Help, ugently need help to look after me and my son

[easy]

I am currently in a wheelchair, recovering from a badly broken leg, which could take 3 - 4 more months.

I have a husband who works full time, and a ds (just 4 years), who attends nursery part time.

I've been employing a mother's help, but she returns to university next week. I had lined up someone to start next week. she has just rung me to say SHE HAS BROKEN HER LEG !!!.

Does anyone know someone who could come to help us, part time. This could suit another SAHM with small child, who could come with her. Hours can be arranged to suit, around my ds's playschool/nursery. I can pay about £5.00 per hour.

I'm in north Nottinghamshire.

Please rack your brains, I'm desperate. dh's employers have been very patient, but he can't take any more time off. My only alternative is to put ds in foster care, and I can't do that.

Oh no! Sorry to hear you predicament - what a nightmare. Sorry the only person I know anywhere near lives in Derby.

PS - Did your DS get his parcel from me yet?

Local NCT branch?

Easy, I'm so sorry to hear this. I have just been through the exact same thing, broke my leg in January and just could not look after my ds (who is 2). He goes to a registered childminder. She had him earlier in the morning and my dh went in a little later than usual so he could drop him off, then childminder was good enough to bring him home. He then slept till my daughters got home from school. It was hard on the non-childminder days, I then had to have a friend to come and stay or my brother, who was absolutely marvellous.

I wish I lived nearer, I would gladly help you if I did, since it is all too fresh in my mind how impossible it is.

If I think of anything to suggest that might help I will post again. I wish you all the best.

what about social services, they may be able to put you in touch with the local home help scheme.
I had a home help through social srvices after a major op.

Have you tried asking your Health Visitor? - she may know of a mum who can help. What about the local college - others have suggested before that people on childcare courses are often looking to make a bit of money babysitting etc.
I'll keep thinking..., although if someone not on mumsnet asked me this, I'd suggest they came on here and made an appeal - so you've probably done the best thing possible!

TC yes, thanx. We e-mailed thankyou direct, but I guess you changed your address after our debarcle (come to think of it, our e-mail to you didn't bounce).

why don't you try ringing the Citizens Advice Bereau too ......... don't know if it's their type of thing but..........i'm sure Social Services would be able to offer some help rather than put your son in Foster Care....surely??

Doormat

I got in touch with social services when I first came out of hospital (back in July). their first suggestion was to put ds in fostercare (NO, NO, NO). and after that they awarded money to pay for my personal care, which is how I can afford £5 per hour. But I can't use that money to pay for nursery or childminder fees, as it's supposed to be for someone coming in to care for me (they just happen to look after ds too). Otherwise I'd reluctantly put ds into nursery for full days, but just can't afford to.

Thanks for the suggestion.

Similarly I'm having trouble re nanny agencies, cos the agency fees are just too expensive.

I've been in touch with the local college, waiting for someone to ring me back.

Thanks Janstar, I appreciate the thought.

Doormat

I got in touch with social services when I first came out of hospital (back in July). their first suggestion was to put ds in fostercare (NO, NO, NO). and after that they awarded money to pay for my personal care, which is how I can afford £5 per hour. But I can't use that money to pay for nursery or childminder fees, as it's supposed to be for someone coming in to care for me (they just happen to look after ds too). Otherwise I'd reluctantly put ds into nursery for full days, but just can't afford to.

Thanks for the suggestion.

Similarly I'm having trouble re nanny agencies, cos the agency fees are just too expensive.

I've been in touch with the local college, waiting for someone to ring me back.

Thanks Janstar, I appreciate the thought.

Doormat

I got in touch with social services when I first came out of hospital (back in July). their first suggestion was to put ds in fostercare (NO, NO, NO). and after that they awarded money to pay for my personal care, which is how I can afford £5 per hour. But I can't use that money to pay for nursery or childminder fees, as it's supposed to be for someone coming in to care for me (they just happen to look after ds too). Otherwise I'd reluctantly put ds into nursery for full days, but just can't afford to.

Thanks for the suggestion.

Similarly I'm having trouble re nanny agencies, cos the agency fees are just too expensive.

I've been in touch with the local college, waiting for someone to ring me back.

Thanks Janstar, I appreciate the thought.

oooops!!

You can tell I'm getting flustered

BTW ThomCat, Derby's not far away, could she help ???

sorry desperation creeping in

Easy, not sure if you should go back to Social Services, there have been times when I haven't been able to look after DD fully and Social Services have nurserys they run that are specifically for families in need, they are open 8am to 6pm and they took kids from 3 months. DD went from 9am to 3pm 3 days a week, though I could have had more and there was nothing to pay (though this does depend on circumstances). Is there any thing like that round where you are?

Hope you sort something out soon.

I'm discovering how strange social services is. They are, of course, organised regionally, and the provisions seem to vary widely from district to district.

Anyway, I'd prefer to have ds at home for the half days we have had so far. I'm trying not to disrupt him any more than the problems have done so far.

Take a look at www.netmums.com\netmums , they have sites in Charnwood, Chesterfield, East Staffs, Mansfield and North West Leics. Are any of those near you? You can post a query on the noticeboard or ask the local editor for help. Also contact HomeStart who might be able to get you an emergency volunteer. Netmums also have a community groups section, see if there is any groups on there who can help.

Hope you find something!

That link didn't work did it? I'll try again here

easy, God i can't beleive Social Services thats awful! I thought it was about the welfare of the child first and foremost and surely the money paid to foster parents could go to home help.......feel very angry on your behalf..........wish i could help

Rhubarb, thanx, I've just been and posted on there.

Angeliz

Yes I was stunningly angry when I was told to put ds in fostercare.

We decided that dh would quit work before we'd do that, although that really wouldn't have been practical as the house would have to be sold, etc etc etc.

Social services view of what is in the interests of the child seems very strange to me

exactly, they always try to help parents whose kids have been in care to be re-united and often place kids back with parents when in my opinion shouldn't,(i used to work in residential childcare) and yet you are a mother actively seeking help and they want to take him out of the home!!I know i'm stating the obvious but i'm Gobsmacked and i REALLY hope you sort something out

Easy - email me and let me know more of what you'd need, just a bit more info so I can pass it on to her and I'll ring her. She is a SAHM with 2 young girls at school so may be able to help???
Once I've seen whether she's able to help I can give you each ohter numbers.

Not that this helps but when I was due to have ds I explained that if I hadn't had him soon to the midwife (I'd gone over by a week at that point) that I wouldn't be able to have him for another 2 weeks as dp would be out of the country on business.

The midwife said that I shouldn't worry about it as social services would be able to put her in foster care until I got out of hospital!

I was horrified and cried for days about it - then I got induced. No one appologised for this undue stress, but I know how you feel, it's such a horrible thing to have put infront of you.

You can come and stay with us for a while if you like. It's a bit crazy here but we call it home, although we don't have much room, you'd still be welcome, anythings better than your ds going into foster care!

Jenie, how absolutely dreadful. How did you keep your sanity?

um, thanx for the offer of accom. Even if you were serious (I know you're not) not really practical. I am currently sleeping in the dining room as I can't do stairs right now, and the combination of me in my current somewhat depressed state (this has gone on sooooooo long), and an over-exhuberant ds would drive you to the mad-house.

ta tho. love

easy - my Mum works in Newstead and knows lots of community groups sort of thing - I'm sure she ciould put out some feelers for you. If you want me to ask her send me an e-mail through Mumsnet telling me where you are (majority of the SAHM she'll know will probably have transport issues)