 · 25/09/2003 14:22

Fairymum thats happened to me aswell you feel like replying back well F-off then

Moomin hope it all goes well for you this month

CountessDracula · 25/09/2003 14:23

Moomin, sorry to hear that you aren't pg. I looked at that thread (I remember it) and you didn't actually say that you weren't, you said no AF but pains, in fact I was thinking that maybe you were.... Didn't want to bring it up again in case tho as I remember what a nightmare it was.

Better luck next time love ((()))

beetroot · 25/09/2003 14:24

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beetroot · 25/09/2003 14:24

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Chinchilla · 25/09/2003 14:27

Auntie Flo (Period)

bossykate · 25/09/2003 14:55

melly, actually i agree, i have felt a bit huffy about this before, especially if i have gone to a lot of trouble to post an extensive reply. i always try and remember to come back and thank people if they have replied to me (don't have an infallible memory post ds though so perhaps i haven't always done so).

fm - yes, agree. i've had a couple of snitty responses in my time from people where i clearly haven't told them what they wanted to hear.

anyway, i try not to dwell on this stuff, when i find myself getting huffy/irritable it's a sign i really should get out more!

Eeek · 25/09/2003 15:00

ooh - paranoia coming on: was it me? i hope i've always said thanks for the advice given so generously, if i haven't i should have!

sunchowder · 25/09/2003 15:05

Melly, I do identify with what you are saying as in the little time I have been part of Mumsnet, I feel at times that something I have contributed might not have been acknowledged. I think I might have gone way wrong for posting an animated joke on the Poo thread, but everyone just ignored it anyway and went on talking about the green and orange swirl poo without missing a beat. (and I was thinking to myself...are they thinking that gross American girl should stop posting on our thread I worry so much about being accepted and understood and not wanting to offend anyone etc. Like not knowing the etiquette and "barging" in on a thread, or feeling like I am barging in -- I guess underneath it all I feel that no post is wasted, even if it is not acknowledged the way that I wanted it to be. Even if I do feel upset, I try to think that anyway. Moomin, I do hope something wonderful happens in the conception department for you too. I also wasn't clear that you had gotten your period or Uncle Milty or something as you call it. I feel like I am just getting to know everyone and I also don't want to pester and ask because I don't feel close enough. So listen...do you think we should encourage Mums to post on an acknowledgement type of thread if they are upset or put off by anything so that we can clear it up right away ??

sobernow · 25/09/2003 15:06

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sobernow · 25/09/2003 15:07

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easy · 25/09/2003 15:07

I always try and respond to advice etc, and regularly do a search for postings in my name to remind me what I've contributed to.

But sometimes I suspect people don't come back because a situation hasn't actually been resolved, and they don't have anything to say about it, particularly in relationships threads.

I also think sometimes that people don't want to hear any more about my problems, everyone has enough probs of their own....

I do occasionally get a bit paranoid about my ability to kill a thread tho'

You lot will probably not answer this, just to prove my point

sobernow · 25/09/2003 15:13

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sobernow · 25/09/2003 15:14

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easy · 25/09/2003 15:14
Smile
M2T · 25/09/2003 15:15

lol!

Thread dead...
Easy strikes again.