Tea Room 17 - The Tropical Beach Hut

[amberlight]

Welcome to the 17th version of the Tea Room. We find ourselves on a tropical beach, with the tea room now in a beach hut on stilts, the waves lapping on the golden sands beneath. Palm trees surround us. Our virtual gardener/beach surfing dude/handyman, Mellors, is here to tend to your every need. He looks like the person of your dreams (male, female or otherwise ). There are of course holidaying Bishops and other leaders of faith, the Camels, the Bison, various guinea pigs, the tea room horses, a life-size cut out of George Clooney, the NMBs (please don't ask me to explain how Mohawk Babies joined us, and a wide variety of other virtual followers. We chat, we relax, we share how life is. All in need of friendship are most welcome. The kettle is on...and the distressed chintz sofa has of course made the journey over. Enjoy.

MT - that's good news on the school behaviour front, not so good on the Bad Dreams thing. I worry about miniThumb and bad dreams because of imagination too - but he's not too bad so far. Mostly because when he has one and wakes up, I'm there within a minute to soothe him, either because I'm already in the bed with him or I'm on the computer in the next room.

Amber - I have some mind 'tricks' that work for when people are feeling under attack or overwhelmed - would they be something you could use? The best one is to imagine you have a nuclear protection suit on - it can be any colour you like, any material you like but it is completely impervious to EVERYTHING bad. Inside it, you can still see and hear and do everything as normal; but you are protected from the outside world.

If you don't like the radiation suit, the other option is a glass greenhouse - you see yourself going into the greenhouse and shutting the door. The greenhouse then moulds itself around you and protects you from EVERYTHING that might hurt you. You can still see, hear, and do everything as you normally would - but you are safe from every malign influence.

Both of these mind tricks work better the more detail you put into them - so for example, in the greenhouse, you see what plants are in there with you (if any), you see the colour of the glass and the frame, the shape of the doorhandle - as much detail as you can get in.

I don't know if your brain wiring would accept these tricks but I do know other people have found them to be helpful when they need a bit more help with coping. :)

X-posted with you there, amber - offloading is primarily for helping yourself - so if you want to go for it, please do! We can handle it :)

I agree - its good to have a little rant occasionally - and where better than among understanding friends?

I had a classic with MiL at the weekend - Saturday evening, feeling somewhat fraught, washing potatoes (new potatoes from the garden) - broke off to do something - came back to see MiL putting dirty crockery into the sink.... Bit the bullet and said 'let me introduce you to the mysteries of the dishwasher - the plates go with the plates, the bowls wtih the bowls...'

Good for you, MT! What did she do?

Bother - added long reply and got a peculiar screen with New thread and lots of ????s on it....

She looked a bit and and then struggled to put them where I'd shown her... (really techinical that!). She doesn't have one and apparently 'doesn't know how they work' so of course can't put stuff in them - even if its copying an established pattern so has to leave things IN the sink.... I mean, if you're going to leave things that belong in the dishwaher, at least leave them on the counter BESIDE the sink and above the dishwasher rathe rthan IN the sink where they get in the way...

If you get peculiar screen again, click on the Back button at the top - usually your post is still there waiting to be posted. Or it is on my computer, anyway.

My Dad is like that with his own dishwasher. He never got used to the idea of using one (deliberately, one feels) and now he is on his own he doesn't really need it. But when other people are staying, it is useful!

My grandmother was a bit like that with her fridge... OK, she did only get it when she was over 90 - so perhaps rather set in her ways.... We used to turn up and the butter and milk would be in the larder and tins of beans and similar in the fridge Oh - and cooking often tasted of whatever detergent she had used to wipe off the shelves before replacing the bag of flour...

TW, thanks - will try something similar.

Just one example of how exhausted I am? Try this..Trying to book a place on a conference about disability access and churches. Big conference, big names there, it's in London. 19 days and counting...not one person knows if it will be accessible for me or not. And it's on disability access.

Just...want...one...ruddy...thing...to...be...possible without me having to plead, beg, ask, re-ask, ask again, and again, and again...

MT- boys and ballet, its fine, think of it as music and movement combined with a good stretch and muscle development work out. Small boys generally wear black ballet shoes, dark shorts and white T-shirt. they don't have to wear tights or leotards till they are well up the grades ladder. Ballet is good foundation for any kind of dance, so he can change to tap or jazz or whatever in future if schedules change. You knew Uniboy goes to ballet? .

Amber- sympathy. may I pass you a gizmo to fiddle with while you take a break from banging head on wall.

Oxeye- you not going to change Oxboys school are you?? please tell me I misread that. Uniboy is also a Jan starter.I've done nowt about labelling school clothes yet, figure I'll do it dec when I see which trousers still fit.

((((((((HUGS)))))))) for Amber, I try but really cannot fully imagine how you even get out of bed some days, knowing how overwhelming everything can be.

(Not in a "the actual mechanics of getting out bed" sort of way, I mean...)

