Nursery accidents

[Luke1054]

Son is 3 years and 3 months. No accidents at home, well, maybe two over the past 3 months….but at nursery he’s been having accidents for 5 months, average 4 accidents a day…every day he’s there.

they seem to offer no solution to this issue or if they do (like a sticker reward chart) they keep it up for a few days then it gets forgotten about. They only usually do this after I’ve expressed concerns.

he doesn’t speak well but can say poo poo meaning he wants to go to the toilet.

the usual story when challenged is that it’s a big room with a lot of children, my son doesn’t tell them, or it’s a tough job and staff turnover is high.

there have been other issues as well which I won’t go off topic with, one being him moving to the pre school room which seemed to be more about filling their spaces rather than my sons best interests) but I feel massively let down by the nursery and can’t really see how he will stop the accidents as there seems to be no plan or urgency on their part.

am I best to just submit a formal complaint as I have tried verbally for months to no avail.

Thanks for reading.

Why isn't he taking himself to the toilet?

Sounds like you're best moving him to another nursery.

If he’s over 3 surely he can go to the toilet himself? Why does he need to tell them? Pre school rooms have lots of kids and less staff so they are probably often busy and can’t always take your Ds to the toilet immediately.

Due to your son’s age he will be in a preschool room as the staff to child ratio is different (less staff are needed for the amount of children). Some settings don’t have different rooms but a lot do.

sometimes, children will have more accidents in a busy setting because they get engrossed in play. Especially in the early days of potty training. How long has your son been out of nappies? Are you often having to remind or take him to the toilet?

4 accidents every day he’s there is an awful lot especially as this has been going on 5 months! Does he have any success there? Just wondering if he’s got an issue with the nursery toilets. Can he access them himself whenever he needs to without having to ask an adult?

Does he self initiate at home? Just wondering if the issue is that he doesn’t act on needing to go yet, and whilst 1:1 you can spot the pee jiggle, remember he pooed at this time yesterday so might need to go again etc. it’s not realistic for a busy nursery to be that on it so more work on independence and initiation at home would help.

The toilets aren’t in the room. You have to ask the staff to go.

Becuase the toilets are in a different room. The children cannot get out of the room because the handles are up high so the my have no choice but to ask

the toilet isn’t in the room so they have to ask.
I can assure you at home we don’t have to remind him. He walks in to the bathroom himself, gets his step and has a wee on the toilet.
if he needs a poo he pulls his potty out, sits on it and does a poo. He then calls us to wipe his bum.

He’s been out of nappies for I’d say 5 months. No he goes himself without prompts.

when we are out we have to remind him but that’s more because he would have no idea where toilets would be at places like we would as adults. Reading a sign etc

Because the children can’t get out of the play room without being let out by an adult. Handles too high. The toilets are beyond this door

I think you need to change nursery. I understand accidents will happen and it's a busy place but 4 a day over months is too much plus it actually creates more work for them having to clean it up. Make another complaint.

Is he not pooing on the toilet, only a potty, despite using the toilet for wees? That’s something to tackle, he should just be using the toilet by now and I’m guessing they don’t have the little potties available in the room at nursery either. The not being able to take themselves isn’t an ideal set up. If has speech issues, and given ratios are high in preschool rooms, then the biggest issue is probably that he doesn’t feel confident going up to an adult and saying that he needs the toilet. High staff turnover won’t be helping here either. If there are other issues would you consider a move to another nursery?

I'd move nurseries. It's clear he doesn't feel able/hasn't been supported in being confident in asking staff.

And knowing this is an issue they are doing little to nothing to support him. He needs reminders, demonstrations of asking for toilet and regular taking to toilet.

It's not good for him long term and may cause issues when he starts school.

he can use either or. But takes the potty for poos. They have potty’s at nursery so it’s the same.

if he doesn’t feel confident to ask and we’ve all established this, for months, why are they not adapting to this? We pick him up and we get told he’s had all these accidents but there’s never a “but….we could try this”…..it’s just like it’s no issue and normal. But when it’s been happening for this long and so many incidents I feel there should be some urgency and assistance on their part.

