Help, ugently need help to look after me and my son

[easy]

I am currently in a wheelchair, recovering from a badly broken leg, which could take 3 - 4 more months.

I have a husband who works full time, and a ds (just 4 years), who attends nursery part time.

I've been employing a mother's help, but she returns to university next week. I had lined up someone to start next week. she has just rung me to say SHE HAS BROKEN HER LEG !!!.

Does anyone know someone who could come to help us, part time. This could suit another SAHM with small child, who could come with her. Hours can be arranged to suit, around my ds's playschool/nursery. I can pay about £5.00 per hour.

I'm in north Nottinghamshire.

Please rack your brains, I'm desperate. dh's employers have been very patient, but he can't take any more time off. My only alternative is to put ds in foster care, and I can't do that.

Could you try asking SS about direct payments? They pay you direct to employ someone. i think if you request an assessment thay have to do it within so many days.

I don't know much about it though I'm afraid. Found this link:

www.eastriding.gov.uk/socialservices/socialservices/otherservices/directpayments.html

it says you have to be disabled, so don't know if they would count temporarily disabled. Probably not, but may be worth asking about. Then you could employ a local nanny.

Jimjams,
Yes thanks, I do get direct payments, it was all organised when I came out of hospital. Thats why I can pay someone to come and look after me and ds at home, but couldn't afford to put ds into more childcare (and I don't want to, I was a SAHM so I could spend his pre-school time with him)

The problem isn't money (well except some of the nanny agency fees), it's actually finding someone to pay.

Wedgie, yes thankyou.

I'm currently looking at changing ds's nursery sessions to mornings on Mondays.

I'll contact you directly.

Hi Easy, sorry things are still not going smoothly. I hope you find someone soon.

I want to thank you for the advice about the magnets. I started using one and it really has made a difference.

Janstar thats FANTASTIC

getting away from pain really liberates you doesn't it? Thats why I had my hip done in the beginning (oh, if only I'd known).

My uncle has really bad hips. Doctors are amazed he can walk and is not wheelchairbound. He uses magnetic insoles in his shoes and a magnetic seat cover in the car (he'sg a black cabbie.) unfortunately they are only available by mail order.

This weekend I went out Friday night with my sister, driving 20 miles there and 20 back Sat morning. For the first time since my accident, I could walk as fast as her. 10.30 Friday night I was standing at a bar, not worried about finding a chair - that was another first.

Saturday after coming back we were out afternoon and evening, and did a pile of sewing. Sunday I spend 2 hours laying slabs in my back garden, brought 6 bags of old clothes down from the loft for a charity collection, and cooked a nice meal for 6.

Easy, you are my favourite person right now. If I didn't have ds to look after I would drive up north to look after you myself!

Janstar
That's brilliant, I'm really happy I've been able to help someone.

Thanks for letting me know.

Oh, and if you know anyone with a back problem .... A frield of mine spent a fortune with her osteopath, until she stuck magnets on the spine just below her neck. She found the results incredible too.

LOL

Just so you know, The Panic is over!!!

I've found a mum nearby who has 2 small girls of her own. She wants to start childminding (she's qualified NNEB, and experienced former Nanny). She is going to help me out for a few weeks/months to help her get some money to start-up, and help me with DS.

She's experienced, a driver, police checked (necessary when social services money is involved), insured and a really nice person. DS seems to get on with her girls too.

So perhaps the heavens are smiling on me a bit now.

Thanks for all your support.

OOOH, if Janstar's there, how are your magnets doing?

Oh Easy what great news, I can imagine you feel very relieved.

What fantastic news Easy, I'm so pleased for you!

Hi Easy, that's great news. I still remember trying to explain to people that it wasn't that I would like some help with ds, but that I simply could not look after him myself on one leg. Even my dh took a long time to 'get it'.

Thanks for asking about the magnets, yes, doing well at the moment, mostly due to the fact that I had a week's holiday and did lots of larding about. Also swam every day - perfect for exercising the muscles without putting any strain on the cartilege. I am walking almost without a limp now and it feels great. Still wearing the magnet and now a firm believer.

Thanks again for that tip. How is your leg now?

Brilliant news Easy - glad you've got something sorted!

That's great news Easy. Apart from relieved, how are you?

Hi Easy, I was just wondering how you are and if your leg is any better?

