Welcome to the Seventh Heaven Tea Room (BYOB. Biscuits, crisps and cake provided)

[Catitainahatita]

Hello and welcome to the seventh incarnation of the tearoom.

If you have found us by chance and/or curiousity you must know that the tearoom is a virtual safe haven for all those seeking a friendly word, a good cuppa and plenty to snack on. By virtue of its magic nature, no food can cause any physical damage, so chocolate, alcohol, transfat and all such can be consumed guilt- (and magically calorie-) free.

We have a wide range of soft-furnishing to relax on; a lovely garden with a swing and a ha ha; a variety of animals; a spa and (for some unknown reason) an apidistra.

Everyone is welcome, if you have one child, ten or none at all. We are a tolerant and fisticuffs-free zone. Instead we employ our energies swooning at Mellors the Gardner cum handiman thinking a silly things to get up to.

Please come in and say hello. You never know, you may end up joining us ...

Smiles at dog search....

The thing is we haven't had a dog so far because we worry that apartment living simply isn't kind - but we see so many very happy dogs around us living in apartments we started to think it is possible - just with the right breed and all the 'lots of love' we have available for a lovely four legged family addition....

but I am really wondering if it is a good idea, actually....

get a guineapig instead! (or do you already have one? Much simpler!)

not possible - my dh is not a fan of any other kind of pet other than a dog....

A dog is the only animal other than ourselves he would like in our nuclaaaar fammilliiiy....

You can see why I am so 'hmmmmmmmmmm' about this...

yes, get a dog, get a dog, get a dog! we miss DaisyHound big time, and drool over Dog Encyclopaedias a lot! In fact, DH is watching the Dog Whispere now, it's rather like Super Nanny = he is shortly to write a manual of Child Care based on Dog Principles

MadBad did you want to put carrots in buckets because of Women's Hour or did you always know this? I like the idea of low flying bugs being scuppered by galvanised metal

MadBad I think the bishops were ok until they started doing their synchro in the lake - I think that was a teeny tiny step too far....

oh look! The MNBs have got teeny tiny "We love Amber" T shirts on - isn't that sweet?

and there they go, swinging from their teeny tiny liana vines again, oh goodness me, they are throwing the crockery in their excitement to put it away - I have heard of plate spinning, but this is ridiculous!

Let go you teeny tiny fellows! [through gritted teeth emoticon]

so you donm't think you could get away with calling it a miniature Schweinhund and naming it Rover? You think he might notice it was a guineapig?
I guess it refusing to eat pedigree chum would be a dead giveaway, wouldn't it....

Am pausing on my way to bed to give a tedious lecture brief and thrilling talk about growing carrots.

Our soil in the garden and allotment is too stony for growing carrots but there is a variety called Parmex which produces round (ie spherical) carrots and which I have tried for the last couple of years to grow in pots. Last year my carrot harvest was 4. Not 4 tonnes or even 4 pounds but 4 carrots. I had toyed with the idea of growing them in a hanging basket to outwit the root flies but the more sensible gardening books suggest erecting a little screen made out of fleece. A suitable job for the NMBs, perhaps?

I missed Woman's Hour. What did they say?

Until this tea room opened, Gardening was my favourite MN topic.

peeeeerleeease - dog lovers do tell me - how much has this.....

www.justdogbreeds.com/images/breeds/cavalier-king-charles-spaniel.jpg

got in common with 'real spaniels'?

See I love the gentleness of gun dogs (I grew up with two beautiful and loving English setters) and want this kind of dog without the worry that it is cruel to keep them in an apartment - I feel gundogs need open space and countryside on tap to be really well. So - do ckcss have any gun dog characteristics left in them or are we talking pure rat on string here?

T42 suddenly remembers madbad doesn't like dogs....

sorry - I must be getting very boring for you all this going on and on and on about four legs and tails and wet noses!!!!

Gives madbad an unusual looking rose to plant to say sorry- unfortunately the label that said what it is and how to care for it has fallen off.... so Madbad has to go and look up in her gardening library at the back of the teashop what it could possibly be otherwise she won't know exactly how to plant it and care for it....

Mellors seems to be keen on helping her look for an answer....

They seem to be talking about a possible appearance on Gardeners question time to find the answer - how exciting!!!!!!

That's very kind, Tea. It isn't that I dislike dogs - just that I know nothing about them and have nothing useful to contribute to a conversation about them.

It looks as if this rose is Zepherine Drouhin - a beautiful thornless climber - so I shall be asking Mellors to construct a pergola up which to grow it. It'll be a lovely spot to sip our tea later in the summer.

