Would anyone like a cup of tea and a muffin?

[MadBadandDangerousToKnow]

I'm tired and in need of refreshment.

The tea room is now officially open, serving hot chocolate, tea, freshly-squeezed orange juice and a range of home-baked muffins. Tablecloths and crockery are charmingly mismatched antiques (no Cath Kidston here). We overlook an attractive although somewhat overgrown garden, with a distant view of rolling countryside.

Everyone is welcome but house rules dictate that anyone indulging in fisticuffs will be ejected.

Please come in.

Well good morning everybody. So lovely to see so many familiar faces and some new customers, too. Welcome bbpants and mrsmortenharket!

Yes, it is true that the tea room often has to operate on a help-yourself-and-drop-some-money-in-the-honesty-box basis. As regular customers will know, we never actually close and are generally busy from about 9am with the breakfast crowd and until quite late in the evening (when wine and gin tend to replace the organic fair-trade tea, coffee and hot chocolate as everyone?s favourite drink). The working time directive means that, much as I would like to, I can?t be on duty at the tea room at all the times that it is busy and, besides, I do sometimes have to go in search of new and interesting ingredients for our range of delicious home made cakes, not to mention the quirky antique fixtures and fittings which make this tea room the epitome of retro cool.

How fantastic that we now have the makings of a tea room musical ensemble. I have mentioned on another thread that I can play Do-Re-Mi from the Sound of Music on a Little Tikes xylophone. Can I please be in the ensemble?

Lady Bracknell voice: More shop bought cake?

Hello Bocca and Daisy

I'd just like to say thank you for the lovely welcome I've had in this marvellous institution establishment.

I have to zip off now, but will return with a dairy-free chocolate sponge (it's the only non-shop bought cake I do, I'm afraid!)

Oh hello everyone. Did you all have a nice lunch? I see that the sacks of flour are now in the pantry. Did I miss MrsMortenHarket's delicious dear husband? Oh dearie me.

bbpants - a chocolate sponge would be lovely. In fact, could we sign a contract for a regular supply? This is a fair trade tea room and so we pay a living wage.

Or, at least, we try to.

I do hope this tea room can become an institution, in the sense of a much loved establishment and a sanctuary and safe haven if it ever gets squally again out on the main topic (which I fervently hope it never will). But I trust, bbpants dear, that you weren't trying to suggest that we might be some sort of penal institution or detention facility. It was a sad day when MadBad was carted off to the MN State Home for the Bewildered but we are not that sort of institution at all.

Now who's for some cake?

Daisy flaps Bocco with her Cath Kidston pinny and tries to pat her hand

I promise i will bake at the weekend, but it is so busy in the week, with only the Mary Janes to worry about that I just ran to the deli these poor new folk were about to faint after all the guitar exertion...

Any chance of a coffee ?

Am uninspired at work today. The downside of working at home is that there is always something to do, and as we are temporarily sans cleaner, my distraction today was sorting out the kitchen. And folding laundry. And popping to the farm shop.

Daisy - DS likes singing. He also likes me to sing, but only what he requests. Its like toddler 'Name that Tune' as you get 'sing EI' 'sing swing' 'sing mousey' and you have to work out what that is, and then perform. If appropriate, with the correct signs.
It will be bad this evening as it was Jo Jingles at nursery, so he'll be full of songs.

And I'll have to sing all the way to my parents tomorrow (1.5 hours), and then theres 4 hours in the car with them all in Saturday to go and see long lost Gt Aunt

Good morning!!
This bloody time difference is making me mental, I come in whinging for coffee (brief aside - may I please have a double-shot latte? Thank you!!) with eyelids half open and you're all already on to the booze for the day! It does have the advantage that I can (wo)man the bar counter while some of you are sleeping, in case any late night mums come in looking for respite.
Welcome bbpants and mrsmortenharket!! So nice to meet you! It's true, I come in to the cafe all the way from the West Coast of Canada. Fortunately, with the new "instant teleportation" technology exclusively available on Mumsnet, this is not as difficult as it sounds.

