The One and Only Tea Room: Tea, muffins and champagne served at all hours

[BoccaDellaNativita]

Well folks, here we are!

We were on the brink of filling the old thread so I thought we'd better start a new one now. There was a rumour that we were going to be evicted from our old premises, but we managed right at the last minute to get an extension on the lease. So it's business as usual. We're still in our charming old tea room, overlooking our beautiful garden complete with ha-ha and duck pond. And Mellors the gardener.

Please come and join us for a celebratory drink.

I think I saw Mellors in the distance, galloping bare back across the hills. He seems to have taken to the role of horseman with enthusiasm, rather to the detriment of the tea room garden, which had briefly been showing promise.

Yes, we had a great hack, and then worked on his dressage. I tucked him up with some nice lucerne hay

Mellors ... bare ... in the same sentence?

Hello and thanks for invite! I'm finally popping in. Can I have a large drink please?

Just wondering, how come there's a tea room for one child families (or is there one for larger families too)?

By the way, I have one DD who is 2 years 9 months. I think she's going to be an only, at least that's the current thinking!

Hello takingitslowly!!!!

Thanks for joining us - actually we have lots of large drinks...

What flavour incahowl would you be going for?

The tearoom opened as a refuge from a rather passionate thread by an mner called madbad. Unfortunately she was carried away to some sort of assylum where legend has it she watches James Bond on repeat and Bocca has kindly taken the place of tearoom hostess and has turned this tearoom into what it is today.

It has evolved into a bit of a refuge - somewhere to daydream away the hours either partying until late or munching on cakes and sipping tea while thinking about this that and the other if you want or quite frankly not much at all!!!

We have a horse called Earl Grey, a guinea-pig called racingpig and all cakes are baked by everyone in the aga... oh... not to forget Mellors - everyones favourite gardener!!!

Take a seat... urm... not that one its broken - or that one - that is where racingpig lives - yes - the rocking chair is very comfy especially by the fire - now what drink did you want? And tell us, how was your day?!?

Hello, Slowly. How lovely to see you!

What kind of large drink would you like? We usually have champagne and gin and tonic, and I did hear a rumour that Bocca was researching chocolate-based cocktails.

We were just discussing our problem gardener/handyman and our new horse, which we think was a present from the new My Little Pony topic. Are you, or dd, by any chance keen horsewomen? Due to the magic of the tea room, if you want to be, you will be.

Mums of larger families are welcome to drop in at any time, if they promise to play nicely. This tea room was set up as a refuge from those out there who would keep picking arguments. Anyone who just likes to drink champagn, eat twiglets and admire George Clooney is always welcome.

I didn't see you there, Tea! Thank goodness I am not alone with the responsibility of entertaining our new customer. I babble when nervous.

Hello, takingitslowly. Good to see you.

You asked why there's a tea room. Let me tell you the Legend of the Tea Room.

Once upon a time, when the one child topic was first set up, there were a lot of arguments (some of them quite heated) about whether there should be a topic at all. Some people thought that there were enough issues specific to only children to merit a separate topic. Others didn't. And then there were some fierce arguments about whether celebrating one child families (as some of the earliest threads did) was an insult to or attack on larger families.

So, a very great woman called MadBadandDangerousToKnow, who was both beautiful and wise, opened a tea room where anybody who wanted to escape from the fighting could have a cup of tea, a muffin and a nice sit down. She thought she'd probably have to shut up shop after a couple of days, but the customers kept coming. Following an unfortunate accident when she was concussed by the tea room door, MadBad had to retire to the MN Home for the Bewildered and she appointed me as locum manager, although I don't do much managing as the tea room operates on a help yourself basis and we have an honesty box.

I don't know whether the larger families topic has a tea room. I'm sure they could if anyone wanted to open one. Meanwhile, everyone is welcome here. We tend to pass the time in general chat (sometimes about parenting an only child, sometimes about Mellors the legendary tea room gardener), scoffing cake and in the evenings drinking champagne or gin and tonic. We had mulled wine recently, too. Oh, and we have a resident guinea pig (racingpig) and have just acquired a horse (Earl Grey).

I've waffled on long enough.

