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Original poster

Neighbour not buckling up her kids

90 replies

mieow · 25/07/2003 14:39

I noticed today as we were strapping our children in their car seats my neighbour leaving her driveway and all 3 of her kids were standing up on the seats. They are 7,4 and 2. The baby has a carseat as I have seen him in it before but he was standing up waving to me. What should I do? They were quick enough to come round when DS was standing on top of his slide and jumping up and down, and tell us off basically, but this is really bad and don't know what to do.

OP posts:
tallulah · 25/07/2003 22:22

marthamoo, Ds2 used to actually unbuckle his car seat when he was 2-ish & we used to have to stop every single journey, forcibly do up the straps and tell him to leave them alone. It got very boring, but no way did we go anywhere with anyone unstrapped.

mieow, difficult situation. Perhaps "I don't know how you can concentrate with them all jumping about- I have to make sure mine are all strapped down" No, even that sounds dodgy.. (I don't know how she can though)

Original poster
mieow · 26/07/2003 09:41

DD1 actually keeps undoing her belt and we have stop and do it back up too. Its annoying but rather that than her dead. I honestly don't know what to say as its really not my business how she looks after their kids but could I forgive myself if she had a crash and they died because of not be strapped in?
It IS law that a child has to be retained in a seat isn't it?

OP posts:
Clarinet60 · 26/07/2003 10:41

I feel SO strongly about this. Could you rush up to her full of tears and give her a story about an old friend who lost her children this way?

Personally, I would call the police anonymously, and keep calling them until something is done.

Clarinet60 · 26/07/2003 10:43

Yes meiow, it is the law. Somewhere, there's a thread where a police officer posts about what would or would not be done.

Can't remember what it's called, or what she said. Helpful, aren't I?!

lisalisa · 28/07/2003 12:49

Message withdrawn

webmum · 28/07/2003 13:21

the problem with these people is thaey don't think it could happen to them, they just ahven't realised that accidents do happen in real life and people get hurt.

This is a very sensitive subject for me as Is ee it all the time when I go to Italy: most children are njot strapped in just as adults don't wear their seat belts. I think I'm considered a bit paranoid by my relatives, as I'd rather walk for an hour than get on a car wihtout the car seat!

quackers · 28/07/2003 13:27

You can really go off people! I made a mental note to not let my dd have a lift to school with my neighbours when she eventually goes. She puts her 2 yr old in a seat but doesn;t strap her in! The 5 yr old just does what she likes. they seemd such decent people who were more intelligent than that!

hmb · 28/07/2003 13:28

What worries me are the large numbers of people whi think that they would be able to hold onto a child if there was an accident. I saw a mock up of a 10 mph shunt, adults were strapped in and given a, 8 pound 'baby' doll to hold onto. None of them could, and the 'baby' shot out of their arms. I used to tell my mother this and she always took it as some sort of insult to her. Crazy and sad

codswallop · 28/07/2003 13:32

and I have seen more of my friends out on bikes with kids all hemleted up but the MUm not!

Dahlia · 28/07/2003 13:33

I would phone the police - although having said that I see a mum at school every day driving a mini bus/van filled with her children (she has FOURTEEN KIDS!) and not only does she drive too fast, but none of the children have seat belts on. They all sit on bench seats on either side of this tatty old van and if she slammed her brakes on or indeed hit something, some of those kids would end up through the windscreen. It makes my blood boil, but I haven't done anything about it, mainly because she looks like a bit of a psycho. I really should phone the police anonymously.

Lil · 28/07/2003 13:56

This is another car seat thread...hmm..I've read a few of these on this site, and daren't comment as I seem to be the only person who doesn't categorise this issue as a terrible crime/police matter or a reason to be made a pariah of the state.

Yes its irresponsible, yes it is against the law now, but as of over 10 years ago it wasn't even a crime.

We all have a different perception on risk, some of us take more risks than others, some don't see their actions as risky.

Whatever your perspective it certainly isn't child abuse, and Happycat surely its not a reason to so forcefully ostracise someone???

