Welcome to the Seventh Heaven Tea Room (BYOB. Biscuits, crisps and cake provided)

[Catitainahatita]

Hello and welcome to the seventh incarnation of the tearoom.

If you have found us by chance and/or curiousity you must know that the tearoom is a virtual safe haven for all those seeking a friendly word, a good cuppa and plenty to snack on. By virtue of its magic nature, no food can cause any physical damage, so chocolate, alcohol, transfat and all such can be consumed guilt- (and magically calorie-) free.

We have a wide range of soft-furnishing to relax on; a lovely garden with a swing and a ha ha; a variety of animals; a spa and (for some unknown reason) an apidistra.

Everyone is welcome, if you have one child, ten or none at all. We are a tolerant and fisticuffs-free zone. Instead we employ our energies swooning at Mellors the Gardner cum handiman thinking a silly things to get up to.

Please come in and say hello. You never know, you may end up joining us ...

Catita so glad you like the present!

Mistle ooor you and your fall - let us know aobut the Dr - they will probably just say watch it - but if in doubt go to A&E and have a scan - heeds poor Amber's DH warning....

Racing I am sending you a bit (((hug))) in a supportive way because you sound very bleak. I suspect your Llama friend didn't realise you were actually still really keen to meet up - may have thought you were saying "well if it's not all 3 of us, let's rearrange" and didn't note the sort of longing between the lines - can you not invite yourself and wriggle over to help with de-catting or whatever? Maybe ring back and say you are a bit disappointed and really really wanted to meet up? When I am needy and want support it amazed me that people don't realise - it is hard to learn you sometimes need actually to articulate these things...

I thikn Mellors needs to get his lardy arse back from JM's other tea room and give you a foot massage...

hugs to all others, scarfs sausage and bacon and tea from Catita's pile and heads back to work!

Don't worry DCMB this is bonafide bacon and sausage from the butchers around the corner from my mum's. No tearoom pigs were involved in their creation.

Fancy some fried bread to go with it?

Have I died and gone to heaven?

oh, and Tea, the best dog (other than size) is one of these

DCMB don't eat a cat - have some more sausages!

Mm, fried bread, definitely better than a lightly buttered moggy. I'll give the tomato a miss though, egg, bacon, sausage and fried bread will do nicely.

Woah, the jaffa cake loaf is ready!

If you pass me a slice DCMB, I am sure my puddding compartment will still have a little room!

Here you go Catita, I've put a slightly belated birthday candle in your slice. It's my birthday tomorrow - this is actually my birthday cake, kind of, I'm going to take whatever is left (after DH and DD get their hands on it) to work.

You picked a good month to be born DCMB. Very auspicious.

Evening, ladies. Gosh, those health care types are demanding. They won't even allow a chap to spend time in his shed. It's good to be back home.

Mellors! how nice to see you back, would you like a back rub to ease your own aching muscles?

Amazing how many of us have birthdays all around the same time - that's 4 in April or May. Happy birthday DCMB.

Tea - do not get a Bassett hound. We had one when I was a child. The key to the problem is in the word 'hound'. It needed to run for miles and miles and miles (impossible in France due to predominance of kilometers hee hee). It went off and hunted. We used to look for it with binnoculars (literally) when we wanted it for something. It ate everything. Finally it ate rat poison and died. We were heartbroken.

Funnily enough, greyhounds are supposed to be very quiet dogs who need rather little exercise and space - just a good 20 mins walk a day I am told.

Don't have a border collie or bc cross either. I adore RacingDog, but she is very needy and whines a lot. She would really like to be Baby II.

Probably Llama Friend did think I wasn't very keen; I've read my e-mail again. But llamas should also probably come first. I mean, they have come all the way from Tibet. Will check with AA site how long it would take me to drive to her house, but think it would be longer than my comfort limit of 1 hr to 1.5 hrs. And involve motorways around Southampton.

RS - I have to admit that the lack of necessity of exercise is a major influence in my thoughts on getting a whippet!

My other choice, bizarrely, would be an Irish Wolfhound, because, despite the hound appellation, apparently they don't need a large amount of exercise (according to a friend of mine who had one). But they are a bit big and a bit hairy, so I'm going for the whippet instead.

I don't think I've said a proper thank you to everyone in here for the absolutely lifesaving support you've lent these last couple of days. I think I would have sunk without trace if it wasn't for the shelter of here and the chance to think about something else and be amongst friendly faces (well, not faces, what would be the right word??)

Thank you!

(Have tried to get Mumsnet to think of some way I can stay safe in the SN bit and we can all still respect people's needs, but they're not responding at all, which isn't very helpful for anyone).

Thumbwitch, what ARE you doing in that shed with Mellors!

nuthin!

• just bashing a few muscles that have got a bit stiff from overwork!

hi all. I'm brezing in frm a differnt study today- I'm baby sitting. Its rather like being at home but teh TV is better as they have digital and we do not and teh anlogue signal ws switched off 2 days ago.
this desk is higher too. i beliveve there maybe a piano key board hiden under the deskk top.

I woke boy up after 3 hours this afternoon... he was subsequently in a lovely mood for the rest of teh afternoon- all 3 hours of it.

Did some one surgest a fry up? yes please, fried bread is my big favourite. with brown sause to dip in. Now I'm not working much I don;t have many cafe brekfasts.

actuly the Tv isn;t much better- there's not much on tonight is there.
You tube here i come.

You're welcome!

Urgent TV alert.

George Clooney on ER at 9pm. For those who are interested. Not me, obviously. I prefer Advanced Thermodynamics on the OU channel. ]

A whippet is not a dog. Friends had two and by their behaviour they were definitely cats in dog costume. I did not take to them and I love all animals. I do also really like cats, as long as they are being cats.

DCMB - a good cat is a great pet, as good as a dog imo. Wriggle has a cat who loves being pulled around by the tail, comes out gardening with us and follows everything we do intently. He sits on the edge of her bath and likes to wrestly with the dog. I once had a cat which retrieved pingpong balls and toys and came for walks. I had another cat who used to travel up to Newcastle with me on the train sitting on the table and eating Mars bars ....

Doctor appointment 10 to 4. So saw the Dr at 4.50pm. He was a bit concerned and thought that I should go and get checked out and 'booked me in' to a&e. So got to a&e - queue - showed Drs referal notes - ignored, took all the same details and said sit and wait. So see the 'charge nurse' 55mins after I saw the receptionist (having waited 5 mins in queue) - passed Drs referal - you'll have to see someone else - go and wait in the main a&e waiting area. An hour and a bit later A&E Dr did exactly the same tests and sent me home.

But it was still worth it just in case. Honestly.

What about a whippet lurcher?

RS, SSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Don't let DH hear you say that, I'll never be allowed to have one! he loathes cats, adores dogs and birds and if he thought for one second that I had found the missing link between cat and dog, whippets would be banned as well! Still, at least the whippets won't kill the birds (I hope!)

MT - jolly good thing you went, honest. despite the wait. Although I don't think much of your A&E's response, tbh.

Mellors is MUCH looser now and able to take up his duties with renewed vigour (although he might feel a tad battered around the shoulder region for a bit [evil]

Screaming Orgasm, anyone?

Hmmmm. I'm a bit tired tonight so will settle for a Slow Comfortable ... oh, you know.

Sorry. Only just noticed that Racing has sustained another battering from an Insensitive Friend. Nothing to suggest apart from slipping a mouse trap into her handbag,to catch her unawares when she is next rummaging for the baby wipes.