What brings you here? Would you like a drink? You might be more comfortable in one of the armchairs by the fire - racingpig has eaten most of the stuffing from one end of the sofa.

I also get a little flustered when talking to new people. Did you notice how I said the tearoom started as a refuge and evolved into a refuge???? - WHAT???? This repetition of 'refuge' was due to my excited nerves!!!

Have we scared takingitslow away????? We did all rather pounce on her!

Oh no. I am such a slow and doddery old dear that Tea and Racingsnake had already ushered takingitslowly in before I got here.

Have you noticed the cardboard cutout of Mr Clooney? We normally keep him it near the window, to lure in women of Bocca's age our discerning clientele.

I haven't researched the chocolate cocktails yet, so would you like a large glass of champagne? Or a huge gin and (not much) tonic?

Can I have a very large G&T please? Its been ONE OF THOSE days. Funeral of colleague. And, dh announced at 4.45 yesterday that his company is going bust, please could I come and pick him up so that he could get all of his own personal stuff home. Turns out that there won't be any redundancy money even. Does result in rather paniced waking in the middle of the night wondering what we'll do.

Oh - and ds head-butted me last night as I was settleing him down and gave me a nosebleed (he didn't mean to - at least, I think he didn't) and crying during the funeral set it off again - just what you want.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=75m2CsEBLsE

Quickly turns off daft music and hugs M.T!!!

What a bloody lot to be dealing with - I am angry and sad for you!!!! Come and sit by the fire with the dogs... they are looking very cuddly tonight!

Oh, mistlethrush. What a day! Would you like a hug? Or a supportive pat on the arm? How are you feeling now? How is your DH? Feel free to vent here if that would help.

What is that, Tea? Is that a popular beat combo whose platters have been highly placed in the hit parade? If we're thinking slow, this might be good.

But Bocca she is called takingitslow not niceandslow!!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lCzIMacsEs

Yes, Tea, even in my champagne-addled state (I never drink gin) I can tell the difference between taking it slow and nice and slow. But that was the soundtrack of my life and I thought it might be fun to have a slow theme!

Anyway, we must now concentrate on MT. Adam and the Ants must make anybody smile for a moment!

Good idea - shall we combine our G&Ts in the bucket we bought for Earl Grey - but haven't yet used - to make one 'specially massive G&T? 'tis also s drink I know nothing of but the boy who fell off the table and on top of me - at earlier mentioned student party infact knew quite a lot about!!!

Oooooohhh - Actually on second thoughts - thinking about the falling boy again the bucket perhaps is not advised - shall we just offer her a normal sized G&T in my great Grandmother's crystal handmade glass with a gold leaf rim??? - I think it is more MTs style!!! Here is a silver tray to put it on - you give it to her Bocca... goooowwwaaaarrrn....

Who, me?

She seems to have fallen asleep - what shall we do?... I think there are some nice lavender scented patchwork quilts and Indian cotton sheets upstairs... I will go and get some and perhaps you could find some really nice pillows, Bocca?

On this little stool by the sofa I have also put some of your homemade muesli - I know she really likes that.

Poor Mistle! I wonder what line of business her dh operatates in. And a nose bleed at the funeral! I did notice RacingHound was lying right on top of her in a most consoling manner. At least I hope she finds it consoling.

Off to work now, then the funeral of the dh of one of my colleagues who is also the granddad of one of my class. What a time we are all having! Surely it can only get better.

Ah, now I remember the history of the tea room. I thought we just had a tea room cos we've got nothing better to do.

Right, I think I'm going to ride Earl Grey to work today and see if they REALLY have to provide me with a mooring for him, or whatever it is horses get (I know he's not a boat; hey we could HAVE a boat ...) ... I'll just tie a note to his tack and send him home if not.

Blimeyheck Mistlethrush- hope the gin from the tea room helped....and that dh is OK-ish....

Hello TakingItSlowly- welcome to sanity....

Must say in my efforts to unpack suitcases (or soup-cases as Bucharestina calls them) hadn't noticed George there in the corner....does it have to be George? I've never really got him? I think I'll just concentrate on watching Mellors and his bare back shenanigans instead......