Help, ugently need help to look after me and my son

[easy]

I am currently in a wheelchair, recovering from a badly broken leg, which could take 3 - 4 more months.

I have a husband who works full time, and a ds (just 4 years), who attends nursery part time.

I've been employing a mother's help, but she returns to university next week. I had lined up someone to start next week. she has just rung me to say SHE HAS BROKEN HER LEG !!!.

Does anyone know someone who could come to help us, part time. This could suit another SAHM with small child, who could come with her. Hours can be arranged to suit, around my ds's playschool/nursery. I can pay about £5.00 per hour.

I'm in north Nottinghamshire.

Please rack your brains, I'm desperate. dh's employers have been very patient, but he can't take any more time off. My only alternative is to put ds in foster care, and I can't do that.

hey hels, like the idea of a childcard, does that mean you get everything discounted?

Probably only things like are no good or you don't need like Nixwax jackets!!!

What's a NixWax jacket? Is it like a Barbour (feel a snob break coming on).

sorry - not been on line since Tues. Yes a bit like a barbour but without as much smell. It's like a waterproofing 'stuff'. I nearly won one but they are really for serious walkers (I walk to my car occassionally when there is no alternative). Hope my mate can help you and hope you are a bit happier today

Hi hels, yep I'm feeling a bit more positive today. Hope to see Cassie tomorrow, but it seems a long way for her to travel.

Can I just renew this message, in the vain hope that someone whose just back from holiday might be able to help? Might have found someone to help some of the time, but still need a couple of morning's cover.

message withdrawn

Hi, easy, I can't stop thinking about your predicament, since I too was unable to walk for 3 months earlier this year. I am too far away to come and be with you, but is there anything else I can help with? Since I have just been through the broken leg thing, I might at least be able to see if I can make helpful suggestions of some kind. How are you spending your time? How are you coping with ordinary daily life? The kind of thing I found difficult was stuff like washing properly, making a hot drink and transporting it into another room, reaching items that had fallen on the floor. All sorts of things you normally take for granted.

If you want to chat, let me know.

Hi Janstar, thanks for your thoughts love.
The practical stuff we sort of have a handle on by now, it feels like we've had months of practice.

You're right, It's impossible to transport a drink from room to room, so if I bother to make a cup of tea (quite a palarva, about 10 up and downs from the wheelchair to reach stuff which has to be kept safe from a 4 year-old), I just sit in the kitchen to drink it.
Washing was a real bind, just wiping round with a damp flannel for weeks, I never felt clean. However I badgered the doctor till he agreed I could sit in the shower stall with my brace off, and shower, which we do 2 or 3 times a week. It takes us both, cos dh has to get me in and out, and reach everything for me, but at least I feel CLEAN at the end.

My main problem is really that DS wants to play with things on the floor, and I can't join in. We bought him a play-table so we can do jigsaws or drawing together, but he wants to put his trainset together, or have a teddies picnic, so I'm not a lot of use for that, which upsets me.

and I get so depressed at being dependant. I've always had a slight disability, but worked hard to be 110% independant. Now I seem to have to ask for everything, from a cup of tea, to help getting out of bed for the loo in the morning. That and not being able to get out of door during the week is really getting me down.

I'm sorry, I seem to have had a really down week.

I used to hate having to ask people to help me - I'm not very good at that and I always feel indebted to them afterwards. Actually I was surprised at how few people offered to help - people I would have helped if the roles had been reversed. A couple of really good people saw me through though.

Because washing was so difficult, I often used to clean my feet with baby wipes. To take a cold drink into the sitting room, I used to take the bottle of coke or water in one pocket and a glass in the other. And I used to hang carrier bags from my crutches.

What do you do with the time. I fear I wasted a lot of the time; I now wish I had done something useful like studying. Unfortunately I was only told bit by bit how long it was going to take to recover. I did learn cross stitch, and made lots of pieces I could use as gifts for special occasions. I certainly caught up on rubbish TV.

Easy, I have a special thing called a protectacast that I used when I broke my leg skiing. It is like a huge leg shaped balloon and you put it on and then a little hand pump takes the air out and creates a seal at the top of your thigh. I had many a bath and shower with this on, I could lend it to you or if you wanted to the people to order it from are protectacast and they delivery really quickly. I paid a lot more for mine than they are now!

Thanks alibubbles, for the offer. I'm not in a cast tho, I'm in a Derby Brace, which has a band around my waist, steel strut attaching to my thigh and down to the ankle. so it's pretty restrictive but at least I can take it off now for sleeping (if I sleep on my back) and to have a sitting down shower.

Isn't it an eye-opener when something like this happens? I used to think if people broke a leg they would go to hospital and have it reset, then get around quite easily with their crutches while it mended. In the event I spent a week in hospital unable to keep food down cos of the morphine, three months not allowed to put weight on my foot, three operations, and eight months later still have almost constant pain. So now I know. But I think many of my friends and family don't judging by their reaction to it.

Did you try Homestart? Volunteers only visit once a week but they can give you 2 volunteers. That would cover your 2 mornings.
Childminders can now care for your children in there own home so you try that.
sorry if I'm repaeting other ideas.
good luck.

Janstar, Goodness, what did you do to it?

Mine was a complication from a hip replacement. I'd always had funny hips, and had metal plates put in my thigh when I was 2. When they replaced my hip joint in March they took out part of one of the plates, leaving a screw hole across the femur. When I started walking again in June, the femur broke at the weak point (just walking across the bedroom one morning). To effect a fix, they had to take out all the old metal (which has been in there for 40 years, and had lots of bone growing around it)and put new plates and wire in, and cos it was so extensive, it's taking a long time to heal. I've been promised I will walk on it again, but on some days I get a bit sceptical.

