Posting for help/advice & not acknowledging

[Melly]

Just something that irritates me a bit about some who post here on mumsnet. They start a thread asking for help with a problem, a few or lots of people post with help/suggestions/advice but there is no feedback from them. I know this is a bit petty but when people take the trouble to share their thoughts etc it seems only courteous to acknowledge it in some way....even if it is only to say "I think your advice is pants, but thanks anyway".
I've always been really grateful and amazed by the wealth of help and support by people here on Mumsnet.
Anyway, that's got that off my chest

I've just spent a little while going back and tying off any loose threads I've left! Apologies to any I've missed.

I'm with bobsmum on the not wanting to say thanks too soon in case people think you've got what you wanted and are put off posting again.

When I started a Claims to Fame thread the other day and Janh said, in the nicest possible way, that it had been done before - and gave a link, which I thought was v. sweet

I must admit that I tend to steer clear of the Old Chestnuts (breast v. bottle, WPs v. SAHMs, MMR, disposable v. cloth, smacking v. not, etc. etc.) And I'm a relative newbie to MN (though have been there, done that on another parenting site for years - abandoned now in favour of MN!)

These discussions tend to go round and round in circles, getting more heated, no-one changes their views (which is fair enough, people feel very strongly about their children and issues relating to them), things can get very personal..and I always feel sorry for the poor sod who may have just posted asking for a bit of impartial advice in the first place and then all hell breaks loose.

Though having said that I do sometimes feel like sticking my oar in when I have my Mrs. Merton head on ("let's have a heated debate.."

I think the subjects mentioned by marthamoo are normally subjects very popular on these kinds of mumsnet. They are typically subjects that all mums worry about, but can be difficult to discuss with your friends/family. I was previoulsy on another mumsy website and have been through the same discussions with other people. After a year on this site I started to feel like I had said everything before too. Now I have changed to Mumsnet with different people with different views and I find it fun to discuss the same topics again.
I also don't think it's always true that noone change their minds about a subject. The idea of a debate isn't to get everyone to agree, but to share views. I have certainly picked up a lot from reading other peoples opinions and views on Mumsnet. I might stick to my gun in the thread, but I am sure I learn from it too. For example, I remember one of the first threads I contributed to about smacking. I am a firm anti-smacker, but I did take on some of the views of the smackers and I think I moderated myself a little bit after reading the thread.

Sorry, just read through my post and relaised how horrible it looks when you call someone a smacker.....Will try to find a better word next time I am in a smack/not-to-smack debate,)

I'm feeling guilty about the not thanking - I'm sure I have done that. But I know that I always read advice and feel good, and I assume that other people do the same, so to an extent I assume that I am thanked, even if the original poster doesn't explicitly say it.

On the issue of going over stuff again, you have to, surely. There is so much going on here, that I tend to only read stuff that I have experience of or am currently going through, I just don't have the time. So I've not read any MMR threads, but in four months time, I'm going to want one!

hi fm, may i suggest you don't choose "slapper"...

ha ha bk! Fairymum, thanks for the kind comment, sorry I was snippy earlier. Wasn't having a good day at the time

I think I'm an old time Netter but this is really sad-THANK YOU to everyone who's ever replied to me, keep on looking to anyone who hasn't and why, oh why can't I do a "smiley"!!! I know how to do it (well, I loook at the instructions) but all I get is this !! HELP!!

LOL

Not sure if I've thanked or not...but have changed my views. Used to think anyone who chose vaginal birth/believed in God/smacked was a psychopath or deranged. Now realise this is not necessarily the case Honest!

That was mostly a joke, I hope you realise. PLEASE don't get offended (pleading grin)

Gosh that's a relief Aloha
I am no psychopath !!!

Being a new Mumsnetter, I also noticed this, but it didn't really offend me a bit as I was directed to other threads for the information. The only reason I have ever said that I believe I have said this before is because I was concerned about boring the crap out of everyone with my personal history! Oh God, there's the American again, 3 kids, 46, blah, blah, blah, so full of herself! Sorry if I ever offending with this. I love posting and being posted to and I love learning about new things and all of you and your experiences. On to a hugfest!

Hugfest right back atcha, Sunchowder - I think you're lovely

Hugfest right back atcha, Sunchowder - I think you're lovely

Oh bother!

Though have to admit your name always makes me think of soup with sweetcorn in it...don't know why

Wide smile at that, aloha! I think a fair few of us join mumsnet in a spirit of bolshie argumentative zeal (that's a compliment by the way) and go through a tolerance arc when we start to like the very bananaheads who espouse our most hated parenting practices. I certainly did. I'm quite sickeningly tolerant of all you evil, smacking, Ford following, private school educating peeps these days. Sigh... I must be getting old.

Not old enough to be polite though, obviously, since I've been a "disappearing without so much as a thank you" type on occasion too, I'm afraid. I felt a definite twinge of shame on reading Melly's post. But what can I say? I love you all and appreciate your advice always but sometimes real life intervenes and cyberlife gets left behind for a while... and, worryingly, it sometimes feels like it happens the other way round too!

I sometimes feel that I'm a thread killer, particularly when I've given a personal reply and it goes 'quiet over there' but it's usually when I'm feeling 'sensitive'. I always try to acknowledge help given when I've asked for it.

I do feel slighted by a couple of indivduals though, it's probably REALLY petty of me but I've given a number of researched answers to them on related topics and never had an acknowledgement at all.

OK I should have left the playground behind me by now, but..

If I've ever done that to my lovely, run for lifing, no smoking, superstario Twink who made me laugh when my son serially refused to eat broken fried eggs, I am really, really sorry.

OMG. Have just come on and seen this. Now I'm wracked with a huge guilt complex. It reminded me that I did this the other week. Sorry everyone who replied to my minor rant about DH. I had read quite a few of your replies when he came home and proceeded to hog the pc for the rest of the day, and after. Then I forgot about it.
I don't get the chance to post much during the day - not like all you mums at work so unless I plough the 'last day/week' I miss a lot of threads, (including my own!).
Please forgive this transgression (sheepish grin). I'll go and stand in the corner now.

Bossanover,

I wouldn't loose sleep about it! - I'm not.... (she says defiantly)