Shall I be Mrs DHname, Ms MyName or what?

[SenoraPostrophe]

so, it's coming up to our first anniversary and I still haven't decided whether to change my name.

The kids have DH's name because it's very unusual, my name is slightly nicer, but harder for Spanish people to spell. Googling my name brings up lots of results, Googling my name with DH's surname produces none. It sounds silly as a double barrel, and we're not posh enough for that anyway. Part of me would love to have the same name as my family, part of me thinks that is letting down the "cause".

what do you think?

also what did you do?

also if I keep my name, presumably I should be Ms. Should i also write snotty emails to sites which do not give me that option?

sorry if this has been done before btw. couldn't find it.

Can't you be both?

I don't know about Spanish law but in English law you can call yourself whatever you want as long as it's not for fraudulent purposes. I know lots of women who are Mrs X in their private lives, but continue to be known as Ms X at work.

Although doubtless the ID card will put paid to that.

Coming up to your first anniversary and I still haven't sent these photos sitting here (in a nice reinforced enevelope) on my desk...

What would you do about your name if you were living back here? And is it a problem in Spain that your name is different from theirs?

What about the spanish conventional way of doing things whereby you are Mrs Your Maiden name ?

SP,I've kept my name (although it'snothing special)
My kids are double barrelled.What's with the 'not for the likes of us' forelock tugging attitude girl!? You can have whatever you please?

If I'm asked what I am on the phone I either ask why they don't ask men to clarify whether they are a 'master' or a 'mister' or just laugh and say
'Put what you like' or if felling really naughty,say 'Mister'

That freaks 'em!

I'm very traditional so I'd go with MrsDHname so that all the family are the same. That's just my opinion though.

I changed my name to DH's - wanted to be a family with the same name when we had children. Not sure what I'd have done if I'd not liked his surname mind you!

Never been a fully-paid-up member of the cause though, so it has never bothered me.

I kept my own surname and am a Ms. Kids have dhs name.

I'm Mrs Myname in school cos kids don't seem to understand the concept of Ms.

Even the RAF (dh's employer) calls me Ms Myname. I have no papers in Mrs dhsname at all, she just doesn't exist.

Just do what you want.

I dithered in the same way, but then thought that my name was only my father's name anyway, and if it came to it I'd rather share something with dh than with dead father! In the end I liked changing my name really. The old one had associations with inky school exercise books and being called to the headmistress's study. The new one is much more grown up and my signature is better.

hmb, all my teacher friends seem to have gone down that route. Kids never seem to get it do they?!

Hi Jan!

Lol at the photos! rather like the pile of thank you cards on MY desk.

In Spain it's quite uncommon for women to change their name when they get married. the kids always have dadsname mumsname so everyone knows who the mother is by their surname anyway. My two have DH's surname only though.

I could be both, but have to decide in a month as passport is up for renewal.

I am traditional too and I automatically took DH's name. I never considered not doing so.

I don't like the use of Ms - even if you keep your own name, I think Mrs is better.

I also wouldn't be keen on not having same name as my DD.

A friend of mine has her DH's name at home/social/etc. But has kept her own name for work purposes.

I'd stick to yours but then have never made it to the altar myself. If anyone ever asks for Mrs HisName I say politely that she lives in Brighton, where DP's mum is.

I know someone who has kept her own name and hates being called Mrs or Ms - she's Miss. She's in her 50s, so I find that quite surprising.

Oh god - my signature! I've spent years perfecting mine - it has a big loop in it and everything.

I'm Ms what I've always been called
Dp is Mr what he's always been called
ds is xxx name, my name as a middle name (you know my surname) then ex dh's name since it's nicer sounding than mine
dd is miss my surname-dp's surname hyphenated. So we've ALL got different names, all four of us, it doesn't appear to make any difference, people know when I ring and say Hi it's www, ds's mum. And the same with dp.

So I've stuck with the name I've always had and always will. I feel it's me. I can't imagine ever being called anything else, I just can't. Hey and we're not posh but have double barrelled dd! Ds can double barrel his if he wants to, that was always the idea, that my name was in there somewhere for use at a later date if we wanted to. I think you should keep your name.

But I'm not Mrs Myname am I? that's my gran (my mum having changed hers by deed poll)

I am a fully paid up nightmare ball breaking member of the cause and I changed my name.
because - it's easier that way.
the double-barrelled thing is all very well for this generation but what about the next one?
I'm secure enough in my own identity for my name to mean jack sh*t tbh.
and, most importantly, my new name doesn't get me "randomly" searched in airports...

you can still use Ms either way

And I like haughtily saying 'MS actually,'when pipsqueaks on the phone say 'and is that Mrs or Miss?'

Why can't you be Ms your name?

perhaps I should have left out the posh comment

But you know how some names just work as double barreled names better than others? neither of ours do.

www - I can, but there were a couple of comments below which suggested I should be Mrs myname.

Everybody else having one name and Miss/Ms/Mrs Whoever having another is a bit awkward though, www? (Glad you are back btw )

MI, what do your DDs have?

My kids also have my surname as a given name....not hypenated. After the event I found out that this was an old tradition in dh's family

If dadsname mumsname is the Spanish way maybe you should just change the kids', SP?