Telling non-resident parent that we're moving 4 hours away, Advice please

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Title say's it all really. DD is ten, OH has been offered a job that will involve us moving around 4 hours away. Me and OH both drive. Ex is banned from driving. Trains run fairly frequently. Would still be returning to the area to see friends and family. Ex currently has dd every weekend and a few hours mid week after school but we are in the process of changing this to her staying at home every other weekend as she never get's to do stuff with us. This is fine with all parties and would not be set in stone if there are activities/parties etc happening at either house.

The move would not be until the Summer holidays and nothing is definate yet, but it looks like it would be most beneficial to all of us, except ex obviously. The thought is that I or OH would do the round trip on a Fri and Sun to drop her off/pick up or use trains when she is older/driving not possible every other weekend, although he is then gonig to miss out on the week day visit. Also visits in holidays would be when ever dd and ex wanted. We would do all we could to accomodate visits and he would be welcome to come to us, and stay in dds room or a spare one if we have one, or hotel, whatever.

I feel that I should let him know that it is a possibility that we could be going, whilst dd is not there to see the reaction, which will probably be quite abusive. So, should I phone him and tell him, meet face to face, letter, text?? (joke) I know it's not fair, and it's going to be hard on him and if I could do it so everyone was happy then I would, but I can't.

So, advice please on how to tell him, and a bit of hand holding wouldn't go amiss!

Good Grief! He really is beyond belief.
Well he promised that he wouldnt do anything last time so his promises are like pie crusts, obviously made to be broken... and yet again he has blatantly lied when his own DD was a witness...he is clearly never going to grow up and act like a responsible adult..I personally would contest his having any contact whatsoever and absolutley refuse to let him anywhere near DD until she decides she if she wants to be associated with such a selfish mindless thug.
I hope the weekend is wonderful family bonding and inspirational time together. Enjoy. xx

Chipping-There was other witnesses but they are neighbours of GF so unlikely to help. What kind of statement do you think she should write? How it has affected her etc?

Weekend was okay but could have been better, my stress levels are making me horrible :( Was nice looking around the area and getting a better idea of where we want to be, and schools seem good :) Have been in contact with a nice pre-school in the area that we would like to be and they said there'd be no problem with getting dd2 in, spoke to a few estate agents in the area and had dd1 jotting notes down. Solictor should be calling me back today to let me know what I need to do regarding the solicitors letter.

You would need to call your solicitor and see if she will take the statment for you so that you aren't accused of making her write it or writing it for her - but for the case with your OH she would need to write what she saw (and it wouldn't hurt to say how she felt). She's basically going to be the only witness with the way things are looking. Although, I would ask the neighbours - you never know. It's worth asking the solicitor if they could do it anonymously.

You have PR of DD don't you?

It's a shame about the weekend - but not really suprising is it :( I'm glad the area is looking good. Do you have a date yet?

Did you hear back from the Solicitor?

~Hi Sorry I haven't been replying, been trying to get on with college work. Yes I have PR of dd. Didn't hear back from solicitor but I re-called her. She is going to write a letter saying that we rebuff the insinuation that there was mutual violence and I am willing to try mediation. However, I went to the initial mediation interview yesterday and the lady has rejected the mediation offer saying he has been too violent in the past for mediation to be safe.

Just want to update this thread.

After everything, DD finally started seeing her df again, only for hin to start screaming in her face and chasing her down the street. Needless to say, dd has had no further contact with him except for one phonecall this week. Caffcass reccomended no direct contact, so when we went to court last week he was granted one phonecall a week and fortnightly letters.

DD is happy with this so far, and is happy and secure in her new home.

Thanks to all who advised me and sent good wishes :)