Hygiene warning given by nursery

[Katied1331]

Looking for some advice, our DD is attending a nursery for 15 hours and today we have been called in for a meeting as she apparently has severe nappy rash that they believe needs to be seen my a GP (granted it is a little red but nothing a bit of cream won't fix) they also insist on applying yellow cream at every nappy change something that we don't do as this created a problem with our other children! She has been sent home from nursery and not allowed back until she has seen a GP!

The nursery manager has since emailed us and requested a meeting on her hygiene (hair/clothes/previous nappy rash) she has ringlet curls and doesn't allow us to comb/brush her hair so sometimes it does look a little rough! Obviously I am upset that we are being called in but is this anything I should be worried about?!

You do t brush curly hair! But you do maintain it properly.

Right now, nurseries are desperate to keep their numbers down due to understaffing.
Some are jumping on any reason to exclude (especially if they've been reported to Ofsted) and they absolutely will exclude for trivia, insisting on a doctor's visit. Our surgery has resorted to writing to nurseries in the past because these poor parents were blocking their appointment system, desperate to get permission for their child to use childcare so they could work.

Of course severe nappy rash needs to be seen by a GP. That's what I said.
It's not what the Op is saying, though. "A bit red" does not translate to severe nappy rash and it sounds as though the nursery's actions are causing it.

We have to take what the Op has said, not invent additional possibilities as many of the other posters have done.

Nursery would not suggest op taking a child to visit the doctor unless they needed a visit to the doctor.

As there is only one post with limited details, bits are inferred

• op describes how the child "won't let her brush her hair" so it looks "a bit rough". It's reasonable to assume the hair is long enough to need brushing, or neither the nursery or op would have mentioned it.

• op says the nursery have hygiene concerns and that clothing is one thing they want to discuss. It seems likely to be linked to dirty cloths, unless you can think of any other clothes hygiene issues it could be?

• the rash is bad enough that the nursery think it needs to be seen by gp, if it was being addressed it would clear up in a day or so. That doesn't seem to be the case, based on the timeline of events. Op also mentioned that the nursery want to discuss previous incidents of nappy rash, so it seems to be an ongoing issue. Either the child has skin issues that op hasn't had investigated or it change frequency.

Absolutely this!

I once attended a Council safeguarding training course where we were told to report everything, however trivial. We duly did so.

At the next Network meeting, a MASH representative was there. She pleaded with us to stop reporting everything because social services literally couldn't cope with it all. It was snarling the whole system up and they were terrified of missing the genuine cases.

I think parents would be horrified if they saw the "Cause for Concern" notes that childcarers are expected to produce to prove to Ofsted that they're on the ball with safeguarding.

My kids have curly hair, we don't brush it unless they are wet and straight out of the bath from washing it. Curly hair does not need brushing, in fact brushing damages it and makes it MORE wild and untamable.

Toddlers/young kids are ALWAYS dirty, I swear I put a clean top on them and within a minute they will wipe there nose on the sleeve of spit juice down the front etc... nothing stays clean long enough to get all 3 kids and myself ready and leave the house but dirty clothes never hurt anyone.

Nappy rash might be a different kettle of fish. My kids only ever had it when teething and it was just little patches of pink skin, how bad does it need to be to be told to see a Dr?

I don't understand posts like this. Over 220 replies so far, yet the OP hasn't bothered to return herself. What's the point?

There is a point if OP has read the first few replies and taken them on board.

She is mostly being slated so it doesn't take much to understand why she might not be brave enough to come back to it.

Or, given that we're in the middle of office hours, perhaps she's at work!

I kind of meant what's the point in 200+ people replying. If someone hasn't returned to their own post over 12 hours since posting, they are unlikely to read through that many posts.

But she's also left a lot of people to make a lot of assumptions so she'll miss the posts that may be giving useful advice relevant to her, rather than just bitchy comments. I just dont' get why so many people write replies - some of which are quite long - when it gets to this point.

For ringlet curls - spray with a moisture spray and then brush gently with a comb. This will make this miles easier.

Maybe given all the judgemental replies the OP doesn’t want to write anything else ,for strangers to criticise!

Nappy rash cream created a problem with your other children? I don’t understand what this means. And I don’t understand why you are not using nappy rash cream for your DC. There are different brands you can try. It must be so incredibly painful for her, poor thing. Nursery have a duty to look out for the children they are caring for.

You are wrong about it {Middle class neglected children} not being a ''Safeguarding concern''.

Look at the very wealthy runaway whose baby died of neglect.

It is rarer that middle class children are referred to Social Services, but they can be if the children are neglected or there are concerns.