Mistle, I literally out lout at "let me introduce you to the mysteries of the dishwasher". That's made my day!! LOL! I've been tempted to say similar things to the little princess in our office who literally does not lift a finger to help with the common areas unless coerced into it, such as by a rather stern email I sent last week. Apparently after receiving the email, which included reminders of such commonsense lightweight tasks as replenishing the plastic cups for the water cooler, she asked DH where the cups were kept. His head just about exploded. Did we need more proof that little Miss Muffet has been sat on her tuffet for the three years she's been working at our office?
Her response to my email was "oh sorry, of course I'll pitch in, I didn't realize you'd been doing all of it (the evening close-up)". Errrrmmm... that begs the question, who did you think had been doing everything?? Since you've regularly been swanning out as I'm emptying the trash and scurrying around like mad because, like you, I have somewhere to get to?!?

Ahhh... better.

Rant over.
Someone else's turn.

ooo, a gizmo! Just the thing. Especially since the organisers have just emailed to refer me to a guy who's already told me he cant help....
Arrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

If teh weather is with you as miserable as it is with me, can I offer you a mulled wine and a ( or 2 or 3 or 4) cinnamon danish pastry. If on the other hand you are sweltering in a heat wave, would you care for a iced something or other and a sorbet.

must remove self from chair and go find some crisps to go with this glass of red.

MUst stop reading internet...

Amber - that is mad, isn't it! It does make you wonder if they quite understand the point of the conference...

Can't believe it. We've had bright sun the last two days and now, on the day of play group, it's peeing with rain again , which means my friend who walks there won't be going. :( She doesn't drive and she and one of her DC are car phobic, so I can't even offer her a lift.

Better still, the guy that can't help me to find out if the conference is accessible...turns out to be the chair of a national disability access group.

Tea, anyone?

That's madness Amber! You do know that there are people (here) that would pick up the phone for you don't you? I certainly would - and I'm sure that some other people here would....

4M - glad you had a laugh! Its our Director here that tends to empty the water cooler and then expect one of the 'girls' to put a new bottle of water on - and you know how large they are! I'm lucky on that front though - I tend to just drink tea rather than water, so rarely have to do that job.

Had 'one of those' nights and subsequent mornings today... Got home with mistlechick who had been at sports camp to find that he'd not drunk enough during the day - I send him with 2 decent sized bottles - he had drunk about 1/2 of one. So he was really thirsty and drank quite a bit with supper.... Middle of the night the result of that was a change in pjs and coming into share my bed (dh working away so space!) and a wash on this morning - but that also meant he was really tired this morning, struggled with breakfast, procrastinated with all the other getting up things, ended up going to the car in tears iwth his socks and trainers in his hands - and us arriving 10mins after we meant to... Have apologised to sports camp that he is tired - but asked that they ensure he drinks enough during the day today!

oh dear, MT - poor you, poor mistlechick! Hope it goes better today.

Amber - yes, that is beyond belief really. THese people really haven't got the hang of their role, have they. OR perhaps they just limit it to the obvious physical disabilities, like wheelchair access and hearing and sight problems. How VERY shortsighted (pardon the pun) of them.

Toffee apple anyone??

or apple toffee if you prefer.

Oh go on then...just a large one for me please

By the way, the organisers of that conference have responded to someone ELSE asking them the same questions about autism access on my behalf, but still won't respond to me directly.

Is this 1950, or are we in 2010?

Amber - [mhh] - Perhaps they think that they might have to send you several different versions and its going to take a long time to get it translated into Braile, large print and Swahili etc.... Just so that they can be seen to be being inclusive in their response... Surely their reasoning must be something equally daft?

amber, isn't that the equivalent of "does he take sugar?" How bloody RUDE of them!! And discriminatory and lots of other Bad Things.

Gah!

I'd be alright with Swahili? Not sure I'd be much use with the Braille though.

Yup, the 'does she take sugar' response is alive and well and living in our churches. Specifically it seems in this event set up to encourage people to accept and welcome disabled people in church .

Interesting to look at the website for the main organisers - which goes on endlessly about wheelchair access, hearing and sight...and kind of forgets to mention autism at all, anywhere bar one tiny mention re children. Churches for all People who Aren't Autistic? Autistic people are welcome if they bring someone to talk for them? Not sure what the message is but it's not very nice.

I feel the need for cake. Something chocolatey I think.

Have some <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.epicurious.com/images/recipesmenus/2004/2004_march/109274.jpg&imgrefurl=www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/printerfriendly/Devils-Food-Cake-with-Chocolate-Orange-Buttercream-109274%3FprintFormat%3Dphoto&h=283&w=350&sz=41&tbnid=9dzDY6mdnHYCVM:&tbnh=97&tbnw=120&prev=/images%3Fq%3DDevils%2Bfood%2Bcake&hl=en&usg=__FKr_9hJ97BSDRtAsVZ8yPwxiF-A=&sa=X&ei=W1NhTOygNIi6vQO6triXCQ&ved=0CC8Q9QEwBA" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">devil's food cake - seems peculiarly appropriate at the moment, given the Church's severe let-down in your case, amber.

So nice to know they are still living in the dark ages, isn't it.

Well, one of the chiefs has just contacted me, who heads up a major disability access charity, and says he has no clue what autistic people might need for his conference and he doesn't know what to do

Pass me the gin.