Do you regret just having 1?

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I'm mum to DD 2 next month. I'm 37 and didn't have the best experience being pregnant so my husband and I have just agreed on the 1 child. I don't feel like I've got it in me to do it again but a few people have commented on how I'll regret it if I don't have another.
Just wondering if anyone has 1 and regrets not having another?
I'm happy with our decision. We have a really good balance of work/ life/ friends/ family. My husband is great with DD and goes above and beyond for us.

Just feeling guilty after a few people have said she'll be lonely!

One and done!

During the pandemic I felt sad that she had no other children to play with but equally I may have been driven mad by constant fighting and you don’t know until you have them!

I love that I can afford to travel with her and take her on expensive days out because I haven’t got to find x3 cost of everything.

I am so grateful I have siblings and my kids have siblings. However you have had a horrendous experience which you don't want to repeat. Have your thought of adopting so that your child won't grow up alone?

I don't know any only children who don't wish they had a sibling and I know quite a lot of only children

I have one. I'll be honest I had "regret" till he was about 5. But then fron 5+ it was like a lightbulb moment.

One child is cheaper, they can do loads of activities and you settle into it, having an only. Also you are now far enough away from nappies and night feeds to think, "yeah I'm not going back there" 🤣

Mines 8 now, loads of friends, never lonely, has a lovely life full of activities and holidays.

No

I'm an only and never wished for a sibling. My childhood was great. I have an only and have absolutely no regret.

Nope!

My DD is four and I have never for one second regretted having just her. There are all sorts of things which would be much more complicated with more than one, and we have lots of fun together.

I was an only child (very happily) and neither of my parents have close relationships with their siblings. I occasionally think I would have liked a sibling, but I have a very close friend who fills the role (he has no family so my mum unofficially adopted him years ago when we were students).

Nope I don't regret only having 1.

1 for me and we are happy with that. He is a happy sociable wee boy now that likes his peace and quiet.

I had a wonderful pregnancy and a less wonderful delivery (blue lighted to hospital,DH had to drive separately and didn't know what he was going to walk in to) so despite always thinking we'd have 2 that kinda put us off. Had a pregnancy scare there just this last few weeks and the absolute relief of my period arriving has confirmed that we are 1 and done. People cam say what they want, unless they're going to be there with you every day and night doing it with you they can keep their opinions to themselves!

That’s really unhelpful on the one child families board and not what the OP asked anyway. There’s basically never a good time to say “have you considered adopting” I’m sure the OP is aware that adoption exists. Nothing wrong with having one child.

Have your thought of adopting so that your child won't grow up alone?

Jesus Christ. 🙄

My DD is now 7 and no regrets so far. We have a lovely life.

Also for the muppet who posted I am and only and never wished for a sibling… 35 so I guess there’s still time 🙄

No, never. I had her young and raised her alone, she is nearly an adult now and I still know that it was the right choice for me and her. I never felt a pull for more children and she always made friends easily and has never been really alone.

I asked her if she wished she wasn't an only child, she said that she has always liked being my 'only' because we both only have each other and it made us extra close.

🤣 you clearly don't know my child, he'd be devastated to have a sibling! He's a right drama queen sometimes and enjoys the only limelight 🤣

I thought I was one and done till a surprise pregnancy when DD1 was 5. I would never have actively tried for a second. However, I’m very glad the younger one is here, I cannot imagine life without her. The girls do fight a LOT so I’m sure life would be calmer without two, so it’s not all roses. I think if we’d stuck with 1 we’d be perfectly happy as well. You don’t miss what you don’t know.

For the love of god 🤦🏼‍♀️

I'm an only child and never once wished for siblings. My husband is the same. We have one child and may or may not have another. We haven't decided. We both had wonderfully happy childhoods and both still have friends who we grew up with.