Thank you so much. Mwah! Mwah!

A demain.

Speaking of gardening, I am now going out to put some perennials in the empty spots - it appears the several frosts we had back in February spared the stupid frosthardy pansies but killed half my so-called hardy perennials .

I had a crap day. Starting with waking up to find that Amber felt she had to leave MN. How is it possible to come to care so much for a person I have never, and probably will never, meet in the flesh? But I am sad and bewildered, and I miss her.

Jackbaby and I didn't have a good day together. He was at once clingy and cheeky and mischievous, and got into everything today. I had a headache and felt rushed and pressured and had so much housework to do I didn't know where to start. He only had a short nap so was cranky in the afternoon. And then while I was mopping the kitchen floor he ran in and his feet went out from under him and he hit the back of his head on the floor. It sounded like a wooden shoe hitting the floor. I don't know which one of us cried more, he or I. And of course just at that moment DH walked in. Gah.
I desperately, desperately want a drink.

DS still has the scar on the back of his head from when he was blown over by the wind in the back yard. It was traumatic, mor efor me I think. Seeing as once he'd been kissed better and the magic song sung, he soon cheered up. I, on the otherhand, hd nightmares about it.

Song in the original and a translation to give you a laugh

Sana, sana colita de rana
Si no sana hoy, sanará mañana

Be better, be better little frog tail
If it's not better today, it'll be better tomorrow.

DS loves this song. He even pretends to have hurt himself to get me to sing it. I don't get it at all, myself, but it is the Mexican version of "kiss it better". Works better too, on DS.

I've met Amber (just once) and she's more lovely in person than on here, if that's at all possible

Will pass on your messages, had an early night last night, so signed off early...

Tea - DB and SIL have two CKC spaniels, they're not rats-on-strings (although you must bear in mind that I like the dogs in question, much like I like my neighbours' Jack Russell and therefore don't consider HER a rat-on-a-string either). They've put a lot of effort into training them properly, so they're relatively sane and don't yap or anything awful. DD is rather fond of them.

Tea - I quite like KCC, but they can be a bit lap doggy iykwim. Suitable for apartment living though.

Thumb - it was the Grand Sophy (one of my favourite Heyers) that put me in mind of the italian greyhound. When we get a dog (current agreement is that when DH takes a city job again and we have to have an au pair, we will get a dog) it will probably be a rescue greyhound. We are all very fond of them.

DH used to have a Jack Russell, but they need too much training and discipline imo for a family dog.

MadBad - you need to grow your carrots between rows of onions/garlic/shallots etc. Keeps the carrot fly away nicely - or under mini poly tunnels. My parents tell me all about their organic gardening, and I have had to buy encarsia and nematodes for their birthdays (parents, not encarsia).

I would def call myself a feminist, and epilate my legs. In fact today I am having my eyebrows and lip threaded, in my pre product launch morale booster mode

Morning all.

I'm putting a kettle on for Amber (by request). Anyone else want a cuppa or some toast?

CMoT - what does 'threading' involve - sounds so horrific I've never dared to ask!

Mary - lovely to see you here again today - would you like a cup of tea or anything? If you would like to tell us anything about yourself it would be very warmly greeted - although you don't have to! Most of us have just one child - but some have more or are on the way, or trying.... and that, apart from the appreciation of Amber, is probably all we've got in common - apart from the tearoom of course.

I was a bit and this morning to find my neighbour and a workman on our driveway in front of our garage - he's taken out a hedge and replacing it with a fence. The only trouble is that he has removed a nice holly that was forming the end of our new hedge - he apparently 'didn't notice it' - yes, it was the one that was growing up close to your post that you've had to dig up and removed.... I also think that he might have let us know what he was doing and when he was doing it rather than just arriving in our garden....

Tea and toast please

Threading - imagine taking a long thread, folding it over, holding one end in one hand, the other in your teeth, and the middle in other hand. Twist it, and then roll the twist over the hair. Yanks it all out without taking skin layers off like wax does. More like a really good tweezering with all the tiny hairs coming out

A cup of tea would be good thanks! Eeek at your holly bush, mistlethrush, can it be rescued and replanted? Very annoying and inconsiderate!

OK, I'm Mary, am married with 2 children, a girl aged 9 and a boy aged 7. My son has Asperger's, was diagnosed 19 months ago. That diagnosis hit me quite hard, because all the boxes he was ticking, I ticked too. So last September I got a diagnosis for myself. In between times I'd got to know Amber, on another board, and we became firm friends. Amber helped me through all the problems I had in the inbetween period between realising I had Asperger's and getting that diagnosis. And beyond.