We had a lovely five days away... now I have to face the reality of a very busy work-day. Could I have another double-shot latte, please, in a take-away cup? Must go have a shower and get ready to fix people's sore backs/necks/whatever...
By the way, there was a hilarious thread yesterday or the day before, on Chat, called, "What do you do in the shower?" I must have a filthy mind because I don't know what I was expecting when I opened it, but the OP just wanted to know people's shower routines... it got really funny as people wrote in, some listing a lengthy spa-type routine (which they apparently do every day) and others who leap in, soap, and leap out, were gobsmacked at the routine... anyway... funy! [grin}

Cmot - my DS also loves singing I just wish we could have a variant on EI EI O

mind you, what am I saying, he sang the first two lines of Happy Birthday To You for about 4 hours at the weekend

jacksmama - hello! Are you an osteopath or chiropractor or someting along those lines? We haven't had any massage available in the tea room spa and chill zone since pagwatch's (um) interesting muffin-based therapy on our opening day, so I was just wondering ...?

By the way, a propos showers, there was a thread a little while ago in which a MNer was trying to steel herself for letting her child spend the night at someone else's house for the first time. It culminated in her and her husband having a romantic night away, in which she sustained a sex-related injury in the shower. I'll try to find the thread ....

I'm a chiropractor, also do lots of muscle-work - shall I bring my portable table some time and show off my skills? Very mumsnet related as I have a large patient-base of pregnant women who love my magic sciatica treatment .

Ohhh, do find the sex-related injury in the shower thread!!! It sounds hilarious!!

jacksmama - yes, please! I have a permanently knotted shoulder as a result of excessive time on the computer. Can you untangle it?

The sex-related injury thread was this one. Actually it was a lovely thread because it had such a happy ending (of which the SRI was a very minor part). MN at its best.

Teafortwo puts on some chill out music on the cd player and prooves she is still quite cool by ignoring the earlier a-ha comment.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XonJJbV54BE

T42 notices there is a bit of a funny smell so lights an inncence stick and promises to find actual route cause in the morning when she is a bit more awake...but secretly hopes someone-else will do it. Next she helps herself to a stubby larger and puts a few euros in the honesty box then crashes on a big floor cushion.

Hi Jacksmama, Bocca and daisy - Can I ask you something... My daughter has started to refer to the waterpump round the corner from our apartment as Daddy...Does anyone know - is this a normal developmental stage????

Tea - huh??? The waterpump???? Golly... wish I had an answer for you.
Perhaps you could post a picture of the water pump and a picture of your DH and we could comparethe two?
Seriously... I'm not nottaking you seriously, that's just pretty funny. Odd, yes. Let me check my developmental psych text from school. Will get back to you.

Nope, no clue. Sorry...
Have you asked her why she calls the water pump "Daddy"?

No. Am mystified. Does your dear partner really resemble a piece of old ironmongery? Somehow I doubt it. Is it because the water pump is essential to sustaining life, just like daddy?

Mind you, I'm also mystified by this Laura Marling. Is she a recording artiste? Have any of her records been in the hit parade?

Bwwaaaaaaaaaaah, haaaaa, haaaa - thanks for taking the daft water pump question seriously!!! - It was asked with tongue extremely very firmly in cheek!!!!

But to answer your further questions - I did say "DD, Why do you think that water pump is your Daddy?" And she said "Yes. Bwwwowwwken. Daddy."

So my conclusion is either she thinks Daddy will mend it or as it sits there doing not much she has confused it with her father !!!!

• However, to be honest he has cooked dinner tonight and I have just been sitting here doing not much - so maybe tomorrow she will change its name to Mummy!!!

Interesting I do occasionally lurk on toddlernet and I noticed a post in AIBU by a milkfortwo saying "AIBU To call a broken waterpump Daddy?" Obviously - it is getting quite a whipping!!!! However - in the general cries of YABU she does have a few supporters - maybe by next week she will have organised a topic called "families with waterpumps for Fathers"!!!!

psssssssssssssssst - hurry up Bocca - we are waiting for you to put something on the record player!!!!!

