Getting bored with MumsNetters who ...

[Mulanmum]

Leave their 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 kids to cuddle each other and play harmoniously whilst they come onto this topic to tell us that only children are:

spoiled/spoilt
likely to prefer their chaotic household to the sad and lonely bleakhouse inhabited by an only child
will be lost and lonely without the comradeship of sibs when parents die

and that they have never met an adult who enjoyed being an only child

and on and on and on!

It isn't helpful for those who, unlike me, would have liked to have more children.

I don't go sticking my nose into the Larger Families topics posting tactless and unhelpful comments about children I know who LOATHE being one of TOO many or adults who DETEST their brothers/sisters.

Supportive and constructive posts are welcome from multi-kid mums but if you can't manage that then please get back to your kids and stop little Jasper hammering on little Jocasta's head.

Thank you

LOL! What a waste of a namechange, 101. Surely you could have come up with something more cutting or witty knowing you had full anonymity....idiot.

Claim??? CLAIM???

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Fillyjonk - such threads and comments HAVE been made on MN in the past. Definitely. I remember such posts. I have posted on such threads. They may well have been deleted. i remember obe getting very heated after the OP had a massive dig at parents with only children - something to do with feeling srry for only children because their life must be so sad and lonely, etc... And that is defnitely not the only thread I know of in the time I have been around on MN.

Sadly such comments are made on here. Fortunately they are always challenged and the poster is made aware of how wrong they are.

Oh, and yes - there are definitely issues that apply to parents of only children that don't apply to those with nore than one. Just as there are issus that those with siblings encounter than parents of only children don;t have to deal with.

lol at mulanmum

can we swear now?

(btw hula if those comments have been made then that is shoddy

what is seriously worrying me though is that there are misunderstandings going on-both sides are insulting each other without realising it

actually hula that sounded snide. I believe you that the comments were made! I can understand people being annoyed about that.

"
Aitch - get a life, dear! You're blathering on about me on at least two threads - you're getting obsessed with me. It's like having a cyber stalker!"

actually, on both (ie, only two) threads i was trying to pour oil on troubled water with the onlies crew by pointing out that the divisiveness was only coming from one nutjob who should wind her freaky neck in. i wasn't talking to you, not at any point.

if i am calling you a moron 'blathering' about you on 'at least' two threads you must have namechanged again and you must be behaving like an angry twit again. cos i've never heard of you until now...

I'm frankly amazed at anyone objecting to the only child topic. I mean, the Style topics bore me to tears. I'm not from a Forces family so that's of no relevance. Neither am I a single parent. So I don't read those threads. It's very simple really.

AND it does make a refreshing change to be able to chat with other parents of one child. Especially when you've reached the stage when all your mum friends are having their second. There is a tendency for SOME parents of two or more to belittle any problems faced by one child families.

Mulansmum - I'm struggling to decide if you are genuinely unaware of how much of the antagonistic feel of these threads is down to your attitude, or if this some strange form of trolling.

I can't remember when I last saw a poster with such a complete lack of self-awareness!
You are continually insulting and patronising, yet you don't seem to be the least bit conscious of it.

My final point on the subject having now scanned the thread. I haven't read the only child topic much, although I was glad it existed. Now that I have seen for myself the divisiveness I think I will avoid it.

To my mind, the topic was needed for people like myself who are completely torn about their decision or the situation they have found themselves in. I feel guilty every day that DS will be an only child, but I cannot, CANNOT, bring myself to go through conception, pregnancy and birth again. I just can't. I would hope to find support in that decision on this topic, but reading this thread is making me feel very guilty yet again. And that's a shame.

oh sweetheart...
you're great

Twinklemegan, this thread is a weird one and was started off on the wrong foot IMHO.

Come and join us in the onlies section. I can't have any more either, somedays I am horrified I had one if I can't have more! Have a muffin

The meaning of life is to be found in a muffin. Come to the tea room before the champagne runs out.

Kewcumber, I'm sorry if I expressed myself badly. I know the anguish, I would never be disparaging about it. It made me angry to read the OP in one post state very clearly that there is no anguish in the choice for her, then in another claim that:

"Sorry to those mums-of-onlies who have found this a depressing thread - so have I sad but I do think some positives have come out of it. Through some of your very moving replies you have explained the hurtful comments we have to put up with and the anguish many suffer at not being able to have more children. It might make people think before they speak it future ... who knows, we can only hope!"

I was tired, I have felt the anguish of believing we'd never conceive or carry a child. Then the anguish of wondering if we could ever have more. The anguish of miscarrying at my desk in a flood of blood in front of all my colleagues. Ultimately, we had the dcs we wanted to have, but I still remember the pain and the darkness and, yes, the anguish.

To have someone, IMO, be provocative, be divisive and then set themselves up as some kind of protector of others hit me at a moment when I was feeling down. I'm sorry if I didn't express it well.

Just chill, flum. Take Justinenet's advice and just chill. All of you!

Good post, flummery.

(and to repeat myself as I've said this on TWO other threads because some people have talked about this on another topic)...

Thanks to the One Child Families' topic being in active convos so much these past few days, a lot people who didn't know it existed have come aboard and started some interesting threads. The fuss will die down and the people who want it will use it and the people who don't can ignore it.

So move on and take a look at the threads or just move on out

MM sorry you have completely lost me now. That was horrid.

Flummy .
So sorry that this is upsetting for you.
Atimely post that reminds us why these issues are so fraught.

MM. You are thoroughly graceless.
A little humility in the face of the storm you have caused here would be nice. But I'm not holding my breath.

Oh my god, this is awful. Do we all agree yet that there is a need for this topic and it is dreadfully unfair on all the genuinely lovely posters here who have only children that one very odd and nasty person should be causing all this trouble for them.

I am loathe to post on this thread because I don't want it to keep appearing in active convos but I have to say this:

Mulanmum did you actually read Flummery's post? Because your reply is at best insensitive and at worst intolerably nasty. I think you should apologise.

And maybe we can all get on with doing what MN does best - helping and supporting each other - and walk away from all this shit-stirring and mud-slinging.