@chopc do you have any idea how difficult the adoption process is? And of the complex issues that adopted children have? There is a reason they are up for adoption. We're not talking babies abandoned in baskets on doorsteps. We're talking child protection issues, severe attachment trauma and FASD. It's a huge undertaking. People don't adopt so that their children won't be lonely 🙄

Just have 1. No need to have anymore really and don’t upset the apple cart, your child will be fine.

I have 3 and it’s good but that also comes with downsides. Just enjoy what you have.

DD is 4 and will be an only after the horrendous 9 months that was my pregnancy. It wasn't our Plan A but I'm an only child and I had a very happy childhood and wouldn't change anything so I'm also not devastated either.

Occasionally I feel a little jealous of the lovely sibling relationships some of my friends have but far more either barely see their sibling or have fallen out with them completely. There's no guarantee that two kids born to the same parents will actually get on!

Don't beat yourself up over the decision you've made. It's the right one for you and that's all that matters.

Lovely to hear those with older children who are happy with the choice/ circumstance of having one.

DD is only 15 months old but we’re very happily one and done, life feels very full and complete and I think adding another child to the mix would up the stress but not the joy.

I see so many posts on here too about mums really struggling with balancing the needs of two children and not getting any time for themselves and I think that would be me if we had another.

I do think a sibling can provide benefits in certain circumstances but also a poor sibling relationship can be awful and having happy, healthy, connected, engaged parents is ime more important than even the best sibling experience.

Also money wise we could not afford the same level of comfortable life, and would need a bigger house, and we’d probably need IVF again which costs money and is horrendously stressful. I also didn’t much like pregnancy, I only found the sickness bearable because I desperately wanted the baby which I wouldn’t with a second, and birth was very traumatic and I have no interest in doing it again. And I don’t think I could do the newborn stage sleeplessness again, DD sleeps through most nights even if she wakes early and it’s lovely. DH doesn’t want another either and the impact of our adored DD on our marriage has been tough, the impact of a second would probably cause real damage to our relationship. Plus I’m happy to be getting back into my career now and that gives me confidence and a sense of self that I don’t think I should give up. So all in all I feel we’re unlikely to regret the decision.

This is a really unhelpful answer. A sibling is no guarantee of a friend.

We have one. Would have liked another but it wasn't to be. One is just lovely. He can do as many activities as he likes. I work very part time, we spend loads of time with him. There are no financial limits on the opportunities available to him. He is really social and has loads of friends.
He absolutely loves being an only child and we are a very happy family of 3. Even though we did try and would have welcomed another we're so happy as we are and the longing has worn off me.

God no! Best choice we ever made (and he agrees at 14)

I personally have no regrets.
But DD (7) really seems to struggle being an only.... but she purely wants a playmate! She doesn't quite get that sibling doesn't equal playmate that will so as says!

We can't have any more and no I wouldn't considering adoption just so my dd has a playmate.... 🙄

I had a brother and honestly believe my life would be 100% better if I was an only child!

Thing is, you can never know how well the second child will get on with the first. You might be lucky and get two who play well together as kids, then remain close as adults. Or you might get two who genuinely hate each other.

So it’s always the luck of the draw. People who get two compatible kids probably don’t usually regret having two but that’s no help for anyone else, trying to decide. You only know in retrospect, when you know what relationship your DC have.

Just be happy with your choice and own it but don’t be one of those people who goes into denial mode about having a singleton

“oh adult siblings hate each other anyway” types. That’s not true in a lot of cases and the sibling relationship is very, very unique in that it is often the longest familial relationship that you will ever have in your whole entire life.

Your sibling will often be in your life a lot longer than your parents, children and spouses. It is a relationship that can span the whole lifetime (hopefully).

I have a brother and sister. Me and my brother have had the odd disagreement over the years but the three of us remain incredibly close even well into adulthood. I see my sister every single week but it can be months between seeing my brother. The longest was a year but it didn’t feel like a year. It’s funny as we don’t see each other that often but our mannerisms, sense of humour and everything else is scarily similar. Me and my sister visit the same hairdresser and she can never tell us apart via voice alone.

My adult life is certainly richer for having my siblings in it that’s for sure.