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Original poster

Is this my sons fault or nursery’s fault?

240 replies

Mummymummymummyy · 01/05/2025 20:30

I just had an email from my 4years old pre school saying there was an incident today and I need to sign the form when he next comes in- as they didn’t mention at pick up. The incident is that he opened the fire door which leads to the nursery main door which opens onto a busy road. The tone of the email is all about how bad it is my son did this and how shocked they all were. It says they they had a talk with him about safety and how bad it is to open the door, and can I also talk to him. I’m glad they took it seriously and mentioned it, but I’m kind of annoyed and wondering if I should be. Surely the issue is that a nursery isn’t properly child proof, if a door can be opened by a child. It’s not like I have taught him to open doors and although of course I will talk to him about it- surely they themselves need to address this. a precious nursery he went to had buttons up high to press to open doors, and buzzers etc.

am I unreasonable to be annoyed?

OP posts:
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laraitopbanana · 02/05/2025 18:50

As everyone says…it is on them. I would be looking at changing the nursery…

Zanatdy · 02/05/2025 18:57

Well I guess speaking to him about it is the only option as they cannot secure the door further or block it off as it’s a fire door.

BerniesAuntie · 02/05/2025 19:02

Of course fire doors need to be easily openable. Nurseries will usually make it really clear not to touch that kind of thing. Most 4 year olds should be able to follow these rules.

CautiousLurker01 · 02/05/2025 19:02

Was the fire door really securely locked? Or did they have it propped ajar to allow the air to flow on a hot day and he just pushed it fully open and went out? I’d be asking to see the door to understand how he could open it at 4 and I’d be asking him during that chat whether the door was really closed at all…

Escapingagain · 02/05/2025 19:05

Although they can’t watch every single child 100% of the time. I would have thought a fire door takes quite some effort for a 4 year old to open. Yes you can talk to him about what happened and why he opened the door. But what are they doing to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Next time it could be a different child.

ScaryM0nster · 02/05/2025 19:10

So,

Just to recap. Child opened door that they should be aware they’re not allowed to open.
Child was observed opening the door, and appropriately reminded that this is not acceptable action.
Door is not locked as it’s a fire door (which is correct).
Door leads onto a lobby area - so child didnt get to a road. The intermediate area serves as a space between the two doors and allows opportunity for staff to intervene. Which they did.

Staff have correctly identified child going through door that they shouldn’t have. Staff have correctly logged this as an incident. Staff want parent to acknowledge the incident and support them in reinforcing importance of following safety rules to child.

I’m struggling to see the issue

(beyond the fact that there's a nursery teacher on here who doesn’t understand a key feature of fire doors needing to provide unrestricted exits from
premises).

DreamTheMoors · 02/05/2025 19:12

In one short sentence, dumbest email ever - he’s 4.

LatteLady · 02/05/2025 19:13

Gordon Bennett, the responsibility lies with the nursery. The access to the door should be above a four year old's height. I have been a school governor for 30+ years and know that pupils are incredibly resourceful. I probably should not mention the human reception class pyramid that they came up with, to try and hit the buzzer that opened the door from the playground onto the street... fortunately clocked by the MMS and office staff, and derailed.

When you next see them, ask what actions they will be taking to safeguard your child and other children, because the onus lies with the management of the nursery.

NuffSaidSam · 02/05/2025 19:19

Leaving aside whether or not the door was too easy to open...

He's 4 and should be able to follow rules like 'don't open the fire door'. Lots of four year olds are in reception and expected to be able to follow simple rules.

You're not doing him any favours long term by making out that it's madness to expect a four year old to follow a simple and important rule or that he doesn't bear any responsibility for his actions. Talk to him as they've asked. Treat the issue of the fire door separately, it's possible for both parties to have been in the wrong, you don't need to decide who's fault it was.

TheignT · 02/05/2025 19:20

TheNightingalesStarling · 01/05/2025 20:37

Fire doors ate tricky... they need to be easy to open in case of emergency but also you need to keep the door secure.

So yes the children need to know that they can't touch fire doors, extinguishers etc.

Yes in an emergency a fire door needs to open. They obviously didn't let him go out so were watching him and he probably didn't know he shouldn't do it. Now he knows so if he does it again it will be an issue.

Whooowhooohoo · 02/05/2025 19:20

Have they safety trained all the children about this door?

Are they supervising? Keeping children from danger?

AndImBrit · 02/05/2025 19:21

starsinthedarksky · 02/05/2025 18:08

We are all capable of inputting a code and opening the door in the event of a fire, don’t worry!

Show quote history

Are you in the UK?! I cannot believe your FIRE DOORS need a code to open.

So if there’s no power to the building (because of a fire), it’s dark and the room is filled with smoke so you can’t see and can barely breathe then you’re confident that every single person in the building will have the wherewithal to find the keypad, enter the code and leave the building with no delay as a result of having to enter the code.

That’s wildly unsafe.

Plenty of shops, office, schools, nurseries and warehouses have fire doors that can only be opened from the inside with a quick release bar without any security issues.

TheignT · 02/05/2025 19:22

CautiousLurker01 · 02/05/2025 19:02

Was the fire door really securely locked? Or did they have it propped ajar to allow the air to flow on a hot day and he just pushed it fully open and went out? I’d be asking to see the door to understand how he could open it at 4 and I’d be asking him during that chat whether the door was really closed at all…

You can't lock a firedoor. That is a shocking idea.

