Teacher hit me

[AdaUserName92]

So my son just started nursery, he is 3 and this was his settling in week. Everything was going well until the last couple of days he done home and said his teacher and another senior member of staff hislt him and threw him. On those two days he came hone super angry and change in behaviour. I've withdrawn him from the school. Has anyone had such experience and reported to ofsted and safeguarding bodies? What was the outcome?

What they say shouldn't be treated as gospel either, if you are a rational, sensible parent!!

Really?!!!

That is totally different. You witnessed what was going on.

Nobody knows whether or not there are any witnesses here because nobody has fucking well asked!!!

Ofsted will only consider a complaint when you have been through all local routes and are not satisfied. Ofsted do not investigate individual complaints, rather they investigate if the provider followed all procedures as set out in the complaints policy. They will also speak to the local authority to see if they are satisfied that the provider has responded appropriately to the complaint. You need to follow the nursery’s complaints procedure in the first instance. The nursery will have cctv. You can also report to the local authority if it is a maintained nursery. They will then have to investigate if they believe that two staff members hit and threw a child.

I have worked in education for over 20 years, children massively exaggerate. Speak to the nursery and find out what happened from their point of view in the first instance.

I was a nursery teacher. I have had a child say to me "don't push me!" when I had simply laid a guiding hand on his arm. All I am saying is, perspectives vary. Doesn't mean teacher didn't hit him/her. Equally, doesn't mean teacher did. The whole episode needs further investigation. Ask.

We had a nursery child who insisted to his mother that there was a green man at nursery. Green all over, and there every day.
Eventually she asked us if we could explain what he meant. No, our staff were all female and not green.
So we asked if the child could show us the man. He pointed to the fire escape sign over the door.

Two teachers hit him and one threw him? Highly unlikely.

So my son just started nursery, he is 3 and this was his settling in week. Everything was going well until the last couple of days

This timeline of events makes no sense. We’re only on day 2 of this week.

If it was the other way around and he told them you hit him they would report you.

It doesn't happen like that. School would find out first what happened.

Is this a school or a private nursery? There are procedures for raising complaints. I would think it would be unusual to go straight to Ofsted. Usually you would ask for the head teacher or nursery manager (depending on setting) to investigate what happened, and if you aren't happy with the response only THEN would you speak to a different body such as Ofsted. If it's against the nursery manager themself in a private nursery then you may choose to speak to Ofsted and seek their advice as to how to proceed.

It's not about whether your child is lying or telling the truth so stop misinterpreting what other posters have said. It is about getting to the bottom of what actually happened. That is what ANY investigating body would do.

You've already had posters explaining to you that children that young can misinterpret or misunderstand things or simply use the wrong vocabulary when they are relaying the incident to you. Gentle questioning rather than an emotional reaction jumping to conclusions is a better approach.

If this thread is genuine and this is the OPs first child, she is in for a very steep and uncomfortable learning curve 😂

@AdaUserName92 "please don't populate this post unnecessarily and keep your personal opinions to yourself as they are not wanted."

This is a public discussion board. For sharing opinions.

I think you were wrong to give your little babe toast for breakfast @AdaUserName92 , definitely better to give him porridge in my opinion.
hope that helps

The first thing to do, which you haven't actually said you have, is to speak calmly to the nursery. Establish the facts.
Although why I am responding when you haven't OP, I really do not know!

Yes, and will soon learn that she will probably at some point be called into school to explain the reason behind their child's worrying deed that is actually perfectly innocent. Like I was after my eldest son had had his Year 6 sex education lessons and unbeknown to me had been giving my very innocent Year 4 son some lessons.

Next thing I know I'm getting called into school and having to speak to the safeguarding lead because my youngest had been discussing with his friend which girls at their table they would like to have sex with. 😱😳 The deputy head asked where he might have heard such language and I just couldn't think as we are very very careful at home. Until I remembered that his brother had had sex education lessons a couple of weeks earlier and as it was the same school they obviously knew this. Clearly what my youngest said was still very wrong and he was told off for it (and was crying a lot when he realised) but he is very young for his age and didn't realise the impact of what he was saying, he didn't actually know what the words really meant!

Just remember that safeguarding of children runs both ways, OP. It is IMPERATIVE that you allow this to be investigated through the usual procedures and channels rather than running to Ofsted. You want to be taken seriously. Going straight to Ofsted for the situation you have described is just going to mark you down as a parent who is a bit of a drama llama and who won't work with the school/nursery through the usual complaints system.

Very young children never lie - listen to your child - this sounds serious

Very young children find it hard to tell the difference between reality and fantasy. Very you children don't always have the vocabulary and grammar to explain who has done what to whom. Nobody has said the child is deliberately lying.

OP needs to talk calmly to the nursery to find out what has actually happened.

...

OP is batshit as are a couple of other posters. 😂

It's quite frightening, though, that there are people here who would go into nursery or school and 'break people's faces' on the say-so of a 3 year old.

DS1 told me his teacher grabbed his hand and pulled him very hard when he went into nursery. His teacher had taken his hand and led him inside, I was there. Next day he told his teacher that I had pushed him down the stairs. I had grabbed the back of his jumper just as he slipped down the step and prevented him tumbling down the stairs.

The head teacher said at the new parents assembly - don’t believe every word they say about school and we won’t believe every word they say about home.

Yeah, no need to feel sorry for all our "little babes", op. They're doing just fine.

I have worked in a nursery school for many years. One day a parent made a complaint to OFSTED and the local authority that their child had told them they had opened the nursery door, walked out of the school and gone to the shops before walking back alone. This had absolutely not happened but every single member of staff needed to be interviewed and CCTV checked before the allegation could be ruled out. We also had to develop a detailed risk assessment and action plan to ensure that this could not ever even possibly happen. Children can come up with stories but I feel it is only right they are taken seriously and that things are investigated to ensure good safeguarding procedures are in place. Therefore, I do feel OP that rather than simply removing your child from the school you should really have spoken to the headteacher so they could work with you and the staff to get to the bottom of why he would say such things.

God forbid someone else’s toddler accuses them, they’d have a broken face too 😂ironic really

If this is how you go through handling things you’re going to find yourself in jail over the smallest thing.
If you don't realise how Usual this for small kids you will have a really hard time through their school years! Don't make it harder!
Look it up, its normal for tiny ones.
little one I'm with told their mom that i pulled their hair and they were hit in the face.
actually THEY hit their sibling in the face and got a toy wrapped round their hair.
In front of mom.
i did it though apparently 🙄

Very young children tell what adults might call lies, but to the child, are very much the truth, as they see it, as they've interpreted it, and using the language skill they have, which at 3, lacks something ... like nuance, and context.

Thus, a conversation about 'we don't hit, we wouldn't like it if someone hit us' and 'we don't throw... ' and being reminded of this when it happens... becomes 'so and so hit me/threw me/threw so and so..'

Dreams become reality, a fire escape green man is an actual green man, a pat on the shoulder becomes a hit, and so on and on.

These may be untruths from an adult perspective, with an adults experience and knowledge, but they are not the malicious lies adults tell, in the full understanding that someone else can really suffer as a result!