I’m not really prepared to just take him out as he has friends there and is used to it.
i think it would be very damaging to him.

yes they aren’t doing much at all and they never see it as an issue. But I feel like that should be their duty as a childcare provider so I don’t see why they should be getting away with this.

Probably because they’re not a very good nursery. He’s not comfortable expressing his needs to staff, they don’t seem to care about helping him progress. And they’ve moved him to preschool early when he’s clearly not ready because it benefits them. I would move.

They are my thoughts I’m afraid.
I dont want to move him but obviously I would if I had to.
Id rather they just react better and make an effort but as they are under ofsted, surely there’s some recall for us via complaints to actually make sure they’re doing their job. They must have to follow certain rules and promises?

Have you spoken to the manager or just the room staff? If not, arranging a meeting with the manager should be the next step, and ask for a plan to be put in place. If you have, I think moving nurseries would be appropriate.

I’m not sure that they are “Getting away” with anything! As someone said, it’s actually more work for them to keep changing him and cleaning up. Is he actually letting the staff know that he needs to go? I would ask for a meeting and come up with a plan together. It is very common for children to be very different in Nursery and home. Have you asked him if there are any reasons? It could be something like he doesn’t like the toilet.

Believe…..I’ve been badgering them for months. They never have a clue.

same excuses every time about more children in the room and more going on. It’s never their problem. There’s never any disappointment or issue in telling us that he’s had accidents. Never any things to try at home or things they will do.

I think he could go to nursery until he’s 25 and they’d just continue this cycle.

I think they are getting away with being a glorified babysitter to be quite honest as they are not offering any experienced advise, any urgency and no interest.

And if we have a meeting and they do nothing…..there’s no recall for them? Can they just do whatever they like?

I’ve tried the management….tried the room staff….when I really kick up a fuss they impliment something like a sticker chart, reward etc, but it lasts a few days usually then they stop doing it.

A 3 year old will automatically get moved into the pre school room to make way for younger ones to join, your son isn’t being singled out , that is what happens. In our nursery .They transition for a week before their 3 rd birthday and then the day of their birthday they are officially in the pre school room.

as for the toilets if your son cant vocalise that he wants to use the toilet, could he have a picture in his pocket or a picture on the wall that he can point to or show a teacher so they know he needs. The other option would be a keyworker takes charge and just encourages him by taking him to the toilet every hour in the hope that he needs.

for us summer months are harder for toilet accidents as we have a huge nursery garden and children get so engrossed in playing there that they forget to go to the toilet.

We had this - our daughter was so unsettled at nursery that she would not ask to go.

our health visitor said we need to make them write a toilet diary, as we were also struggling with poo and her being constipated. She said as soon as they are having to write it down, they’ll start taking her. Lo and behold the accidents stopped as soon as the toilet book started…

some will say the staff don’t have time, but a young child needs to be taken to the toilet and if they have to write down what they are eating, they can write this down too.

equally it costs £90 a day….

I can assure you that all kids don’t automatically go to the pre school room at this nursery because it’s their birthday.

well here’s the thing…you’re asking me could he have a picture in his pocket…..but I’m not a childcare provider or worked am I. Aren’t these ideas they should be suggesting to me?

Your last sentence rings true at times, we may be qualified and have to do CDP but if we are short staffed or working tightly to ratio with no extra staff eg 1:8 we do end up being glorified babysitters, not having the extra staff (could be due to holidays or sickness) makes things so much harder .

Ratio is 1;8 so imagine 32 children in a room with 4 staff. 32 We need to fit time off the floor to upload journals, staff lunches and breaks, someone is off sick or on holiday , then a child is sick in the room or has a toilet accident in the room, one staff member cleans up and one changes the child, all these instances leaves us out of ratio which unfortunately impacts on the service.

early years are losing loads of amazing qualified staff due to the pressures of the job.