Hygiene warning given by nursery

[Katied1331]

Looking for some advice, our DD is attending a nursery for 15 hours and today we have been called in for a meeting as she apparently has severe nappy rash that they believe needs to be seen my a GP (granted it is a little red but nothing a bit of cream won't fix) they also insist on applying yellow cream at every nappy change something that we don't do as this created a problem with our other children! She has been sent home from nursery and not allowed back until she has seen a GP!

The nursery manager has since emailed us and requested a meeting on her hygiene (hair/clothes/previous nappy rash) she has ringlet curls and doesn't allow us to comb/brush her hair so sometimes it does look a little rough! Obviously I am upset that we are being called in but is this anything I should be worried about?!

I can’t understand the lack of a back bone some parents have when it comes to insisting their children have their hair brushed. Nothing looks worse than a scruffy child and yes, children with unbrushed hair do look scruffy.
Its especially cringe when it’s a middle class mother laughing it off as “oh my feral bunch, eh” 🙄

Bit of a pile on here. DS1 never had nappy rash but my daughter had it quite a few times (despite us washing both kids every night) usually caused by teething. Yellow cream (metanium) used to make it far worse and the whole area would turn an angry red after a few hours! Only a really really thin layer is meant to be applied but despite amazing reviews from everyone it never worked for us! We found cotton wool and water was much more effective, although not pleasant for changing slimy teething poos! If nursery have flagged it, it might be worth taking her to the GP to check it isn't a fungal infection down there or something as they can give you special creams like Daktarin.

My kids also have super curly hair (mixed race) and my daughter runs as soon as she sees a comb!! We found My Little Coco detangler spray and Cantu detangler spray are great to comb it through when the hair is wet and also a Tangle Teezer when they're distracted playing in the bath.

Hope the meeting goes well, try not to worry, they probably just want to check in with you and see if everything is ok.

I see the OP hasn't returned.

The nursery havent just called them about messy hair and occasional nappy rash which they will see a lot though. They've raised concerns about severe nappy rash and now want another meeting about general hygiene which they are right to do.

What are the concerns they have about her clothes?

Thank you @MiddleParking I'm very aware of what is expected for children in terms of neglect. I'm also realistic, it is helpful in my opinion because most posters are piling on with what the op must do but are forgetting that op may not find hygiene easy or have experienced an expected standard so it's important to have realistic goals as a start.
It absolutely is normal for children to sometimes skip the odd bath etc as long as it's not a regular thing. It's also normal for children to sometimes have a bit of muck if they are outdoors a lot even at home. I don't disagree with you that it sounds a bit more than that with the op. But mn standards on hygiene are often over the top. It's about basics as I said.

I deal with this stuff every day and I'm confident that what I said before is normal and ok.

It amazes me that parents invest time in brushing toddlers hair. Get it cut off problem sorted, both of mine chose that over brushing till they were about 8.

OP they are worried about the nappy rash, she needs to go to the doctors as instructed.

I’m assuming you are talking about bepanthen cream? I understand that you’ve said its caused your other children issues but it may not have the same reaction on your DDs skin, if it does then you can try something else or speak to the gp and see what they might prescribe. It’s really important to try and keep her skin dry and keep her skin barrier intact to prevent it from becoming worse.
RE the curly hair issue, just spray her hair with a mixture of conditioner and water and then comb through, scrunch and let dry, if you do this every morning it will help control the tangles.

Also as someone who deals with safeguarding on a daily basis it’s our job to flag up anything that is worrying, sometimes it may seem like a small thing but it’s all in the children’s best interests, if we’ve spoken to parents and the issue is on-going then it will be raised again and action will be taken to help support parents. They are trying to help you and your dd by pointing you in the right direction and ensuring that are also following the right protocols and guidance around this issue.

I've always found Metanium to be useless for nappy rash, Bepanthen works wonders though

I work in safeguarding and this definitely is something that flags up as potential neglect so you need to go for the meeting and ensure you are listening and acting on their concerns.
They wouldn't just call you in for a bit of unkempt hair.

My sisters little girl has ringlet curls and they are a nightmare but there are lots of things you can do to help with the bushing and washing. My sister has straight hair and spent a lot of time researching products and methods to learn about curly hair and how to manage it that really helped. Clothes, these should be clean on each day, I wouldnt send mine anywhere without clean on clothes. Nappy rash, its hard to tell without actually seeing it but is it possible you are not seeing the severity of the situation becuase of tiredness or are you dealing with a lot of other stuff and not realising you are not coping well. Nursery will pick up on stuff. They woukdnt let my husband take my son home once becuase he had had one beer after work and they smelled beer and said they wohkdnt release the child to him. It literally was one beer.