I'm currently unemployed, was made redundant end of March. Which in many ways was a huge relief because I hated working there. I'm sort of looking for another job, but am also "resting"

I'm also near the end of a 3 year part time course to become a "Reader" or "Licensed Lay Minister" in the Church of England. That has been hard work, but very rewarding. A Reader is someone who is not ordained, so is "of the people", but also can do many of the tasks/duties a priest can, as we are theologically trained. So can take services, etc. We cannot celebrate communion, marry people or baptise (except in extremis). But we CAN plant people , I've already identified a few people I'd like to bury .

Pets - I've about 30 koi which we inherited from the previous owners of the house, in a massive pond (that is now fenced off!).

My holly has disappeared without trace .

I believe that Koi can be rather soothing to look at - and get quite tame with the feeding etc. We've not got any tearoom fish at the moment - perhaps we should consider some for the pond and or lake .

Congratulations on nearly finishing your course - I imagine that that must be fairly hard work.

If you had noticed the bishops around the place, I think that they followed Amber in and have decided not to move out ever since - we do have to round them up occasionally and make sure that they are behaving themselves, but mostly they don't interfere with the goings on of the tearoom. Please feel free to interact with them - but its not essential!

My son is just four, has started school and is a 'real' boy - we have lovely cuddles at times and then he's up and racing around, jumping and climbing things... if you can get him to concentrate you'd think he was quite a bit older - and as he is quite tall and mature in his face (for 4) he quite often gets taken for a five or even 6 yo - then acts like a 4 yo and everyone is rather . He also has his father's knack of putting on smart clothes and making them look like a sack of potatoes (dh managed this with a brand new dinner suit and new shirt - even before we'd sung the concert!). Perhaps imagine a younger (and up to date) Just William and you might get close to an appropriate picture....

Koi are soothing yes, and some will eat from my hand, even let me stroke them! Plus there is a nice soothing waterfall to listen to (which is fine if you haven't got a full bladder!)

I've not come across any bishops... are they Amber's bishops and did she leave them behind? I gather bishops are rather partial to cake.

How annoying about your holly bush.

MT - how infuriating about your holly bush! Demand recompense. Or at the very least get him to replant it. Or plant a fast growing and very spiky berberis there instead - that'll teach him!
How very rude.

Am riding the horse of Righteous Indignation at the mo - some troll started an anti-ginger thread last night and I added my mite to it - come on this morning to find some bitch person has called my DH a wanker! Am severely unimpressed.

Where are those Koi - lemme look at them til I calm down....

Don't need asking twice! Picture of koi added to my profile (before I've even put a pic of the kids up!)

Lovely Mary!

Saw the ginger thread TW - gave up - must be a troll mustn't it? I didn't see anything about your dh though - same thread or different?

MN is funny like that isn't it - every now and then there seems to be a general revolt, trolls, nasty threads and nasty comments - and in a few days or a week it will all mainly be back to normal. I just try to keep my head down in those times and stay here!

Hello everyone.

I am sitting here with smooth and slightly sticky legs, having had an emergency waxing to remove what looked like knee-length mohair socks . I am v interested in Cmot's account of lip waxing although I would never need such treatment myself .

Yes, I've heard the thing about growing carrots near alliums, but it wouldn't solve the problem of stony, lumpy soil causing the carrots to fork. Hence the experiment with pots (I was going to say pot experiment but that sounded rather ambiguous ).

Good to see you again, MaryBS. Did I see on another thread that you got a distinction in your exam? You have been hiding your light under a bushel. I can't remember exactly how the bishops arrived. It may (ancient and addled memory) have been because in our first, idyllic location the tea room garden backed onto the cathedral garden. And at one point we hosted an ecumenical conference. Or did Justa bring them with her? It's all so long ago.

Thumb - There are some ill-mannered people on MN, sadly. Mellors is standing guard at the tea room door. They shall not enter. I have also asked Mellors to (a) visit the aquatic supply shop to buy some koi for the pond and (b) take a cutting of the holly bush for Mistle.

So, anyone for lettuce, pea and lovage soup and a lewd roll?

(Explanation for MaryBS - Mistle Junior makes all our bread rolls, which are modelled on rockets and can sometimes look a little, ahem, surprising)

MT - it was right at the end of that thread - after I had gone to bed, some one quoted what I had said about DH and called him a wanker.

MadBad- good to know Mellors is keeping the rudesbies at bay! am slightly at the thought of you having sticky legs...

maryBS - very impressed with what you've been doing!