Neighbour not buckling up her kids

[mieow]

I noticed today as we were strapping our children in their car seats my neighbour leaving her driveway and all 3 of her kids were standing up on the seats. They are 7,4 and 2. The baby has a carseat as I have seen him in it before but he was standing up waving to me. What should I do? They were quick enough to come round when DS was standing on top of his slide and jumping up and down, and tell us off basically, but this is really bad and don't know what to do.

Oh God. This is awful. How well do you know your neighbour? I suppose if my neighbour told me off for this I'd be tell her to p* off and mind her own business. But then I would NEVER let my ds travel in the car without being in his car seat. You could maybe try mentioning it in convesation, that it is really dangerous even for short journeys. Good luck!

Police, I would

Confront her - I would - tell her that you are not telling her off but are worried - if they were in an accident you would never forgive yourself - I am a road safety millitant though.

This to me is tantamount to child abuse!!

who is it who has a go at children left in cars?

aloha I think, sorry if Im wrong

Erm - I have a go when kids are not strapped in but only at traffic lights normally - so I really look like a nutter!!

Is Aloha I think too - if not I am sure that she does something else strange!!

Sorry, Aloha - have had a glass of wine and am sitting in office all alone (well actually am gonna go home now) - so I am trying to be funny - not meant to offend - you have given me great advice and been a real rock.

I have the same situation with my neighbours; the other day I watched 3 children age 4-6, two babies about 8-12months old, and 2 (or maybe 3?) adults drive off in a 5-seater-car. Not a single carseat between them, of course.

And I probably won't say anything ever to the neighbours -- why? Because it will just create bad feeling and not change their behaviour at all. Two adults with babies and 3 more children wanted to go the park, and they weren't willing to walk, and didn't have another car.

I've got the same sort of thing aswell - neighbours dh keeps going to pick her up from work (half mile away on country roads) with dd sitting on his lap!!! I'm not going to say anything though as I've heard the arguments they have over it.

I know someone who puts their daughter in the back of their van. I think thats really bad.

My neighbour straps the child in but the seat isn't attached to the car seat.I should say something but never have

I think you have to say something. I mean, what if they had an accident. You'd feel terrible for not having intervened. The difficult thing is knowing how to say it. The easiest way might be to ring the police and ask their advice, although they might not appreciate being asked!

You could try hinting that you know someone who's recently been fined for not having had their children properly restrained, and hope they take the hint!

A once close friend and I once had a heated talk because I concieve my children really easy and she had fertility treatment therefore she loves hers more than mine.Then to my amazement I saw her with her child in a tranni van with him sitting on a pile of newspapers (double nutter).people who don't strap there kids in the car make me wild.I feel like punching them when I see it going on.I also have to drive my kids to school and see it every morning.I even refuse tea invite's for my children if I see that the parents don't strap the kids in.Even got a mother that turns up most mornings kids not strapped in and says she has got a hangover.I just can't belive it.Hope I'm not sounding a snob either but it seem's to be the parents that don't give a monkey's about what there kids get up to .

I've posted before about my area where it's probably more unusual to use child seats than not. What I saw the other day takes the proverbial biscuit ... man driving car along busy main road with sun roof open, and two little girls standing on their seats (one front, one back)with their heads and shoulders out of the sun roof. I have no comment to make on this, I'll just let your own minds boggle ...

A friend of mine gives ds2 and I a lift to TumbleTots most weeks - I am fanatical about ensuring the car seat is properly secured, and that ds2 is firmly strapped in. Her ds2, however (20 months, same age as mine) sits in his car seat with the restraining straps so loose that they are hanging down round his elbows.

The first week I said to her "R isn't properly fastened in, shall I tighten up his straps?" and her reply was (laughing) "oh, he goes mad if the straps are too tight, and struggles til he gets out of the seat altogether..I know I should do them, but S [her eldest] was the same...and he's still alive."

I was gobsmacked, I said something along the lines of "oh I have to fasten mine in properly, I'd never forgive myself if something happened to them.." She just doesn't seem to see the danger and it freaks me out every time she gives me a lift.

Just think she should have persevered, weathered any tantrums from the start...better screaming and throwing a wobbly than dead. But what can you do if she refuses to take the risk seriously?

I have the straps in my car seat as tight as they should be and every time I strap dd in, she immediately wails the house down (until the car gets going) but I've got no problem with that because at least she's safe.

I have said this before on another thread about a similar subject but in my child's class at school (admittedly v. small class but the principle is the same) dd is the only one (aged 6.5) who uses a booster seat. None of the others use any kind of car seat for their children aged 5 and 6. I think its not until they are much older that the strap is safely off their neck so they should be kept higher.

This is the thing that really changes my opinion of people if I know they don't strap their kids in and use booster seats.

We have only been neighbours for 3 months, and I don't want to cause hard feelings between us. We have been driving behind them and seen their DS2 standing and waving. My children all have seats, DS is 5 and has a booster seat for daddy's car, a seat for the family car and a booster seat for in anyone elses car. DD1 and DD2 both have seats which get taken out the family car and fitted into other cars. My mum has a car seat in her car and a booster seat.
I paid 50 pounds for each of my childrens car seats but I have seen car seats cheaper and there is no excuses not to strap them in.
DH said don't to say anything as they are not our responiblity (true) and that our kids are all strapped in.
She said that she had done 500 miles over the last 2 days and I wonder if they were strapped in at all throughout the journeys.

say something in a " gosh you are brave have you never been stopped.." sort of way.

my pal has her 5 year old in the front with a working air bag..... i keep telling her.

mieow - have been thinking about your dilemma over dinner. Could you crack daft (useful Northern expression) and say something like.."oh, you'll never believe what I saw the other day - a toddler standing up in a car, not fastened in! Can't believe people are so irresponsible with their children blah blah blah..."?
Or has she seen you seeing her doing this (excellent grammar there)?
May just shame her into acting more responsibly?

CAM, couldn't agree more. My eldest ds (6.5) has a full carseat which can be converted into a booster (Concord LiftPro - can highly recommend it, can be used from age 3 to 11). Most of the children in his class, however, just use an adult belt..and the number who sit in the front (when back is empty) just beggars belief.

I actually pisted a thread about this a while ago, when I saw a man at a petrol station doing the same thing. A lot of people told me that I should not have done/said anything. Can't remember what it was called. IMO, if you know them, then it might be a good idea to say something. Did you actually see them drive off with the kids unstrapped?

Oops! Meant 'posted'!

h, yes, it's me, I'm afraid, Atilla The Mum.
Harder if it's your neighbour though. Either do something anonymous -eg police (it is illegal) or say something about how a friend of yours lost a child in a car accident maybe.

yep, she drove off before we finishing strapping our kids in.