Well done to the nursery, I can’t imagine they’d be doing this if they weren’t concerned.

My 2 nieces have extremely curly hair and never has it looked “rough”. Get a tangle teaser as others have said.

The yellow cream is presumably metanium, if you don’t want them to use it fair enough but you do need to treat her nappy rash.

No to a tangle teaser. The brush you want is a head jog 8, they are inexpensive from Amazon, and work like magic. My daughter has waist length curly hair and it takes only seconds to detangle. Also for curls - always use plenty of conditioner when washing and spray with a leave I'm conditioner afterwards if needed.

Nappy rash can be worse if your child has sensitive skin or a food intolerance so that could be worth exploring if not being caused by hygiene issues. A soak in a bath with just some oatmeal cleanser like Aveeno and then some barrier cream like sudocrem if the rash is flared up, or something milder (waitrose always did a real lovely cheap own brand vanilla baby bottom butter, I don't know if they still do) when the rash clears to prevent a recurrence

No updates?
I think you need to break this down

1 nappy rash... she's had it before and you say it's an easy fix that a bit of cream will solve so why haven't you used cream?
Re other kids with yellow cream this goes on a sealed nappy area so your other kids shouldn't be touching it anyway! This rings alarm bells.

1. Dirty clothes... there's a difference between stained and dirty. You should be sending your child in freshly laundered clothes even if they have for eg old paint stains from messy play... you can have clean messy clothes which they don't believe your daughter has.

3.. hair... there are special brushes and products available even if hair is in a messy plait or messy ponytail it should be clean and brushed best you can. Saying child doesn't like it is no excuse. If child said they won't wash what would you di then... you are a parent and certain things you have to do whether the child likes it or not. My son hated baths or showers he still got washed!

I have actually noticed that people seem to be a lot less attentive to keeping their very small kids clean. I have one friend with a refluxy toddler who really doesn't wipe under her chin at all, or only very cursorily, and she quite often has a really sore-looking rash in her neck folds. Another of my friends will only wipe her kid's face if kid allows her to do it. Ditto hair - my kid has curly hair so we conditioned and combed it when wet, but we never allowed it to become matted.

I'm very, very pro-attachment parenting. I always warned my kid if I was going to wipe her face (still do!), but there's a limit. Small children do not know how to take care of themselves - they need us to do it for them even if they don't want it. It's why I never asked for permission to change the baby's nappy, as some people do now. If I'm going to change it whether they say yes or not, I'm not teaching them anything valuable about consent by pretending it's their choice!

Wait. Not....not....SCRUFFY HAIR!!!

Yegads.

Get over yourself, seriously.

My son had horrible nappy rash, e.g. angry, red, weeping wounds that would develop within 24 hours of tge rash flaring up. Metanium did make it worse. We ended up needing to use water and cotton wool at nappy changes and using Cavilon cream as the moisture barrier. It is expensive but after trying so many other products it was the one that finally worked.

What is important is to be attending to the issue. You can’t ignore it and expect it to go away. Same with the cleanliness of clothes and hair. Make the effort.

Would you mind linking the hairbrush? When I Google for Head Jog 8, two quite different looking brushes come up.

If black and mixed race children can have their hair done with their tightly curled /coarse hair, then you can handle ringlets.

I agree with the poster above. It sounds like they are gearing up for a referral to social services OP. Be very careful.

Our second child had hair like a brillo pad but I managed to brush/comb it through every day, it was hard work and time consuming and she was often unhappy but it had to be done.
Children shouldn't control what their parents do, it's the start of a slippery slope.

I learned very quickly that if I didn’t change a nappy quickly, after a poop, then my DC would get awful nappy rash. I’m talking red and angry, which I was mortified about. It would take days to heal. It just wasn’t worth it.

I think the nursery are referring you to the GP for them to take a look at your DD to see if there is a neglect problem there.

TBH why are you letting your DD spend the day with dirty clothes, unbrushed hair and sores under her nappy? She needs clean clothes, a shower or bath, and it is quite easy to get an Afro comb and tease those ringlets out, put some conditioner on them, and then plait or tie her hair back.

Also, what’s up with Sudocream. It worked a treat on my 3 boys.

Agree about the Head Jog hairbrush!
I had no idea what they were called, just saw this post, looked it up, and realised we already had one of these.
I find they work really well (even on very long hair) and are easier to handle than the tangle teaser.