I have inferred that the op made no reference to her sending her child into nursery with dirty clothes, and this may be a generic thing that would be covered in hygenie chats

I have inferred that the child does not have a buzz cut, but could have short but curly have that looks messy.

i have inferred that the op has looked at the nappy rash and have decided that it looks like normal nappy rashes that the child gets that can easily resolved by using cream and does not need to be seen my a doctor.

benefit of the doubt?

I think that clean bum and brushed hair is a very different league.

But you too have added to the pile of replies?! {as have I}.

I’d like to think this is a troll, especially given OP has returned …

But that is all basic parenting! You keep your child clean and hair brushed. As for the nappy rash, why don’t you use cream to prevent it?? All 4 of mine had sudocrem applied at every nappy change to prevent nappy rash. It’s basic.

Both of my girls have beautiful curly hair, it’s a nightmare for me to take care of. All the hair care tips are very helpful, thank you.

I found with nappy rash, often use of loads of cream makes it worse. Talcum powder after every nappy change was good as it dried the area out.

The nursery are probably trying to be helpful and support. With my first, we did have a meeting once as her sleep patterns were really unstructured. They were just trying to help, not criticise. But I was a little sensitive at the time.

None of us are in a position to know that the nursery are being over zealous. The issue is easily fixed with regular baths/ clothes that are clean when put on/not leaving nappies too long. Messy hair in itself isn't a hygiene issue.

Going the the 'classism' post there is an AGEISM thing too. My oldest was born when I was a teen (barely a teen but yes a poor one at that and shock horror a single one after my bf left) and I got reported constantly for things that weren't even issue.

I had my second in my 20s and my 3rd in my 30s as a married woman living in the better side of town (got lucky finding a cheap house to rent here) and it was WILDLY different. Now if anything happens its laughed off as 'accidents will happen' or 'kids will be kids' etc... but as a teen mam EVERYTHING was directly my fault as a terrible mam.

My oldest has NEVER been ill or seriously injured in his life, never needed hospital etc... as I said no issues with nappy rash or anything. However if my oldest so much as fell over toddling and grazed his knee then health visitor or nursery would have to 'note it' as I was 'clearly neglectful and not keeping an eye on him'.

Yet in my 30s my younger kids fight and encourage each other to do stupid shit (if one told the other to jump of a bridge they would even question it, you can't trust them for even a second because they will push each other to out 'stupid' each other) and yet despite 4 hospital visits for injuries between them its now 'your clearly a good mum, these things just happen, its hard being a mam, don't worry about it, kids are a handful, your doing your best'.

I was reported to SS at least 5 different times for literal non issues (as an example one of the things I was report for was for 'not breastfeeding', my kid was happily fed and health just with formula). Due to the volume it was investigated though. SS where fine with my parenting and said my DS was clearly loved, healthy, had an abundance of stimulation and toys and was well looked after. They said it was a waste of their time but happens often.

I have never once had anyone even suggest reporting my younger kids or think to question my parenting and literally if anything I'm more relaxed and more laid back parent now on the third kid where as I was super protective and tried to do everything perfect with my PFB.

I have seen other teens go through the same thing, there is definitely an attitude some people have that punishes teens parents JUST for being teens not based on their actual parenting skills.

Curly hair needs to be braided at night if you don't want it to tangle. At the very least she needs to wear a silk bonnet or have a silk pillow to sleep.

If you are trying to comb it dry in the morning after leaving her to sleep with it unbraided or without a silk pillow, then it will be very tangled and hurt her. In the morning you should be spritzing her curly hair with water and applying some sort of leave in conditioner/ moisturiser/ oil serum before attempting to comb or brush it.

Try the tangle teaser for a gentler brush. But also there's loads of youtube vidoes on curly hair care routines. If you buy her a little brush to make it fun, she can do the routine with you and will stop refusing to allow you to comb/brush her hair.

Sorry but you need to do better and get the nappy rash sorted quickly. There are lots of videos on how to deal with curly hair and ways you can implement this eg star chart.

My kid's hair were a complete mess when they were toddlers (and they even had straight hair). I can't understand the obsession with perfect hair for young kids.

Washed and brushed is basic care

In my experience, schools and nurseries wouldn't be taking the time to call a parent/carer in unless there was good reason to do so. They're also used to children getting messy during the course of the day etc, but the fact they have asked you to come in suggests that it is potentially serious, yes.

My daughter wouldn't let me brush her hair. I gave her a choice - I brush it, or we go for a short cut. She now has a lovely short pixie cut. Job done.