Hygiene warning given by nursery

[Katied1331]

Looking for some advice, our DD is attending a nursery for 15 hours and today we have been called in for a meeting as she apparently has severe nappy rash that they believe needs to be seen my a GP (granted it is a little red but nothing a bit of cream won't fix) they also insist on applying yellow cream at every nappy change something that we don't do as this created a problem with our other children! She has been sent home from nursery and not allowed back until she has seen a GP!

The nursery manager has since emailed us and requested a meeting on her hygiene (hair/clothes/previous nappy rash) she has ringlet curls and doesn't allow us to comb/brush her hair so sometimes it does look a little rough! Obviously I am upset that we are being called in but is this anything I should be worried about?!

A normal bath with a cap of dettol liquid in it. My mum used to give them to us when we were little but I don’t give them to my children

I wouldn't be putting antiseptic around my own private parts, never mind those of a DD with severe nappy rash.

I don't think the OP is coming back...

FWIW my DD has fine, curly hair and the only time we brushed it at her age was after her hair had been washed. I did finger brush it every day though but it would have still been a bit knotty. It was still quite short then though.

Neglect would be unwashed, matted hair, not unbrushed hair.

I think what you need to realise is that the nursery staff are well used to seeing messy kids with stained clothes, kids with knotty hair and nappy rash. The fact they deem your situation to be serious enough to warrant a meeting should be taken very seriously and you should do everything you can to make things better for your DD.

Hopefully she's reading, and taking on board the advice.

If you haven't already, phone the GP and make an appointment. That way, your GP can advise on the best cream for your DD, also if a similar issue gets raised in the future, you can show you do your best to look after her, whereas if you don't go now, it could be seen as neglect.

No matter what hair type, her hair does need brushing/combing. Could it be an option for a short while to cut her hair really short - it'll soon grow back.

You've said nothing that some cream won't fix but were you applying the cream (not the yellow kind, the one that you would normally use)?

Otherwise I think they're being ridiculous. Ringlets are impossible.

My DS used to get awful nappy rash. like a PP said, it would come on so quickly too. Absolutely fine in morning, raw by bedtime, so I had to be really proactive with it. He had allergies and eczema etc so it was linked to that.

Nursery actually made it worse at first. Not intentionally of course. I had to send in our own wipes and cream and strict instructions.

I think toddlers usually look pretty scruffy, but yes I’d be worried if they were commenting on my child’s hair and clothes, along with the rash. It’s very clear they suspect you’re not caring for her properly

Whatever you do, do not move or withdraw your child from this nursery.

@oakleaffy I know! The smell was so distinctive. I used it after my sections to keep my stitches clean too. (Not a medical recommendation - just a West Indian standard)

The nursery is doing the right thing by putting the welfare of your child first.

They see a child with hair that is not being cared for, nappy rash that is not being addressed and you mentioned that there is an issue with her clothes too...

Those are the typical sign of neglects that schools/nursery keep an eye for and have to flag as part of their safeguarding duties.

Work with them to sort this out and speak to your GP or they will take this further and report you to social services.

Really no excuse for your child to be in their current state...

My child got nappy rash as a reaction to nappy creams too. For some reason the Johnson and Johnson cream didn't affect her but anything else triggered nappy rash that developed into eczema. If your child is allergic, tell them that, and make sure you send in the cream that doesn't cause a reaction for them to use on her. Or take her to the doctor and see if you can get something better (for the record, everything our doctor prescribed made the problem worse, the only real cure was to use nothing, going nappy free as much as possible, and keep her skin as clean and dry as possible).

For hair, I agree messy hair as long as it's clean isn't really a problem for any child that young (is it always clean?) but cutting it short or plaiting it are ways of keeping it nice without brushing.

One cap in a bath is very dilute but I don’t do it myself anyway.

dontbelievewhatyousee
What is a dettol bath?

A normal bath with a cap of dettol liquid in it. My mum used to give them to us when we were little but I don’t give them to my children.

Can help with cuts and grazes etc. I was forever falling over and having grazed knees and elbows.

When I was pregnant Dettol was my craving, I couldn't get enough of the smell. I would have drank it if I could! My little treat at the end of every day was a relaxing bath in a cap full of Dettol!

