Neighbour not buckling up her kids

[mieow]

I noticed today as we were strapping our children in their car seats my neighbour leaving her driveway and all 3 of her kids were standing up on the seats. They are 7,4 and 2. The baby has a carseat as I have seen him in it before but he was standing up waving to me. What should I do? They were quick enough to come round when DS was standing on top of his slide and jumping up and down, and tell us off basically, but this is really bad and don't know what to do.

One of the reasons that we have car seats is because the force of an impact would throw your children forward/sideways and adult seatbelts are only designed for adult the size/shape (although I get a big red mark across neck when driving my car!) - booster seats are designed to raise the child but it is often the case that the seatbelt is still too high and therefore it is imperative that there is some mechanism for lowering the anchor point of the seatbelt - Graco (I think it is) do a booster seat which anchors the seatbelt down to where it is supposed to be to hold the child in in the event of an accident and one of the reasons it is supposed to be at a certain height is to make sure that any force asserted on the children is not asserted onto their vital organs.

I was recently in Paris visiting DPs brother and his new baby and he had a carrycot which could be strapped into the car - I explained to him that in the event of an accident the straps securing his 3 week old baby would transfer any impact across his rib cage and spleen (their were 2 straps) and this could prove fatal - he just replied that the law says it is ok!! - he is a v.clever man and lectures at one of the universities in Paris but just could not understand what I was saying - he thought it better for the baby to be lying flat??? (It has been scrunched up in the womb for the last 9 months!!!)

I think that putting a child onto a booster seat which effectively is just a cushion is not enough and we should follow the rules about putting children in the back of the car and making sure the straps are at the right height etc.

As you are probably aware this is a subject very close to my heart and I have done a lot of digging into it - but please do not feel bad on account of my views - I am sure youall strap your children in and make sure that they are as safe as they can be. We are after all sensible responsible parents when it comes to the safety of our children and all we can do is do our best.

I bought 2 child seats when I was a childminder and a booster with seatbelt anchoring points - it cost a fortune but I was being put in charge of someone's precious bundle and it was my responsibility to do what I could (the EU then went and took VAT off of kids seats!!) - but one of the boys I used to pick up (2.5yrs) just used to go out of my front door and jump into the front seat of his mothers car and not even wear a seatbelt - I did tell her that I thought she was completely irresponsible and she did not seem bothered but I still strapped him in everywhere that we went. Another time 3 girls that I used to look after piled into their father's car - already laden with 4 passengers and just sat on their laps - I informed him too that I thought this was disgusting and also let him into the fact that he would not be insured if ina road accident as you are onyl insured to cover as many passengers as their are seats with belts.

WE OWE IT TO OUR CHILDREN AND THOSE WHO DO NOT HAVE PARENTS WHO CARE ENOUGH.

I have found them junior car seats here can't do links www.motherbliss.co.uk they cost £45 .you have not made me feel bad at all but have informed me more and I shall be ordering them as soon as I can afford them.There you see you have made a difference to 3 children's live's so thankyou.Didn't realise the normal booster seats do not give enough protection.

Sorry that post was for Boe

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Re booster seats with adjusters that hold the seat belt off the child's neck, I have 2 Britax ones that do this, 1 in dh's car and 1 in mine. I bought them from Halfords and they do keep dd securely strapped in and with no danger to her neck.

CAM how much are they are they any cheaper than £45 ?

Aloha, your post upset me too, the mental image I got of those poor children made me well up in work. Having said that - knowing that story would make me interfere where I may have previously walked on by (although how could anyone walk by children covered in vomit??) so I do think it was worth typing it out.

They were approx £45, I am talking about the ones which are just the seat part, not with a back.

I'm sorry if I upset anyone. The story was quite widely reported in the papers and it upset me/made me tearful too and I'm not pregnant. But my point was that somebody MUST have seen them - maybe in the early stages - and thought 'none of my business'. It upsets me very much when people say 'dont' interfere' because small children can't defend themselves, and I suppose I wanted to point out that the attitude that children are the property of their parents and we must defer to the parents is not a reasonable one IMO. This woman didn't intend to hurt the children she just didn't think, but I don't think she is solely to blame. I blame everyone who walked past that car and thought 'none of my business'. Quite a few people were pretty cross with me when I said I called the police about two children (of very similar ages to the US kids) who were left alone in locked car on a day when temperatures were in the 80s but when I read that story I felt even more justified. Had that father got away with it on that day, who's to say he wouldn't have left them again and for longer next time? I find I am less and less able to mind my own business where children are concerned. I've even shouted at a woman who was slapping her small daughter round the head. I think the consequences of butting out can be terrible.

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Happycat, my dd and ds have the Britax horizon boosters, which have a seatbelt adjuster. They were around 20 quid from Halfords.
See here
Britax boosters

Tealady I have got these one's already and got them given to me and didn't realise the bottom bits were for that purpose so mine are straped in o.k then.Thank you I love your name by the way.

Hi, I'm new, and wondering, Mieow, what you have decided to do, or not, and what the effect has been.

One thing: The way a message is sent can seriously afffect the way it is received, and you are wanting to be positive, and we rarely see the whole picture. If you go in on the attack, how will you feel if she crumples in tears and shrieks 'I know what the statistics are but my first child died in a burning car because we couldn't get her out of her car seat fast enough'

I was in a supermarket with my one year-old, and a woman said to me, in a really damning tone, "fancy letting a child that age get a sun tan, it can cause cancer in later life you know" I actually felt really sorry for her when I said "my baby's skin colour is inherited from his father, where did you inherit bad manners?". I know she was initially motivated by concern, and one I would agree with: he never goes out without sunscreen, but her tone did nothing but make me angry. Obviously, this is not meant as a parallel situation re risk, but a word on how we choose to intervene. Good Luck, anyway!

I can't do it, I'm a wimp. I can't be 'mum' to everyone and she knows the risks, I'm sure.

Mieow, I think that's entirely understandable and not actually wimpy. I realised I was sounding frightfully bossy in my last message, but I think it was my own reaction to those who favour an immediate intervention. I believe that the truth is, if the right circumstance arises, you will be able to find the right way to mention it. And if it doesn't feel just right, your message will not be heard anyway.
Good Luck