Dahlia · 28/07/2003 14:05

I think if you knowingly don't bother to fasten up a seat belt on a child or put them in a car seat which takes seconds, then its as good as child abuse. It doesn't matter how good and safe a driver you are, you cannot possibly know what other drivers are going to do.

Tissy · 28/07/2003 14:07

It's not child abuse until that car is involved in a collision and the child is maimed or worse.

These people would be the first to call for life sentences if their child was killed in an accident, but I think that some of the responsibility MUST be taken by the parents. If we take out kids out in cars, we must expect that a small number will be involved in accidents. Even a minor accident at a relatively low speed can kill a child who is unrestrained. I would like to see the police prosecuting more people for breaking this law. Perhaps the "punishment" should be a day watching some videos about what can happen, and a fine amounting to the cost of fitting the car seat, which would then be done compulsorily.

Call me Mrs Angry if you like

LIZS · 28/07/2003 14:08

Quackers

I also don't see the point of her having bought a seat and put it in the car if she then doesn't strap the child into it. Surely a 2 year old would either wriggle out (I know dd would) or slide out at the first jerk. Mind you she'd probably just tell you that they undo the buckles anyway. Baffling

lisalisa · 28/07/2003 14:10

Message withdrawn

hmb · 28/07/2003 14:18

lisalisa, I don't know what the law is, but I had a quick google and it would seem that the advice is no kids under 12 in the front if you have an enabled air bag. Over 12 move the seat as far back as possible. I think this is to do with the force the bag hits the passinger with, ie enough to stop a forward moving adults, which is too much for a child.

soothepoo · 28/07/2003 14:56

Well, at the risk of sounding dim, I've never heard of a car seat detector - what sort of car do you have, Lisalisa?

happycat · 28/07/2003 15:00

when a car pulls up beside me with the kids in it jumping all over the place I said I feel like punching them this was a figure of speach I am not a voilent person and was expressing how it makes me feel.When I posted about the once close friend letting her child sit on piles of newspapers in a trani van this is not the reason why she is a once close friend.Just to clear that up.There is a lot more information and products to keep are children as safe as we can now than there was say 20 years ago even and I just feel that I want to do the best I can for my children to my ability as do lots of my parent friends do.

iota · 28/07/2003 15:04

Re the car seat detector, there was a car seat thread in April which mentioned thisand I quote)
miramw-"If you order new, then quite a few manufacturers can turn off the passenger airbag. We have a Mazda and have had to get a special car seat which deactivates the passenger airbag (which I belive Mercedes also use)."

Can't verify if it's true.

iota · 28/07/2003 15:05

oops - sorry face shouldn't be ther was supposed to be a bracket

Boe · 28/07/2003 15:05

As someone who was sitting on their mothers lap when she went through a windscreen and killed I would class someone not strapping their child in as child abuse and I would fine them heavily and get them to speak to mothers who have lost their children in this way.

I was 11 months when my mother was killed and my sister sustained a serious brain injury - none of our lives have ever been the same.

It is not the immediate injuries but the lifelong toll of losing a child that these people face - as parents we should be legally obliged to take as much care as possible for our children and the punishment for not doing so should be severe.

I only wish that this was more publicised - I would be all for a programme showing the physical and psychological effects on families who have been involved in car accidents where either the adult or child was not strapped in.

soothepoo · 28/07/2003 15:13

Thanks for that info, iota.

Boe · 28/07/2003 15:17

Oh - Apparently there have been a few cases where small children have been decapitated when the airbag goes off.

Children should not sit in the front of a car until they are 12 years or over!!

LIZS · 28/07/2003 15:29

lisalisa,

I think that our manual says something about a car seat detector in relation to Isofix (there is an indicator light on dashboard which I think would show if one was properly fixed) but we only have this in the back. Whether it also switches off any airbags I don't know. In the back there is only a side one in the column between front and rear doors anyway. We don't use the Isofix (one booster seat and one belt retained seat) so not tested it out.

Lil · 28/07/2003 16:07

Boe