Fallen out with babies nursery - do I remove DD?

[Rainbows08]

DD is only 1 year old and been in nursery for 3 months now.

Me and DH have at times not been happy with the way they have dealt with some things and send DD home at the tiniest of inconvenience (we have found this also seems to be linked to when not all staff turn up to work….)

Last week the nursery manager called me and basically spoke to me like a piece of sh*t - like I don’t know my child and I’m not a good parent as I haven’t come to pick her up for a nothing problem (baby has a cold but is fine)

The way she spoke to me was awful and ruined my day, colleagues even commented that they noticed I was quiet that day. I feel really angry about the way she spoke to me like I was some stupid little girl (I’m 38…) - since she has called about other things and I refuse to pick the phone up and let her speak to DH.

In short, should I remove my DD from this nursery? It makes me question whether they are actually nice people and if my DD is in safe hands?

They don't sound very good and the relationship has broken down. Are there other nurseries or childminders you can get a space at?

Be very careful of not answering phone it can be seen as child neglect.

You clearly despise them so why on earth hand over your baby to them? If you’re as abrasive in real life as you come across on here then the problem might not be just nursery’s (I’d love to hear their side) but regardless you can’t give your baby to be looked after by people you don’t like or trust. Find another provider.

You should have picked up your child. This is on you. It’s not a “nothing problem” when your child is sick and you refuse to pick them up. That is a terrible parent problem. I’m actually shocked by your behaviour.

She was absolutely neglecting her child.

Also we kept our child in a bad pre-school and I regret it now especially as I've found out other familiar similar issues to us.

We do! We've got an immunocompromised child in our nursery. Other parents don't know and don't need to know but in our rules no children are allowed with any illness - and we rarely get many children off at all with coughs and colds because of that. Children aren't bringing it in to spread around!

I agree. If you have a job where it’s really difficult to take time off for childhood sickness then try and get help in the home/ shared childminder type of arrangement

I can guarantee they don't. I've had four children go through private nurseries and they absolutely have not been sent home for coughs and colds.

Did she not say dad was contactable though?

Not answering your phone when they call you is silly. I understand you’re upset but put your child first here. If you’re unhappy with the establishment then remove your baby.
If they speak down to you then politely tell them not to speak to you like that.

You might be better off with a childminder. It’s nice for the little ones to be in a more homely setting, with the same person taking care of them and the same small group of kids.
Also less likely to be sent home. Nurseries tend to send them home if they have green snot (mine always had green snot!) but with a childminder they will know the child better and be able to see if they’re poorly or not.
If you find a good one they’re worth their weight in gold!! (My childminder from 25+ years ago was a guest at my wedding!)
I did both CM and Nurseries with my kids, youngest is now in reception and good communication and relationship are really important whichever way you go. Start afresh.

My nursery only allows them in if they have a slight runny nose (clear) or a cough that isn’t constant, if it’s any more than that they have to stay off and are sent straight home if they become unwell, same with other nurseries in my area so I don’t think it’s completely unrealistic that they asked you to pick her up. The relationship has broken down though and so you should move her but be prepared this may also be an issue with the next nursery.

yes but it is logged how many attempts are made to contact. Mum would need to remove herself from being an emergency contact for it not to be an issue.

I am disturbed by your responses. This is a baby who has been in nursery since they were nine months. My child started at ten months and we were called to pick them up all the time, which we did. Sometimes it was due to fever but sometimes it was due to him crying a lot or not being himself. I was occasionally frustrated to be called so much but I felt they were acting in the best interests of my child. Your angry responses on here, including calling another poster a witch, do not suggest to me someone who responds proportionally to disagreement. In which case perhaps a childcare setting isn’t for you.

Of course they do, but they can’t send home a child (for a paid session) based on the fact they are understaffed while making out it is because of illness.

Yes definitely.

They really don't as small children have colds that are pretty much nonstop. Kids barely notice them as they present differently compared to in adults.

Do you state this before taking their money?.you are charging for a service your are not providing, what's another name for that?

Yes you need to change nurseries.

However, the first few months of nursery will involve a LOT of pickups for illness while their immune system catches everything. It happens again when school starts! It's very difficult. Good luck.

So is every teacher, surgeon pilot, prison guard, driver etc neglecting their child as they can't answer a phone, but the other parent can? Of course not. The hyperbole on here can be astounding

My child came down with chicken pox once at nursery. That was the day they discovered they had accidentally deleted a number out of my phone number. DH was abroad. The nursery just got on with it. No one accused us if neglect as we weren't contactable.

You want to feel confident and happy with the nursery - so id find an alternative (some have big wait lists!) & remove

Who are these people saying that 😂 its completely untrue and so naive.
they'd all be out of business.
The shoddy ones that don't have staff in do that.

If you don’t trust them or have a bad feeling follow your gut 100% but getting lots of calls in the first few months is par for the course I’m afraid. Their immune system is developing, they get everything and having work disrupted by the ‘dreaded call’ is just how it goes for a bit. Not answering your phone is out of order… our nursery it’s in the contract that you will return calls within 30mins.

If you cannot face answering the phone to them or having any communication then no way should they be caring for your child.

Just move nurseries asap.