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Original poster

She reprimanded MY son in MY house!!

104 replies

pfer · 02/11/2005 21:28

DS1's mate was over with his mum. DS wanted to go outside to play (it was raining and friends mum didn't want to get her angel dirty) and before I could say anything she'd turned to him and said "No, you are not playing outside". Godsmacked. It's MY son and MY home, surely it's up to me to say what he can and can't do? .

(I let him go outside anyway and her DS followed shortly after - both got filthy (snort with laughter) .

OP posts:
cod · 02/11/2005 22:05

Message withdrawn

colditz · 02/11/2005 22:06

I would have not got wound up, but just immediately said "Yes he can."

if she doesn't want her kid going outside into the garden, that's her lookout. but when you are at somebody else's house, with the adult of the house fully present and aware, you cannot just lay down your own rules. You have the option to leave if you don't like it.

Twiglett · 02/11/2005 22:06

bollocks froggy

pfer didn't 'ask' anything she came on to rant about what she perceived as totally unacceptable behaviour on the part of another parent

I think she's just surprised some people don't agree with her, or have the temerity to actually think she's in the wrong ... that's what discussion boards are about though .. not everyone agreeing

anyway I'm off for my midnight frolic naked around the garden .. dont' anyone stop me [

crystaltips · 02/11/2005 22:06

been away for a while - what does parp mean ???

Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 22:06

Awen-love the word 'scrote' use it a lot when referring to DH myself....
Anyway, like I said, I don't tell her kid what to do so as far as I can tell she can't tell mine what to do. It's always been OK this far in their friendship for outside playing no matter the weather so why would I think it'd be any different today - she'd already said they were going straight home. If they'd been going out afterwards I wouldn't have let DS out either so her DS didn't get dirty. It just came out of the blue. Anyway, if I'm honest it wasn't so much as what she said as the tone she used. DS stopped in his tracks and looked quite upset, not accepting, but upset.

OP posts:
wheresmyfroggy · 02/11/2005 22:08

took a while to decipher that one

Whatever your opinion (I think your first post was fine as it was a relevant opinion) parp and all that nonsense is just rude when it's a serious thread

Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 22:10

Bottom Line - My house, My kid, My rules.

If she didn't want him going outside getting dirty like they usually do she should have said when he came round, not waited till they could smell the fresh air and almost feel the breeze in their faces (and the rain down the wellies).

So I'm in the right and if you don't agree I really don't care. Coz you're wrong

OP posts:
Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 22:12

when I say My rules I mean for my kid - not hers.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 02/11/2005 22:13

Nope, you're wrong

Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 22:13

nay lass you are

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crystaltips · 02/11/2005 22:13

goodness wind-your-neck-in

If you are so right - why post??? .... you cannot expect everyone to agree with you - surely

aloha · 02/11/2005 22:15

I have to say, I'd be rather taken aback if someone told my ds he couldn't do something normal and harmless in his own home in front of me. Mind you, one of my - childless - friends tends to do this a lot - 'no darling, you can't have a chocolate biscuit'!! - but I tend to assume it's because she's desperate for children and likes playing mummy.
In this specific case, I am pretty sure that she didn't want her child to play in the rain and get filthy (nothing wrong with that btw IMO) and thus knew the only way to prevent it was to say no to your child. I suspect it was an automatic reaction. Somewhat presumptious IMO but it might have been more diplomatic to say, 'I know, let's get your train set out' (or whatever) and even, 'You can play outside when X has gone home/after tea'

harpsichordcarrier · 02/11/2005 22:15

god I do this kind of thing all the time. so do my friends.
I am probably annoying other mothers all the time.
though it doesn't really bother me tbh..
{crystaltips parp means that you should stop yourself from posting because it is a subject that you will lose your temper and get irrational about}

Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 22:16

crystaltips - if everyone agreed with everyone else they'd all be very boring threads and no-one would post anything.

just venting a little frustration that's all.

And for your information my neck is justing coming in the front door and should be back in place very shortly. Can't say the nose will be back in joint as quickly though

OP posts:
Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 22:17

crystaltips - was wondering about parp myself, cleared up now though.

OP posts:
crystaltips · 02/11/2005 22:17

aloha ... you have so much more diploamcy than me ....
note to self - say IMO alot and mayb I can getaway with my crass remarks

Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 22:19

same for self - ctips. have been known to upset unintentionally a few times. now I know - parp and get off the thread...oh yes and IMO a lot..got it now. (I'm still right though).

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Original poster
pfer · 02/11/2005 22:20

well, you wonderful ladies, since DS2 got me up at 3.45am this morn and a little on the sleepy side so am off to be so i can pretend to be asleep before DH comes up expectantly, Goodnight one and all....

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spanner180271 · 02/11/2005 22:24

my friend came round and my kids were playing on their motorised tractor. when her dd went to get on it she shouted at her to get off as she would bite her lip or something and end up in hospital. she looked at me to back her up and i did nothing so she turfed her child off the tractor and told my dd to put it away.
of course they did nothing of the sort...........
i think you did the right thing -your house - you dont have to live by her rules.

ebbie22 · 02/11/2005 22:34

I can see where you are coming from...
I would be annoyed with df if she went behind my back and said to dd that no she couldnt do something in my own house..
Unless she thought she was doing the right thing,i believe your own kids[in general]listern to other parents more than there own[it kinda shocks them a bit]...
BUT i can also see the otherside as i do tell other kids off if they are being naughty/not listerning and there parents just sit and watch without saying a word,only usually in my own home but i have been known to speak withou thinking it thru,but thats a completly different thread...lol

Mojomummy · 02/11/2005 22:52

....why didn't you just ask the mum why your son couldn't play outside ? She may have said because I don't want my DS going outside & everything would have been much easier

skinnycow · 02/11/2005 22:57

im sure she didnt have a problem with your son going out to play but very likely she had a problem with her son going out and knowing yours was going it would make it harder to stop hers. How old are they?

MamaMaiasaura · 02/11/2005 23:09

lost - thanks for warning cod - only just read it though..

MamaMaiasaura · 02/11/2005 23:10

this still rolling on -- just let me read up

Ulysees · 02/11/2005 23:13

Oh no spanner, your mate sounds a bit OTT. I have a friend who says what she's thinking all the time and her kids are as hyper as her, total puts the s....s up em!

So pfer, she isn't your mate? Wouldn't be over keen on an acquaintance going on like this. My mates and I reprimand each others kids a fair bit. I mostly do it with kids who's parents let them run riot.

How old is ds1? could you have his mate over without mum in future if she gets on your nerves? Or is she ok otherwise?