Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

She reprimanded MY son in MY house!!

104 replies

pfer · 02/11/2005 21:28

DS1's mate was over with his mum. DS wanted to go outside to play (it was raining and friends mum didn't want to get her angel dirty) and before I could say anything she'd turned to him and said "No, you are not playing outside". Godsmacked. It's MY son and MY home, surely it's up to me to say what he can and can't do? .

(I let him go outside anyway and her DS followed shortly after - both got filthy (snort with laughter) .

OP posts:
starlover · 02/11/2005 21:32

lol at letting him out! i would have done the same!

gigglinggoblin · 02/11/2005 21:34

it might have been automatic. i was out trick or treating with ds1 & 2 and we got caught up with a group of kids who had no adult with them - found myself telling them to say thankyou and they did it! would never have done it if i had thought about it, would be too scared lol. sometimes you just say things without thinking. well done for letting them out tho

Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 21:35

they got in the sandpit - lid had been off for weeks so it was well manky had to clean every floor in the house after - was worth it to see her face though

OP posts:
starshaker · 02/11/2005 21:37

did she say anything about it

Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 21:39

starshaker, no, she just looked, how can I put it, uummmmmm, put out but in deeper way. Like she'd been undermined, but she didn't have to let her DS out did she? Mine's always outside getting mucky, he washes clean and so does the house so I don't mind. They were going straight home after so I didn't really see what was all that wrong.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 02/11/2005 21:41

he's a kid, she's an adult why shouldn't she tell him something like not to play outside in the rain in november

unless she shouted at him I think you need to chill

Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 21:41

twiglett - because he's MY kid, not her's that's why.

OP posts:
starlover · 02/11/2005 21:41

because he isn't HER kid?

Twiglett · 02/11/2005 21:42

her kid, your kid who cares ... common sense should prevail .. hate these don't you dare talk to my angel attitudes

Katemum · 02/11/2005 21:44

But where is the common sense in a visitor telling pfer's son he couldn't go out in his own garden?

Flum · 02/11/2005 21:44

I tell other peoples kids off. They can always over rule me if they feel strongly about it as you did.

But kids are kids and adults are adults. We can't help it.

Twiglett · 02/11/2005 21:46

dunno .. rain, november .. wouldn't bother me personally but I also think we should teach our children respect for adults not to completely ignore them and then take pleasure in that disobedience

friends tell my kids to do things / not to do things that wouldn't bother me but I suck up any negative response because I think its more important that my kids show respect for older people

again unless she shouted at him I don't see an issue

Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 21:46

Twiglett, OK, I'll come to your house and have a go at your kids, tell them they can't do something that they normally do everyday because I don't want them to and I'm not relation, don't even know them that well. Would that be OK with you? You can say it would but I think if it came to it, it wouldn't be. Be honest.

As a reasonable parent I give my kids leeway, let them be kids and be happy without imposing too many regulations on them. Happy, healthy, polite that's all I ask for at this age and that's what I've got.

Would never dream of telling someone elses kid what to do infront of their parent - it's undermining you in your own home and in my opinion, obviously not your and you'll let anyone say whatever they like to your kids that's fine, it's not the done thing.

OP posts:
starlover · 02/11/2005 21:47

so if you were at someone's house and their kid asked if he could go outside you would say no????

she wasn't telling him off for being naughty... she was telling him he wasn't allowed to do something!

sorry but that isn't on... it isn't up to her to decide if her son's friend can go outside at his own house!

spidermama · 02/11/2005 21:48

I would be pretty fuming too pfer. If she was concerned about her son going out she should have told him not to. She had absolutely no business telling your son what he was allowed to do in your house without even consulting you.

Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 21:49

starlover, thanks. Thought I was going mad there, letting other people tell my kids they can't play.......what next. Letting them put them over their knee and spank them it they get too rowdy? Yeah right..

OP posts:
MamaMaiasaura · 02/11/2005 21:49

do you think maybe she said it to your son automatically as she would have said to her son. I somnetimes find myself automatically answering sometimes (think have pre-programmed responses now). For example ds wanted to crawls through the trees at school today on way out. I said no. Normally say yes. It was p'ing down with rain, didnt fancy having to put load of washing on and sort out clean trousers for tomorrow (already just clean on today for school pohots and managed to last WHOLE day! ) and I had a real bugger of a day and didnt want the faff of bathing him tongiht.. (what a bad mummy am I). Maybe your sons friends mum instead of loking peeved was embarrassed at automatically answering and also felt uncomfortable that she couldnt really say to her son not to play with his friend he had come to play with, and alos felt that her son might have lost respect in what she says too iykwim. Sorry to be devils advocate.

Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 21:49

last post to spidermama too....

OP posts:
wheresmyfroggy · 02/11/2005 21:49

I agree with twiglet about being able to tell other children off if thier behaviour is unacceptable (I would expect adult frtiends/family of mine to reprimand my dd to some degree if she deserved it and dw or i weren't there to do it ourselves)
But asking to play outside is not that sort of behaviour and Pfer was present at the time so if it was then it was for her to decide if a telling of was needed or not!

Twiglett · 02/11/2005 21:50

totally agree with awen

still think the attitude that you can't talk to other people's kids sucks .. but that's my opinion and doesn't need to bother any of you

wheresmyfroggy · 02/11/2005 21:51

If anyone can understand my post then they deserve a medal

Prob the most awkward, convoluted sentence ever constructed

NotQuiteChristmasSkribble · 02/11/2005 21:52

Sorry but I have to agree if it's a commen sense thing, sometimes its automatic to say something to all kids present. She probably just thought that playing out in the rain was a good idea. I will stop my kids doing something if I know their friend isn't allowed to do it, its not fair to the other kid and not fair to undermine each other really.

I do see it from your point of veiw too yes its your kid and you would allow him out. Perhaps a bit more diplomacy on both sides. If I was her I would have said "Well its a bit wet and I don't really want Didums playing outside, shall we play something inside?"

starlover · 02/11/2005 21:53

i think it was very well put!

twiglett no-one is saying that adults can't speak to kids... but telling a child that they aren't allowed to do something in front of their mum at their own house... well... sorry but i think that's a bit odd to say the least

Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 21:53

Awen, maybe, but DS already had his wellies on and was half way out of the door - door is generally left open as both kids prefer to be running obout on the lawn than bein stuck inside so it's a natural thing for him to do. Even if it was an automatic response I can honestly say (and really mean it) that I always THINK before I say something to someone else's kid, even when they are here on a play date so as not to give them mixed messages on what they can and can't do in my house.

OP posts:
wheresmyfroggy · 02/11/2005 21:53

Cheers starlover (you don't have to humour me )