Sunnyxo · 02/05/2025 19:28

Not your little one’s fault at all! Fire doors should be openable to allow escape but your little one shouldn’t have had the opportunity to be near and able to open the door in the first place in my opinion. Nothing wrong with teaching him not to open doors etc without adults supervision but in no way should it be made to be his fault. I would be very annoyed and requesting a better understanding of their safeguarding and supervision and how it’s possible a child has this opportunity to do so. I think any most curious child would try to open a door given the opportunity…

TheignT · 02/05/2025 19:28

starsinthedarksky · 02/05/2025 18:08

We are all capable of inputting a code and opening the door in the event of a fire, don’t worry!

Show quote history

Does everyone know the code? In an emergency maybe a visiting parent would be the only adult able to get children out but bit awkward if they don't know the code.

Is this set up approved by the local fire brigade?

CautiousLurker01 · 02/05/2025 19:28

TheignT · 02/05/2025 19:22

You can't lock a firedoor. That is a shocking idea.

Show quote history

Sorry, I meant ‘shut’ not locked. The handle to the door should not be at a height that a 4yo can reach, so my thought was that it was not ‘shut’ - but slightly ajar to allow the air to flow (often seen this in cafes/ etc).

BestZebbie · 02/05/2025 19:30

Did he even understand that he was opening it, or was he doing a pull-up/swinging from the bar?

TheignT · 02/05/2025 19:31

CautiousLurker01 · 02/05/2025 19:28

Sorry, I meant ‘shut’ not locked. The handle to the door should not be at a height that a 4yo can reach, so my thought was that it was not ‘shut’ - but slightly ajar to allow the air to flow (often seen this in cafes/ etc).

Show quote history

Depends on the 4 year old. One of my sons is tall, has always been tall, was off the scale as a newborn. It would have to be pretty high for any child like him.

Crazyworldmum · 02/05/2025 19:31

I would contact ofstead on this , it’s a massive safety issue and your son could have been seriously injured or worse . Your son in their care so it’s 100% his responsibility.

Thatsalineallright · 02/05/2025 19:32

ScaryM0nster · 02/05/2025 19:10

So,

Just to recap. Child opened door that they should be aware they’re not allowed to open.
Child was observed opening the door, and appropriately reminded that this is not acceptable action.
Door is not locked as it’s a fire door (which is correct).
Door leads onto a lobby area - so child didnt get to a road. The intermediate area serves as a space between the two doors and allows opportunity for staff to intervene. Which they did.

Staff have correctly identified child going through door that they shouldn’t have. Staff have correctly logged this as an incident. Staff want parent to acknowledge the incident and support them in reinforcing importance of following safety rules to child.

I’m struggling to see the issue

(beyond the fact that there's a nursery teacher on here who doesn’t understand a key feature of fire doors needing to provide unrestricted exits from
premises).

Thank you! I thought I was going crazy reading all these responses.

He's 4, definitely at an age where he can understand basic safety rules. He broke one of the rules and the nursery staff want his parent to help them reinforce the importance of following instructions. What's wrong with that??

At no point was the 4 year old in actual danger from what I can tell. The nursery staff stopped him immediately after he opened the door, so realistically they reacted within seconds.

FruityCider · 02/05/2025 19:32

ScaryM0nster · 02/05/2025 19:10

So,

Just to recap. Child opened door that they should be aware they’re not allowed to open.
Child was observed opening the door, and appropriately reminded that this is not acceptable action.
Door is not locked as it’s a fire door (which is correct).
Door leads onto a lobby area - so child didnt get to a road. The intermediate area serves as a space between the two doors and allows opportunity for staff to intervene. Which they did.

Staff have correctly identified child going through door that they shouldn’t have. Staff have correctly logged this as an incident. Staff want parent to acknowledge the incident and support them in reinforcing importance of following safety rules to child.

I’m struggling to see the issue

(beyond the fact that there's a nursery teacher on here who doesn’t understand a key feature of fire doors needing to provide unrestricted exits from
premises).

Good to see a sensible answer. I didn't see anywhere in the OP that he actually got out, just opened the door. "Don't open the door" is not an unreasonable instruction. I can't believe some people are saying straight to OFSTED!

Sunnyxo · 02/05/2025 19:34

AndImBrit · 02/05/2025 19:21

Are you in the UK?! I cannot believe your FIRE DOORS need a code to open.

So if there’s no power to the building (because of a fire), it’s dark and the room is filled with smoke so you can’t see and can barely breathe then you’re confident that every single person in the building will have the wherewithal to find the keypad, enter the code and leave the building with no delay as a result of having to enter the code.

That’s wildly unsafe.

Plenty of shops, office, schools, nurseries and warehouses have fire doors that can only be opened from the inside with a quick release bar without any security issues.

Show quote history

A lot are electromagnetic locks which are integrated into the fire system and release the lock on detection of a fire. Similar to what you have on block of flat entrance/exits that are coded, they link to a electromagnetic device at the top

Pixie2015 · 02/05/2025 19:35

Theunamedcat · 01/05/2025 20:35

Reply to the email? Ask what safeguarding procedure they will be putting in place now your son has helpfully shown them areas they are lacking in

exactly this

Spies · 02/05/2025 19:35

Crazyworldmum · 02/05/2025 19:31

I would contact ofstead on this , it’s a massive safety issue and your son could have been seriously injured or worse . Your son in their care so it’s 100% his responsibility.

What is a massive safety issue a fire door that can be opened in event of a fire or a 4 year old being expected to follow age appropriate rules? How would he have been seriously injured? Honestly such hypothetical nonsense.

Sparklybutold · 02/05/2025 19:36

Even before reading what happened - there is no way a 4 yo should ever be held responsible. I would be asking how they will be safeguarding it to prevent it from happening again. I would also want management to step in and take proactive action so it doesn't happen again. This is a serious event that occurred and if the nursery are not demonstrating any indication of responsibility I would escalate to Ofsted and the council.