The One and Only Tea Room: Tea, muffins and champagne served at all hours

[BoccaDellaNativita]

Well folks, here we are!

We were on the brink of filling the old thread so I thought we'd better start a new one now. There was a rumour that we were going to be evicted from our old premises, but we managed right at the last minute to get an extension on the lease. So it's business as usual. We're still in our charming old tea room, overlooking our beautiful garden complete with ha-ha and duck pond. And Mellors the gardener.

Please come and join us for a celebratory drink.

Oh MT, I'm so sorry. That must have been a real shock. Have a hug/supportive pat

If there's any RL networking your DH could do with some help with, please shout.

Bucharest - George doesn't do it for me either. You can always have your own cardboard cutout though.

Am awaiting plane to Glasgow. CMOTiddler told me that I was going dancing today. If only eh ?

Oh can I? Goody. I shall nip over to KerryMum's Keanu thread and pinch hers then.

(I know he's a shite actor, it ain't a fillum I want to watch with him, acksherly)

Why are you going to Glasgow Cmot? We flew back to A$$ End on Sunday with Bucharestina very excitedly wishing the plane would "land" on the sea so we could all go down the Big Slide. Hmmm.

For a boring meeting at the Cancer centre, where I get to talk for 30 minutes about my software developments, but I can't actually tell them about what will be in the April release as they don't have a confidentiality agreement. But they pay my company a stupid amount of money a year for all our equipment that they have, and are a reference centre, so we have to be nice.

DS thinks that planes are the most exciting thing in the world, and that I just fly around when away. Mind, he was excited all day yesterday as we were going to pick DH up from the railway station in the evening. He considers this a huuuuge treat

I'm glad that Bucharest thinks the tea room represents sanity (or did she mean that she does)?

By all means bring your own cardboard cut-out of Keanu Reeves, but please don't put him anywhere near me. You are very welcome to him! And George keeps pride of place by the window. That is the rule. OK?

Even though we use it quite often, BabyBocca still thinks that the train is the acme of travelling perfection.

Hugs, supportive pats and warm thoughts going out to everyone who's having a grim time at the moment.

Oops I wasn't a very good guest! I popped in then buggered off to sleep. Thanks for all the welcomes in any case. Like the name "nice and slow" - maybe I should change it. [smile}]

Have read that other thread you mentioned so kind of know where you're coming from now! It did get somewhat heated didn't it?

Hello again, takingitslowly. The kettle's boiled now - would you like a cup of tea?

Oh yes please.

Great! What would you like? We have all the usual selections (all fair trade, of course) plus some interesting herbal concoctions that people have donated - mandarin and kumquat and the like. Plus muffins ....

Earl Grey would be nice. And maybe a savoury muffin if you have any of those.

So can I ask ... are you all 100% decided about your only child status?

Here's a cup of Earl Grey and a cheese and cherry tomato muffin.

That's a perfectly reasonable question, especially in here. I'll leave it to others to say what they want to about their status as a parent of an only child, but I think i's fair to say that, between us, we have all arrived here by very different routes and choices. Some always intended to have just one child, others hoped for more but have been disappointed. It hasn't always been a free choice.

For me, the decision was taken out of my hands by biology. We had massive fertility problems and were incredibly lucky that we ended up with our delightful daughter, BabyBocca. But having more treatment in the hope of a second child was never an option, so I have learned to count my blessings.

How about you?

Hello again...ooooh savory muffins, my favourites.....

I'm an only-by-choice I s'pose. I'm an only myself, as is my Dad, I never saw anything remotely negative about it- quite the opposite, and was 38 when Bucharestina was born so felt that having achieved perfection first time round that was me full.

(I do get squidgy inside at newborns though. Until they're sick on me)

Thanks Bocca, just what I need.

Ah ok, I see. Sorry to hear about your problems but glad you are so happy with Babybocca.

As for me, DD was born 2 months early, I had awful PND and really struggled in the early days.

It was only when DD turned 2 that I started to entertain the idea of a second child.

We tried for 5-6 months and nothing happened. Went to the docs and discovered I have thyroid and low progesterone problems. So now we're at the point where I should be having HSG and poss starting clomid.

But as the time's has gone on, I've become feel less and less sure about a second one.
In fact, when I think about having an only, I actually feel peaceful!!

So don't think I'm going to go ahead with clomid etc or anymore investigations. It does feel like a weight has been lifted. Does that make sense?

Yes, that makes sense.

No need to be sorry about our problems. We overcame them, we have a child, and we're happy. When she was about two, I did spend a lot of time wincing when friends announced pregnancies or droned on at great length about how difficult it was going to be with two children and really it was so much simpler with one (which it may be, but if they really thought that, why were they pregnant?) but that was years ago now!

Some of the old threads here have tried to highlight the positive side of having one child. Of course, threads in 'larger families' and elsewhere will highlight the positive side of having more than one. Being a family of three works well for us and for many other families too.

I know that being offered fertility treatmnt can be a real dilemma. We were lucky in that the treatment worked quickly for us, but deciding whether to have treatment, how much to have or when to stop can be very difficult. Have you spoken to anybody on the TTC threads about any of this?

We too had great fertility problems, so are really lucky with Wrigglesnake.

She was born 8 weeks early and was absolutely fine, but we spent 5 weeks in hospital and saw what can happen when it is not fine. So it rather suprised me that we tried again, but it all went wrong at Easter.

Now I feel that we were very lucky that it was so early on. I don't think you could ever recover from losing a baby much later on (I have some experience but only of fairly early mc's) or losing a premature baby. I don't know what we were thinking of!