I'm sorry you still get pain from yours. Have you tried Magnet therapy? It's supposed to help with healing of the bone and muscles, and seems worth a try. David Beckham used it on his metatarsels.

I live on Cocacola and sandwiches in the afternoons when I'm on my own, as things I can transport from kitchen to living room. I pass my time on Mumsnet (lots recently) and Like you, I've taken up cross stitch, but I don't get particularly worked up about it. I reckon since March I've had time to do a Bayeaux tapestry (spelling?), but I'm only half way thru' a country cottage.
I read the papers alot, and have got thru' the stage when I watch any rubbish on tv (we have cable, so lots of channels, universally cr*p in the daytime, unbelievably so). I think this experience has made me much more discerning in my viewing.

I am intending to try to requalify as a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer, which was what I was 5 years ago before DS was born. It will take about 10 technical exams. But I seem to have poor concentration right now, and need a kick up the backside to get seriously down to it. Anyway, I need to get to the point where I can get myself to the exam centre (and in and out of it), otherwise I just create another logistical problem.

Anyway, I get another X-ray this week, so I'm hoping to get rid of the brace if the healing is progressing. Mind you I thought that last time, 5 weeks ago, so daren't get my hope up this time.

Still, I've made some good friends thru' MN, and probably wouldn't have done that if this hadn't happened (Whistles ... "Always look on the briiight side of life" )

I broke both the calf bones down in the ankle area, and dislocated the ankle. The bones are healed now, but I have cartilage damage and that is what is causing my problems. I can't do much before it starts to hurt and stiffen up. Most days by bedtime every step is agony. They tell me it will get better but will take 'a very long time' whatever that means.

Is this magnet therapy of which you speak any good for cartilage?

Your injury/problem (don't know what to call it) sounds complicated. How long do they estimate it will take for yours to heal?

After my week in hospital, seeing what some of the other patients in the orthopaedic ward were facing, I count myself lucky. I can do most things now, but I have to pace myself. It has certainly changed my life. I used to rush everywhere stressing out about how much I needed to acheive, and drive my family mad with my constant need to prove my worth. For the first time in my life I have learned the value of doing nothing. Now I have enough time to waste, I am a much nicer person to live with.

Janstar, from what I know of magnet therapy it is believed to help all body tissues heal, but My main reason for suggesting it is for pain relief.

My mum broke her ankle 4 years ago, and it was very badly set (not really set at all in fact). For the first year after treatment she was severly disabled by the pain, but it improved incredibly when she started applying magnets to the painful area. She started with little magnet plasters bought from boots, worn all the time. But now she uses a magnetic ankle band (like an athletes ankle support) just worn overnight, and she can walk fine thru' the day to do shopping, visit stately homes, that sort of thing.
Some people are sceptical, but I think if it works, don't knock it. Read this to help make up your mind

When I did my thigh in, I didn't know whether I'd dislocated my new hip. When they X-rayed me in casualty I was sooo relieved it was a broken femur, I said to the nurse "Oh, thats good, they can easily fix a broken femur." Never realised the work would be so extensive, taking all the old stuff away. The main concern has been that there was a good enough blood supply to re-grow the bone, but it was more regrown on the last x-rays, so it seems okay, just slow.

Have you discovered shop-mobility in your local town? I used it before my hip, when I would get pain if I walked around town all day, which would mean I couldn't do anything much for the rest of the day. You hire (for free ) an electric scooter to take you round town, hop on and off as you need to look at things in shops (take the key out), then you're not in as much pain at the end of shopping trips. Only thing was I spent more, as shopping became a pleasure once more.

I will check out that link. I agree with you about not needing to know why alternative therapies work. If they work, great.

I used shop wheelchairs a few times when I wasn't allowed to walk, they were okay but there were lots of things I couldn't reach. I drove one of those little scooter things in B&Q but I kept crashing it, couldn't get the hang of it!

The thing is, I have been told to exercise my ankle and so I do tend to walk when I can, even if it hurts. If I don't override the pain sometimes and just get on with it, the muscles will waste away again.

Thanks, easy, I just read about the magnet therapy. I'm just wondering if the fact that I have a big metal plate and some screws in my ankle will interfere with it. It didn't say on that web page.

Janstar,

It shouldn't make asny difference. The metal lates they use for such things are resistant to magnetism, otherwise kids magnets would stick to you, and things like MRI scans would be problematic too.

Ha! Never thought of that. Have just taken a magnet off the fridge and put it on my ankle. It fell off. Right, I'm off to Boots tomorrow. Thanks!

Hi Easy - any joy in finding some help??

Hi Thomcat,

No still stuck. Someone is coming to see me on Friday, but they come from 30 miles away so I don't think they'll want to do it for long once they've tried the journey.

How are you? (Good movie Vertigo)

Hey, guess what ...
The lady who was coming to see me today drove over with her dh on tuesday to check the distance. It's too far for me, so she isn't coming after all. I knew it would be.

Still, hospital yesterday.. X-rays showed the break is mending (hooooooray). But, I'm still to treat it with extreme care. Can go without brace (which is stunningly uncomfortable) if just in Wheelchair or something, but must still wear it when up . But can work with Physio towards weightbearing when wearing brace. So I can start to walk, with zimmer frame.

Back at end November. more x-rays, then maybe proper walking ????
Who knows, I might have my bed back upstairs by Christmas.

Still looking for help tho'.

Oh Easy - what a disappointment. I know my times are a bit restrictive, but honestly, if there is anything I can do please, please, please let me know. Thinking about you XX WM