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Original poster

Help, ugently need help to look after me and my son

98 replies

easy · 16/09/2003 14:21

I am currently in a wheelchair, recovering from a badly broken leg, which could take 3 - 4 more months.

I have a husband who works full time, and a ds (just 4 years), who attends nursery part time.

I've been employing a mother's help, but she returns to university next week. I had lined up someone to start next week. she has just rung me to say SHE HAS BROKEN HER LEG !!!.

Does anyone know someone who could come to help us, part time. This could suit another SAHM with small child, who could come with her. Hours can be arranged to suit, around my ds's playschool/nursery. I can pay about £5.00 per hour.

I'm in north Nottinghamshire.

Please rack your brains, I'm desperate. dh's employers have been very patient, but he can't take any more time off. My only alternative is to put ds in foster care, and I can't do that.

OP posts:
forestfly · 16/09/2003 16:45

Id love to help you but too faraway! How about putting an advert in a church bulletin?

LadyP · 16/09/2003 17:23

Hi Easy

I would go with Rhubarb's suggestion of Homestart (if there is one in your area).

You are the type of case (sorry if that sounds patronising, not meant to be)that we help out with (I am an active volunteer).

And it's free :0

LadyP · 16/09/2003 17:24

Oh, just remembered in my haste to post, most Homestart volunteers only visit once a week - probably no help to you after all, but you can try anyway

LIZS · 16/09/2003 17:29

Easy,

You may not be religious but could you contact someone at the local church to see if there is anyone who could visit you, even if this is just a protem measure until you can sort something else out. They often have a team of local volunteers with various skills and experience or could advertise for you in their newsheets.

tigermoth · 16/09/2003 17:54

Easy, how awful for you. Two more ideas to add - contact all the local schools and ask the helper you were going to have if she knows a friend who could step in.

rainbow · 16/09/2003 18:19

Easy have you contacted Social services? It may be poss for them to send you someone, they did my SIL's sis. she broke arm but had triplets. ontact your local college. They are always looking for placements for nursey nurses.

WedgiesMum · 16/09/2003 21:29

easy

Just sent an email via the contacts to you. Let me know if this helps.

WM xx

Blu · 17/09/2003 10:52

Are you anywhere near CenterParcs Sherwood Forest? They seem to have lists of babysitters that they use, who only charge £5 an hour....maybe some of them would appreciate additional daytime work as a Mum's help?

doormat · 17/09/2003 10:58

easy I am so sorry about that, I think the way SS hve treated you is disgusting.I cant believe that all they offered you was foster care. very sad.

If I lived near you I would gladly help out. I hope you get something sorted soon.

doormat · 17/09/2003 10:58

ps could ds go and stay with relatives for a few days, sort of like a little adventure for him.

Original poster
easy · 17/09/2003 11:57

hi doormat.

It just so happens that ds went on holiday last week with my BIL and his family. They work tho' so it wouldn't be easy to arrange any more time.

My mum will help a bit, but she's getting on a bit (a disadvantage of having babies late in life) and finds caring for a very lively 4 yo and me tiring. anyway, she's booked a holiday with her friend in a couple of weeks time, and I can't expect her to cancel it.

OP posts:
Original poster
easy · 17/09/2003 12:05

Just to say thanks to everyone who has showed concern and sympathy over this. Yesterday it seemed like SUCH a crisis.

I have now
been in touch with local college, waiting for them to call me back (ho hum)
Contacted a couple of nanny agencies to see if they can help (but this is apparently a bad area for such things)
Asked at ds's playschool this morning (but doesn't seem hopeful)
Placed an ad in the local paper, out on Friday.
Contacted those of you who suggested you might be able to help.

We'll see what happens. I just feel a bit depressed this week, we really could do with some good luck for a change

OP posts:
Twinkie · 17/09/2003 12:48

Message withdrawn

Janstar · 20/09/2003 12:17

easy, how is it going? Did you manage to sort everything out?

robinw · 21/09/2003 09:03

message withdrawn

Original poster
easy · 22/09/2003 14:27

Hi everyone,

Well the ad in the local paper brought just 1 response, a lady who is unsuitable, because she cannot be flexible over times.

The local college hasn't called me back. I'll chase it again but rather feel it's probably no good (sorry feeling fairly negative right now).

contacted another site a bit like this, with local branch, but no response yet.

Have just asked my hairdresser friend if she'll put up a notice in her salon, but feel really cheeky doing it.

On the plus side, just made contact with Wedgiesmum, who I don't think can help the hours I need cos of work, distance etc, but is going to come over for a chat sometime, so that's nice.

Feeling pretty fed up and depressed right now tho' (actually a bit tearful). None of this was supposed to happen in that 'happy ever after' fanatasy that we all see when we have a baby.

Oooops, must stop feeling sorry for myself.

OP posts:
forestfly · 22/09/2003 14:28

Have you tried churches? They will put a notice in the bulletin

Original poster
easy · 23/09/2003 15:21

Sorry FF, meant to say....

I've just missed the deadline for this month's parish magazine. Will try for next month's but hope to have someone by then.

OP posts:
Helsbels · 23/09/2003 15:35

Easy,
when you say north Notts where do mean near my geography is crap but are you near Mansfield for example? I know the council there provide lists of carers and childminders - also the college (west Notts and Notts and SEDC) run creches that non-students can use that are very reasonable. I am not that far from Mansfield but into Derbyshire, let me know where you are and I can try to put out some feelers from this end

Original poster
easy · 23/09/2003 15:45

Hi hels, yes not far from Mansfield. Okay its Hucknall.
Childminders and Creches are no use to me, Ds is already spending more time away from me than I want (5 half-days) plus, my social services funding is for someone to look after me at home, I can't spend it on just childminding fees. And anyway, I still need someone to come in and help me to get fed and do the laundry, that sort of stuff.

Thanx for the thought tho'

OP posts:
Helsbels · 23/09/2003 15:55

Just checked on autoroute and you are only 13 miles away from me (or at least Hucknall is)I work 3 days a week but if I can help in any way at all with - I don't know - bringing a shepherds pie or a morning sitting with you on a day off or anything - let me know. I know what it is like to feel that you have no help at all and its horrible

Helsbels · 23/09/2003 16:19

Also, work with a guy from Arnold and have asked him to ask his dp if she knows anyone who would fit the bill.

Original poster
easy · 23/09/2003 16:28

Thanx Hels,

my biggest problem now is Wednesday afternoons. DS goes to playschool on Wednesday mornings (which he loves, so I don't want to change it, he's missing out on so many other things right now), but that means he's at home from 12:00.

We're going to try with dh working at home this wednesday, to see if ds will leave him alone and play with me. But I don't think dh can work at home every Wednesday (esp seeing as he's going to have thurday next week off to take me to the hospital).

So if someone can come at around 11:30 am on a wednesday to help me into the car to go and fetch ds from playschool, then help us get lunch and stay to play until about 6:30 pm, that would be great. Don't want much do I

OP posts:
Helsbels · 23/09/2003 16:46

Contact me via MN. Could have found someone to help. P/T mum at my place of work. Very pleasant with 2 yr old dd. Hope it works out - I will pass on your details to Cassie and she will contact you direct if she is able to do anything. She is going to discuss with her sister tonight as they share their childcard between them. Keep your chin up xx

Helsbels · 23/09/2003 16:47

sorry should have put childcare!!

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