But I still feel very sad sometimes. And now that WS is 2, I hardly seem to know anyone who isn't pregnant/hasn't got a new born. so I often need to seek refuge in the tea room.

That being said, have been spending a lot of time looking after a 5 year old friend of WS because her mother has a new baby. The squabbling! The endless interventions to induce sharing/kindness! It's more like school than home. I am beginning to see advantages to our 3-fold family.

Oh racingsnake. I don't think you have told us before about WS's first few weeks. It must have been an awful time.

Would you like a cup of tea? There are still plenty of the savoury muffins. Plus a hug or supportive pat on the arm if you would like one.

And I'm just about to heat up some soup - I feel like an early lunch today. What flavour shall we have?

Guess we were in the same boat as you Racingsnake. Also SCBU can be very difficult just being there, even if your DC is doing well. The prem thing does play a lot on my mind, would it happen again etc?

Soup sounds lovely Bocca. Chicken soup?

Yes, hug and supportive pat on the arm would be quite in order I think. Have just had to go for a Brisk Walk to get over the op.

Soup sounds great, particularly as I forgot to take lunch to work today. I have just made a rather nice celariac soup (which is, of course, at home in RL)

Actually the time in scbu was great. Ws was strong and had no problems at all (and still hasn't, in spite of dire predictions about not being able to breathe on her own, deafness, meningitis (as in reason why she might have been born so early), dealayed development, etc). I was just so happy to have her and the staff were great. I am obviously the sort of person who was born to be institutionalised. I very soon got into looking forward to lemon meringue pudding on Thursdays and wandering down to get my toast in the mornings.

In contrast, the night when I thought I was losing her before I was hooked up to the monitor to hear her steady heartbeat through the whole birth process was not good. Other people complain about too much intervention and being attached to machines - every time they tried to take it off me I begged to have it back!

During the whole process her heart never even speeded up. I can only think that she came out because she just wanted to get on with things. She has been like that ever since.

On the other hand, I feel that I missed out on a very important part of my pregnancy; the bit where everyone knows and makes a fuss of you. I had only just told people (had lost two before) and then a fortnight later it was all over. Knowing that I will never have another one makes me feel shortchanged of an important experience.

And I got the 'various veins'anyway!!! There is no justice.

I looked into the 'would it happen again?' question and was told that babies conceived with a lot of intervention are often premature, as you get older it is more likely and it can run in families. I meet several people in hospital having their second/third/fourth prem. So it did look quite likely.

((Hug))
((Supportive pat on arm))
((Possibly overstepping the mark: quick shoulder massage))

Chicken soup sounds just the ticket - haven't had any for ages. Although I love the look of celeriac and have tried to persuade SignorBocca to grow it on the allotment for ornamental purposes, I just can't get to like the taste. Perhaps it comes over time - like the taste for beer?

I hope soon also to unveil some carrot and apple muffins. While searching through my books for the apricot, coconut and pineapple muffin recipe for Cmot, I noticed another recipe which somehow I had always managed to overlook.

Try it grated raw with a mustardy creamy dressing a la francaise. Very nice.

I have (emabarrassed to admit here of all places) never liked muffins. But then I have never tried Bocca's root vegetable muffins.

Celeriac is not easy to grow, unless you are content to have a little wizened tentacually Medusa head about the size of a gold ball.

I mean the celariac, of course, not you.

Let's put Mellors on to developing a potager next to the orchard out there. some double digging might bring him back to earth after all this bare back gallopping about. And we need to find a use for all this horse manure. We could send him over to the My Little Pony topic with the wheel barrow.

"...unless you are content to have a little wizened tentacually Medusa head about the size of a gold ball."

Based on the not universal popularity of muffins, here are some 'designer' cupcakes - you know the sort - that you need to get lots of equipment to decorate and spend about 20mins on each to perfect. These are lemon ones and have lemon butterflies on top as part of the decoration.

Sorry I abandoned you after my announcement last night - was just feeling rather .... and thinking I should go to bed sooner rahter than later last night! The patchwork quilt I woke up under was lovely - reminded me of some of the patchwork I did when I was younger...

DH is an IT manager - although has not been utilised to his full extent in the current job - he's really an IT architect, with management skills (he's rather unusual in that he can do the 'techie' bit but can also talk to non-techies (such as me!) in a way that can be understood) So, anyone knowing anyone that wants a really good manager/programmer, please let me know!

I love celeriac - my parents used to grow it in the garden (and it was always about 15cm across (at least)) - RS how have you tried growing it in the past?

TIS Ds is an only due to circumstances rather than choice. He took 6yrs to arrive (during which time I got to the top of the NHS IVF list 2x and had 4 months chemo due to mp). Since ds have had 2 mc, the 1st of which led me to think mp coming back for about 3months. I think dh has been put off by the repeated mc - but also, in the current economic situation (particularly as ds is at private school) perhaps its better that we only have one.

Wow! Getting to the top of the NHS list once, let alone twice! I rather thought you had to go on that at birth. Or at least here you do.

Good to see you again, Mistlethrush. I see you've been using the recipes from My Gorgeous Gourmet Life: How To Get The Best From Your Designer Kitchen And Live In Perfect Foodie Heaven. Those cupcakes are works of art and smell delicious. Thank you so much.

I don't really have any useful contacts in IT but, if I hear of anything suitable, of course I'll let you know. How are things at home now?

Would you like a nourishing drink? Or even (in moderation or not, as you prefer) an intoxicating one?