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Original poster

Support thread for parents of nursery newbies - come and wring your hands here

125 replies

midnightexpress · 16/04/2008 14:09

WanderingTrolley's suggestion that we start a support thread for anxious parents whose dcs are starting nursery.

DS2 (15 months) had his first settling-in session this morning and wailed through most of it.

His big brother (2.5) is much more independent and settled fairly easily, but ds2 much more of a velcro-boy, so I suspect this might be a bit harder than ds1 was for us. Also we're moving house on Friday (great timing) so the poor wee thing has quite a lot on his plate at the moment.

Anyone else? Come and join - bring your own tissues. I have gin.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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MrsBadger · 16/04/2008 14:11

oh you are a month too late for me
here was mine...

Original poster
midnightexpress · 16/04/2008 14:16

I take it you're off the hard liquor now MrsB and all is well on the nursery front?

OP posts:
MrsBadger · 16/04/2008 14:17

oh yes - she falls on the toys without a backward glance and I skulk off unnoticed...

PuppyDogTails · 16/04/2008 14:27

DS (11 mo) has had two 2 hour sessions, first full day tomorrow. Apparently he cried after about an hour yesterday when he realised I wasn't there but was easily consoled with a banana! It seems to be going too well, I'm fully expecting a complete breakdown.

itsMYmummy · 16/04/2008 14:28

Hello all, I'm sitting all alone my DD 2.3 has her first afternoon at nursery.

I dont know what to do with myself, and I have'nt put the phone down (even taking it to the loo!), in case the nursery phone.

What can I do to take my mind off it?

Original poster
midnightexpress · 16/04/2008 14:33

itsmymummy - maybe call them to see how she's getting on? I did this a couple of times when ds1 was settling in/changing rooms and it was quite reassuring. Has dd had a settling-in time? If so, did that go OK?

As for time fillers, do you want to come round here and help me with the packing?

OP posts:
PuppyDogTails · 16/04/2008 14:34

Have you cooked dinner IMM? I was cooking lasagne at 11:05am this morning!

Original poster
midnightexpress · 16/04/2008 14:34

And hi puppydogtails! Bananas are so great aren't they? Without bananas and raisins my life would be a great deal harder than it is

OP posts:
preggersplayspop · 16/04/2008 14:36

Hello, my DS (11mo) has just started at nursery. I am missing him so much, I just started crying when a neighbour asked how he was, the shame! He is BF to sleep normally (the only way I can get him to nap - he can be a stubborn devil!) so not ideal for the nursery staff on the sleep front and he won't eat anything other than the snacks I have been providing. Apart from not sleeping or eating it seems to be going well!

.....does anyone else have experience with this sort of situation? Will it get better??

PuppyDogTails · 16/04/2008 14:39

preggers - I think they have tricks to get them to sleep that only nurseries know! My DS is similar, he was BFed to sleep, then from about 10 months I started to give him a bottle. He won't go to sleep without milk for me, apparently today he went to sleep without it! God knows how they have managed it.

preggersplayspop · 16/04/2008 14:45

That is comforting to hear PupppyDog, I am hoping they can teach me their tricks perhaps!

itsMYmummy · 16/04/2008 14:45

Midnight- Just rang shes v v happy, she had her settling in day last week and she seems to have taken to it like a duck to water, her older db also attends the same nursery and their rooms are integrated after lunch time so at least he'll be a familiar face to her. Don't know what I'd have been like If she'd cried when I'd left as I can barely cope with it now.

Puppy- Yes! spaghetti bolognaise cooked at 10:30am!!!

I do however have a pile of laundry to put away which is approx 5 foot high! So that should occupy me!

PuppyDogTails · 16/04/2008 17:56

Have all the newbies got home OK with minimal fuss?

ScoobyDoo · 16/04/2008 18:01

Oh me, DD 2.3 & had 2 hours settling in on monday, then her usual days which are 9-1pm tues, wed, tues was actually better than today, she did the whole sobbing thing this morning but they said she only cried for a little bit then she has been very happy.

Seems she may be accepting it

zebedee1 · 16/04/2008 18:26

I'm soi glad you have started this thread, babyzebedee starts nursery a week on friday so I shall be checking in here for support! I'm sure he'll be fine and it'll be me who's a sobbing wreck!