Oh golly! I doubt you would care for my records as my taste is decidedly vieux chapeau. But shapes were being thrown earlier to Eric Clapton, so,

lava lamps on - check

sofa pushed back - check

rug rolled up - check

Laydees and gennelmen, I give you Mr Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones

Oh Bocca - you were so busy dancing that you forgot to put the needle down... here let me help you... Kkkkeeeeeeehhhrrr kkkkaaaa (oooh - sorry I am of the cd generation - it is quite tricky - but admittedly not as tricky as all this downloading cr*p!)....

T42 takes another beer and looks in earnest at the LP cover - MN Best of the Stones - it has a babygrow on it you can actually do up and undo aaaaarrrr...

Track one
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfcisnVHtA0

Track two
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx07A9LWBJA&feature=related

Track three
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DI6WA-2CgyE&feature=related

Track four
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuTiTfbfy7Q&feature=related

Track five
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RTWzsGO4Zc

T42 notices Bocca has gone all misty eyed... HEY Bocca... please don't fall in love with them because if you do they will leave you feeling like this...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KV-PTK0UZ4

Tea - that is so kind. Track 3 is my favourite Rolling Stones song (deeply sexist as it may be). But even though I am an old dear who manages a tea shop - the coolest tea shop for miles around, thanks to all you bright young things - I'm not quite that old. This, though, is the anthem of my mis-spent youth.

.

Oi!!! It's just after midnight, where are you all??

"Have temporarily abducted plant because it is in need of rest and refreshment as well. Will return plant if usual suspects show up in cafe tomorrow morning and ply JM with cookies."

Sorry Jackmama you should have heard me (and Bocca) just around (my) midnight!!!! (Brown Sugar quote!!!)

So... T42 reads note about plant, realises the funny smell has gone - oh so it was the plant that smelt - I was hoping someone would sort that out and decides on a pot of tea this morning - pops a few dollars in the box (left over from DHs California trip).

T42 takes the pot of tea to a cozy corner and starts to eat some bread and jam -"tea - a drink with bread and jam" - yes 'Doe a deer' is still the soundtrack to our lives!!!!

Hello all! I was so busy dancing last night that my post failed!! but I was with you Bocca and T4"

Thanks for ditching that ghastly plant JM, don't bother to bring it back

I am still feeling a bit gippy this morning, but sadly have to work
DS is off at nursery rhymes so I think there will be much singing of BaBa and Mulberry bush later on!

Pass the tea, T42 - I think I need camomile today

Hello all!

Would some kind soul please bring me an entire pot of coffee? DS was at his suckiest last night, he wanted to nurse every hour from 1:30 am on.

So I'm not bringing that damn plant back. It's smelly and sad and a disgrace to the tone of this cafe.

Oh, that must be the plant I ordered to replace the aspiwhatever.

That's better. Now, mind, no dumping gin or similar in this one's pot!! Coffee grounds, fine, or even tea, but leave off drowning plants in alcohol, you lot!!

All right, I must go.
Didn't want to post this on the AIBU thread but am now going to clean my house before we leave for another short trip this afternoon. AIBU to be a little f*'d off that my house looks like the wardrobe, toy chest and dishwasher walked into the middle of it and all threw up at the same time? There are clothes, toys and dishes all over the place. I worked all day yesterday, came home, made dinner, amused DS, and am now home with him this morning while DH works a half-day. I have to clean, bathe him and myself, pack, get the car into the shop for a quickie-fix, and be ready to leave in, oh, five hours... I suppose I could just leave the mess. It certainly won't go anywhere until we're back Sunday afternoon (too bad, I wish it would). But then I'd come home to a disgustingly messy house and probably have to do all Sunday evening or Monday. UGH!!!!!

Should have previewed that last post: it should read "big handsome gardener-type leaves, giving us all a look at his excellent tushie"... I suppose that could bring us luck, though... hee hee

Oh JM - Your gardener man reminds me - Sometimes I have a date with the city. I love doing this... DH looks after DD and I take the metro into Paris then quietly sit in a cafe and enjoy being in a beautiful city filled with wonderful people then I go to the cinema alone. I do have a social life as well... but I find it quite nice to be out alone because you see so much you would miss if you were with friends or family and I can go to see films I really want to watch!!!

On one of my dates with the city I went to see Lady Chatterly and it is just lovely - I recommend it to you all but especially JM who obviously has quite a big thing for gardeners !!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR4xaF9m1E0