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One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

Original poster

One child meet up groups.

32 replies

Summ3ers · 22/03/2019 10:51

Hello. I was wondering if anyone was aware of any ‘one child’ meet up groups (or even how to start one?)
I have a 3 year old son and I would love to meet up with other ‘only child’ families. All my mum friends have at least 2 children and sometimes it just feels really hard to fit in. Comments such as ‘you don’t know how lucky you are just to have one’ or ‘we didn’t feel complete until we had 2 children’ sting.
Although we no longer plan to have anymore, our 4 miscarriages and failed IVF have made us come to that decision.

I’ve read a lot of positive comments about the joys of just one child, I’d love to meet up with others in the same situation.

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MontanaSkies · 22/03/2019 11:13

Following as I'd be interested in this too. Sorry you've been hurt by insensitive comments x

Original poster
Summ3ers · 22/03/2019 11:18

Thank you. Xx
I’d be happy to start up a Facebook page or something (if I had any idea how to do that). Lol

OP posts:
MontanaSkies · 22/03/2019 12:13

I think there are already groups on Facebook, maybe someone can recommend some?

BooseysMom · 23/03/2019 07:38

@Summ3ers.. an excellent idea! I would love to be part of a special group just for parents of one! I'm sorry to hear of your losses and experiences. You're right, everyone seems to have more than one but I think i tend to be more sensitive to it and it's not always like this. I know a few with just one but they tend to be younger and so will prob have another. Anyway count me in!
Thanks x

Original poster
Summ3ers · 23/03/2019 08:35

Thanks ladies. I actually messaged Mumsnet yesterday to ask for their advice. They suggested that if I post in the ‘site stuff topic’ asking whether other users would be interested in this topic idea - it's something they could discuss in the office if there is enough interest.

I also read up on how to start a Facebook page but got overwhelmed when it started talking about administrators etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Summ3ers · 23/03/2019 08:39

I’ve also found a few Facebook pages but they seem to be based in USA. I did read about a group that meets in different locations all around the world for holidays. Sounds like a lovely idea but I know personally that it would be too expensive for us.

OP posts:
reefedsail · 23/03/2019 08:44

I suppose really you mean a support group for people who are sorry to only have one?

We only have one, we only ever planned to have one, and we are very happy to only have one. If someone were to say 'You don't know how lucky you are to only have one.' I would think 'Yes, actually.. I do.'

I don't think having an only child is something that those who have actively chosen it feel defines them- so I suspect they wouldn't flock to a support group. You may instead find yourself surrounded by other people who were rather sad about the situation. Would that help or make it worse?

Original poster
Summ3ers · 23/03/2019 09:14

I wouldn’t label it as a support group. I would hope it would be open to anyone whatever their situation (whether having an only child is by choice or not). However, if belonging to such a group did help those who were sad about the situation, I wouldn’t see that as a bad thing if it helped them.
The Facebook group I belong to has lots of parents who just have one child by choice and it is full of positive messages and great ideas etc.

OP posts:
hilbobaggins · 23/03/2019 22:12

Hi Summ3rs

This sounds like a great idea. Why don’t you just start one? I’ve started a few meet-up groups, and really the only way to do it is just to do it! Use www.meetup.com to set up a “parents of only children” group, set up a meeting place and a time, and see who turns up. If you’re in London I’d be happy to help - I just don’t have it in me to start anything up myself at the moment, but I definitely think there’s a “gap in the market” so to speak. Even people who are happy with their only might really like to meet other parents and arrange outings with kids. My experience with setting up meet-up groups is that you just have to get on with it and not wait for someone else to do it - and also that with enough work and regular meet-ups these groups can really take off. (Ironically my first ever meet-up group was “Childfree and loving it”!

Original poster
Summ3ers · 24/03/2019 08:43

Thank you for your lovely reply hilbobaggins. I came across meetup.com the other day when I was googling but didn’t quite get my head around how it works. I live in Essex but I’m only about 25 mins train ride from Liverpool Street. Any support would be hugely appreciated. Xx
I totally agree, I think there is a gap in the market. Oh, and I would certainly have loved to come along to ‘childfree and loving it’ in my previous life! Lol

OP posts:
Melinda76 · 12/06/2019 16:21

Hi I'm in Essex too and would be interested in such a group. My daughter is 3 and will be an only child 😁

Fizzy13 · 20/06/2019 13:16

I've found two only child facebook groups.
One and done : not by choice or by choice (2 different groups) seem to have a big american following.
My first, my last, my everything seems to have more UK people in.
Worth a look!

almostalwayslaura · 26/07/2019 22:59

I would be interested! My daughter is 5 and we are one and done through choice! I am always interested to speak to other mums who have chosen to not have anymore children through choice.

I’m in Scotland though so I’m sure it’d just be a chat group for me!

summ3rs · 27/07/2019 09:33

Hi guys. I was only thinking about this thread last night. I would certainly be happy to start a group chat. Not sure the best way to do it? Facebook? WhatsApp? Any other way? Is there a way to do it on mumsnet?

Any ideas greatly welcome. I had a quick look on meet-up.com which could certainly be a possibility for local meet ups but I was thinking of a chat group open to anyone, wherever they are?

summ3rs · 27/07/2019 12:42

Oops. Just realised. My user name has changed slightly since I originally posted. 🙈

AhGoOn · 30/07/2019 22:32

Hi, can I join in? I have an only child and am finding this summer holiday a bit tough. He seems a bit lonely and is missing his friends from school. Would be nice to get some support from somewhere as I have no family nearby apart from DH

summ3rs · 31/07/2019 08:08

Hi AhGoOn of course. I might suggest anyone interested PMs me and we can take it from there?

Cappucinoextrachocolate · 01/08/2019 15:00

summ3r I PM-ed you a few weeks ago, did you get my message? I am interested too. DS is 8 and is an only.

GreenTulips · 01/08/2019 15:06

FB groups are easy to set up BUT you will need a different email address to keep your own one free

Name the group - makes the settings good!! With open or closed group.

Look up an ethos ‘x behaviour will result in a ban extra’

Then post the group out

AhGoOn · 01/08/2019 16:02

I've pm'd you now summ3rs. My DS is aged 7 as well

Celledora · 07/08/2019 12:24

I would join! 36 years old with a 3 year old, in SE London/Kent border.

Deer1981 · 30/10/2019 13:10

Hi guys. Anyone in the midlands on here?

Deer1981 · 30/10/2019 13:11

Hey summers, did this group chat ever take off? If so I would love to be a part of it.

summ3rs · 01/11/2019 09:09

I can’t believe I first started this thread in March! Talk about procrastinate! 🙈
Anyway, if anyway is interested in joining a one child chat group, then please send me a message. Personally, we are not one and only by choice but it would be great to hear from anyone, whatever the situation. Xxx

summ3rs · 01/11/2019 09:15

I’ve slightly changed my user name since too which is why my posts aren’t green. Not sure what I can do about that tbh

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