Original poster
midnightexpress · 16/04/2008 20:14

Hope everyone got on OK today - I'll let you know how we do tomorrow (2 hour session).

OP posts:
preggersplayspop · 16/04/2008 21:24

The nursery staff worked their magic today and my DS napped for an hour and 15 minutes! (this is good for him at the best of times). The worst thing is when I drop him off, he seems happy when we pull up but clings onto me when it comes to be handed over - he is not normally a clingy baby at all, when we go to playgroups he normally crawls off without a second glance at me so I guess I wasn't really expecting this.

I'm putting a brave face on for him then sobbing in the car all the way home! Luckily I don't have to go to work for a couple of weeks, hopefully it will get easier by then!

Back again tomorrow for nearly a full day. The nursery staff have been lovely and been great when I call for updates to see how he is getting on. Hope everyone else had a good day today.

Monkeybird · 16/04/2008 21:28

MyDS3 had his first visit today. I blubbed the minute I walked in the door and I was staying with him today. They said on his next visit I can leave him for 30mins. not blardy likely.

The lovely cuddly nursery nurse said 'hey little monkeybirdy, come for a cuddle'. And his little face crumpled.

Not looking good so far...

PuppyDogTails · 17/04/2008 10:24

Pass me the gin.

Had to leave DS crying this morning

It's broken my heart.

I went back in after an hour to see how he was getting on - he was fast asleep in a cot, they said he cried for a while then fell asleep. I have this horrible image of him crying himself to sleep because his mum wasn't there .

preggersplayspop · 17/04/2008 14:46

Oh PuppyDog, its horrible isn't it? I had to leave my DS crying as well. He is teething at the moment too, and normally will BF on and off during the day for comfort when teething, and as I can't offer him that I feel so bad .

I just called the nursery and he has fallen asleep - I don't want to think about him crying himself to sleep either. He is still not eating the nursery food, just snacking on things I provide. Anyone have any ideas for some nutritious snacks? He's surviving on banana and Organix rusks/corn puffs at the moment during the day so would be good to provide a little more variety!

PuppyDogTails · 17/04/2008 17:10

He was crying when I picked him up (apparently he had just started when I rang the bell) and became almost hysterical when he saw me.

Apparently he was fine when he woke from his sleep this morning, happily played, ate his dinner, they got him to sleep again at 2pm for 45 minutes, woke him for his tea then he promptly started crying when they had no more food to give him!

The team leader has been trying to comfort me that he will settle in fine and actually most babies are far worse than he's been today. There are bound to be bad days.

He's back in again on Monday afternoon so fingers crossed.

preggers - how about making some cheese muffins/scones?

PuppyDogTails · 17/04/2008 17:26

preggers - when's your DS's birthday?

preggersplayspop · 17/04/2008 19:27

Cheese scones would be a good idea. He likes his cheese. They did get him to eat some tea this afternoon (cheese sandwiches), but he only slept for half an hour all day so he was bouncing off the walls when he got home (but in a good way). He has gone to sleep v easily this evening, but I imagine he will make up for lost time on the BF front so I don't bank on getting a lot of sleep tonight!!

I read on another thread that they can tend to cry when they see you when you pick them up because the happy emotions they feel when they see you again are overwhelming, so it may be a good thing he cried when he saw you?

He is back in on Monday too. His birthday is 19 May. How about your DS?

PuppyDogTails · 17/04/2008 19:58

I must admit he did just look overwhelmed with emotion when he saw me, I'm not taking it as a bad sign. They got him to sleep for nearly 2 hours in total but he must have been knackered as he's gone to sleep really easily this evening. He's been in a really good mood this evening.

Born on 13 May so just a little older. Can you believe he's nearly one!

preggersplayspop · 17/04/2008 20:32

No I can't believe it, I was just thinking today that I remember people telling me that they are 'not babies for long' and to enjoy it and now I know exactly what they mean. I have been getting a bit mushy eyed when I see tiny babies, and there seemed to be zillions of babies with their mummies when I went out to the shops today, just to remind me that DS was not with me - I think I am the one with separation anxiety not him!

DS grabbed a packet of puffs out of my bag when he got home, reached in and started chomping on one, which made me laugh - he is already starting to assert his independence and he's only been at nursery for a few days, goodness knows what he will be like after a few weeks!!

I'm glad your DS was in a good mood this evening. I'm really looking forward to a whole day with my DS tomorrow.