Hi Janstar and everyone.
Haven't mumsnetted for ages. Was getting very hooked, and sometimes let some of the more difficult threads get to me (spent one evening crying cos no-one liked me). So I went to research my Family Tree instead, and got obssessive about that instead.

Just to let you know, I am now out of the Wheelchair (most of the time). Walking with crutches, just short distances. The bed went back upstairs the week before Xmas so we could have Dinner in the dining room.

X-rays show there is good bone re-growth, and I go to physio every week. I'm driving myself now too (car is an automatic).

Still finding looking after ds quite difficult, particularly if he decides to act-up. So relying on child-minder quite alot.

still feel pretty disabled too. with the crutches you can't carry anything, so can't do housework, laundry, or cooking yet properly. And I have been told I'll never be able to bend down properly, cycle, or swim, and will never quite get back my mobility. So I should be happy that things are getting better, but if anything feel just as depressed (just an ungrateful cow I guess).

Oooops sorry.

Anyway, how's everyone else?

I was wondering how you were...
It's good to hear that there has been some progress, but I can understand you feeling down about restricted mobility, that's very tough, and I'm sorry to hear that.

Discover anyone famous or notorious in your family tree????

Cheers Blu

No no-one notorious yet, but I still haven't got all that far back (about 1830's). Can't get much further on-line yet, so looking forward to being able to get out to search church records and stuff in the summer.

Found an american newspaper reporter tho' and 2 of my ancestors, from a Sheffield family, were born in Alsace in the 1870's, and I can't explain why. See, told you i've become obssessed.

Can be as frustrating as interesting tho'

oooooh......how do you trace your family tree and how much is it to do?

Hope u r feeling a bit better now ......have just caught up with this!

you start by talking to older members of the family and get as many details as possible. Then you try and check them out - they may well be wrong !

If you can get back that far there is a web site for the 1901 census - free to check names, you have to pay for details. If you get back to 1881 the census is online and free to access. If you still ive in the same area then you can go to the local records office and look at parish registers. If you can afford it you can get birth, marriage and death certificates - indexes usually held at main libraries.

Many other ways, as well but that is a start.

Collision,
yep, start by talking to the oldest members of the family about who or what they can remember.
Register with the Genes Connected website to start recording back your immediate family (less than a tenner). It gives you a family tree, and contact with sqillions of other people's family trees, which might connect with one or two of your relatives.

Then type Genealogy into your search engine, and examine the other sites that have that data on them. There are loads of american sites, a few GB ones, and the latter day saints site, which is free and holds loads of records from the UK as well as USA and elsewhere.

You can spend loads on this, sending for copies of birth/marriage/death certificates, and paying for access to the 1901 census, but you don't have to if you're dogged and patient. If you can get out and about to church registers & so on it's more fun, and you can become a bit of a Sherlock Holmes.
Take a look at "The Genealogist's Internet" by Peter Christian for more pointers.

contact me if you want more info

EASY!!!!!

I was just thinking about you. Glad you're up and about. Sorry i haven't been in touch, things got a bit crappy round here (illness/nursery and childcare problems.... I could go on and on!!!). But things have settled since Christmas. DS has started school and is loving it it and being almost an angel . Also not been around as much on MN as have not liked some of the stuff going on and wanted to avoid the aggro.

DS has been asking about your DS so please send him our love. If you're driving perhaps we could meet up somewhere one day (Mondays are best for me) and let your DS play with my DD???

Love and all the best!!!
WMxxx

Hi Easy, good to see you posting again. I can't believe you cried because no one liked you! You must have made a mistake...of course everyone likes you!

Sorry you still can't get around much. My leg was broken a year ago this week and I still have awful pain every evening with it. I still can't walk far (compared to the multi-mile hikes we used to do) and I feel as if I am surrounded by jobs, looking at me, screaming, 'I need attention...NOW!'

But I learned some valuable lessons while I was laid up. I learned how to relax and let other people do it. I learned that my family still loves me if I don't do anything for them. I learned that I am a much nicer person when I sit around and do nothing for a while each day. These things are going to change my life long after my leg is better.

I know how frustrating it is and how awkward on the crutches. I never realised until I used the items myself how in a wheelchair you have your hands free but can't reach half the stuff you need, and on crutches you can't carry anything!

I used to wear something with pockets and put things in there or hang a carrier bag on the crutch.

It opened my eyes to what disabled people have to put up with as well.

Very interesting to read about the family tree thing.

Oh well, please keep on posting, it's great to hear from you and I hope your recovery speeds along.