What on earth do you mean ringlets are impossible? As a mum of a curly girl this statement is ridiculous. Expecting Shirley Temple every day... yes ridiculous... However I very much doubt this is just that the curls are a bit scruffy. If they're bringing OP in I strongly suspect that the hair is matted. This isn't acceptable for any hair type. The first thing I did when I realised my dd had curly hair was binge-watch a million posts about how to care for it and how to do braids because the way I see it this is what a responsible and loving parent does. At the very least you learn how to get a brush through it...

Lots of kids get nappy rash, but there are so many options out there, that there really is no excuse for her bottom to be red ongoing. How uncomfortable it must be for your child too. Same for the hair, invest in a good detangler, plait her hair. Don't allow her to rule the roost, as in refusing to let you comb her hair. She needs her hair neat and tidy. The clothes, are they dirty or just play clothes. I know my sons nursery asked us not to dress them in their best clothes. That play clothes were fine as then parents wouldn't mind if they got stained with finger paints etc. during the course of the day. But there is a difference in play clothes and filthy clothes.

I would be mortified if a nursery or a school gave me a hygiene warning over my children.

This is a wake up call to you. It's good that nursery are taking action. They are looking out for your child.

I work alongside social workers, uploading child welfare concern referrals onto our database. Believe you me, you don't want child protection services on your door. This is a wake up call.

I get that parenting can be hard, I really do. None of us are perfect parents, but these issues need to be addressed.

OP, as PPs have said, these are areas of concern.

I found that thoroughly drying the nappy area with a hair dryer on the lowest heat and speed settings followed by a barrier cream at every change, to be really effective in preventing rashes.

Don’t think there is any call for a child to have nappy rash unless they have a skin condition. Water wipes or better still if home plain water, dry carefully with kitchen roll or blot with tissue, barrier cream and change regularly or immediately if they have a poo. Step up cream if they have upset tummy /antibiotics. Had three kids and never had probs, Work full time and childminders. I would think they are concerned for some reason. I wouldn’t like to imagine what it be like to have a sore ass.

I suspect the OP is sending her in with dirty/smelly clothes, leaving a sore rash untreated, not bathing regularly and sending her in smelly.

We don’t know if this is a neglect issue or if this family is generally unhygienic and lazy.

We are likely to see a lot more of these issues given the high cost of living. I suspect many people won’t be washing their clothes as regularly or washing themselves with soap and hot water.

What are the problems apparently caused by metanium cream,m? In my experience, it can dry up nappy rash in hours.

I sometimes feel I'm living in an alternative universe to MumsNetLand.

In my world, we don't waste the doctor's time with nappy-rash unless it's severe and recurring.
We don't waste social service resources because a toddler has refused to have her hair brushed.
We certainly don't have immaculate, surgically clean children who are whisked into a sheep-dip of chemicals the moment a speck of dust lands on them.

I can't believe some of the reactions to the limited information the Op has posted. Neglectful? Rubbish! You've no basis for that assertion.

Op, I'll say it again: no childcarer should be applying any cream without your permission. That you don't even know the name of this cream indicates they don't have that permission.
It's likely that, from what you have said, they have actually caused the nappy rash problem or, at the very least, made it worse.

And, sorry, but knowing the poor quality of some nurseries, I would not simply accept they know what they're talking about! It's only a few weeks since a seriously understaffed nursery was found to be putting babies to sleep on bean bags as a regular practice.

Clean clothes everyday. Hair brushed. All kids make a fuss about this. You parent your way through it. Yellow nappy cream after every nappy. It works wonders. It will clear it up in a couple of days.

It isn't so much a problem with metanium, just that different skin types react with different creams.
Some children are best with bepanthan; some will have a rash. Sudocrem is a miracle worker for some children; others will react to it.

No nursery should be applying a universal nappy cream at every nappy change, as this one is apparently doing.

If nursery have raised some concerns then you should listen to them - nurseries know a thing or two about looking after children, after all.

The nursery is guarding its own back. It's a business: it doesn't want to get sued or fail an inspection. They're not doing it out of care and concern for the OP's child, they're doing it to protect themselves and their reputation.

I don't want to scare you as I don't know your home situation, but this can be a huge red flag and these reports and your response to what you've been told from nursery can be used as witness statements if social services became involved.