Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

Original poster

Teacher hit me

277 replies

AdaUserName92 · 12/09/2023 15:23

So my son just started nursery, he is 3 and this was his settling in week. Everything was going well until the last couple of days he done home and said his teacher and another senior member of staff hislt him and threw him. On those two days he came hone super angry and change in behaviour. I've withdrawn him from the school. Has anyone had such experience and reported to ofsted and safeguarding bodies? What was the outcome?

OP posts:
Killingmytime · 12/09/2023 21:17

Op you need to actual speak to the nursery.
going in all guns blazing and withdrawing your child was ott.
as you can see little ones have the truth and then their version of the truth!
its how they see things, its just not actually how it happens!
you may have lost your nursery spot over nothing if you never actually spoke to them..

Lightbluegreen · 12/09/2023 21:22

susan123graeme · 12/09/2023 21:00

Very young children never lie - listen to your child - this sounds serious

What a load of rubbish. 3 year olds lie. They are pretty crap at it, but they lie.

PaminaMozart · 12/09/2023 21:22

I'm guessing the OP hasn't been back since page 2 ?

Now there's a surprise...

Killingmytime · 12/09/2023 21:22

susan123graeme · 12/09/2023 21:00

Very young children never lie - listen to your child - this sounds serious

Bhaha do you actually know any kids???

HarrietJet · 12/09/2023 21:25

PaminaMozart · 12/09/2023 21:22

I'm guessing the OP hasn't been back since page 2 ?

Now there's a surprise...

She's getting all the replies she's expressly forbidden; that's probably why 😂

Rubiconmango · 12/09/2023 21:27

Sheesh! Ten pages of responses and this is what you can muster up? You went from almost convincingly concerned to very authorative and firm and just two posts. I read on MN that journalists use this site as a lazy effort for articles! If I hadn't suspected it was a journo effort from your original post; your second comment definitely convinced me it was! And what a poor and smug attitude to have towards commenters. And for what it's worth, it's quite abysmal that a parent would pull their kid out, and then resort to MN for advice on reporting the crime. Clearly to pull a child out, said parent would think it's serious, and doesn't instinctively march right into the school to challenge school? Not only is this a journo post, a poor one at that!

Anonymouslyposting · 12/09/2023 21:29

We recently had this with nursery - my DD, who is almost 3 said one of the teaching assistants had hit her. We spoke to nursery about it and they were great, took it very seriously, had a safeguarding meeting, checked their cctv etc. - despite the fact that the relevant staff member hadn’t been in the country for three weeks when DD said it had happened!

Little kids say things that aren’t true sometimes. It doesn’t mean they are bad kids and it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t listen to them. We made very sure that she saw us taking what she said seriously and didn’t make a big deal about lying as we want her to feel comfortable and safe to say similar things in future in case something does happen.

But you can’t just assume everything 2/3 year olds say is gospel. Reporting to ofsted or anyone else without giving the nursery a chance to investigate and, if necessary, act is ridiculous. Obviously if their investigation is inadequate then they should be reported (whether or not the allegation is true) but not until then.

Judging by the OPs second post however I doubt she’s open to being reasonable…

Lemonsugarhigh · 12/09/2023 21:29

Definutely check with the nursery.
My teacher hit me when I was about 5.
My parents used to hit me as a punishment so that was normal for me and I never said anything. I thought my parents would be angry that I'd been a bit naughty. She was suspended and investigated a number of years later for slapping a child round the face and giving them a fat lip. Think she took early retirement. I should have said something.

ohboohoo · 12/09/2023 21:33

susan123graeme · 12/09/2023 21:00

Very young children never lie - listen to your child - this sounds serious

You don't know many kids do you 😂

CurlyhairedAssassin · 12/09/2023 21:43

I think it's probably obvious from the attention-seeking thread title, that OP isn't a genuine parent. But I responded earlier anyway in the hope that other parents flying off the handle in a similar situation may read it.

Sodullincomparison · 12/09/2023 21:46

Please talk to the nursery. There are several adults in a room and they will be able to find out what happened.

my DD when she was 3 used to go up and down in the front of our house on her scooter. When lever we said it was time to come in she would shout “I’m not coming in, you will hit me” and laugh especially if there were people walking past.

we lived next door to the head of safeguarding for the city council who definitely heard her say this several times.

MrsCobbit · 12/09/2023 21:47

What bollocks!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/09/2023 21:48

It also deliberately very limited in information so not here for the gossip

If this is for real, let's hope OP applies the "not here for the gossip" to herself

... and doesn't blast off to all and sundry locally about how she removed her DS because he was assaulted

ZadocPDederick · 12/09/2023 21:53

Has anyone had such experience and reported to ofsted and safeguarding bodies?

No

HTH.

ItstimeToMoveagain · 12/09/2023 21:55

At that age one of mine told everyone I'd shot him with a gun he was really angry with me for it as well 🤷‍♀️

Zodfa · 12/09/2023 21:57

Is the senior member of staff Miss Trunchbull?

rwalker · 12/09/2023 21:58

You need to ask the nursery not us

ohwhatadustyanswer · 12/09/2023 22:01

My then 2 year old came home and told me she didn’t like nursery because the teacher did a poo on her foot. On purpose.

It was a very detailed story, and apparently it happened in front of everyone, several times.

Funnily enough, we didnt withdraw her….

truthhurts23 · 12/09/2023 22:02

When my daughter says stuff like this I ask her about the incident a few times in different ways, to see if the story changes, but be careful not to ask leaded questions
Then mention it to the school so its written down, don't talk to the teachers that your son named, speak to a head of year group or safeguarding person in the school

Soapyspuds · 12/09/2023 22:04

Thanks for the interest. The question is very specific. It doesnt ask for opinions on whether my child is telling the truth or should I speak to the nursery etc. It also deliberately very limited in information so not here for the gossip. If you can't answer the question specifically please don't populate this post unnecessarily and keep your personal opinions to yourself as they are not wanted

Is this Mumsnet or North Korea?

ItstimeToMoveagain · 12/09/2023 22:17

Well I'm going to assume that last week was his settling in week as it's only Tuesday and you say it's the last couple of days he's been unsettled.

Any sane person would think he's probably struggling with the transition. Not that 2 members of the nursery are hitting him and throwing him around 🙄

MalvernHillbilly · 12/09/2023 22:20

How incredibly difficult. Years back a child I’d looked after from 5 mths old made a disclosure regarding an incident at his school nursery. The police & social
services became involved. Because there was no evidence & the child was too young to be specific enough, he was essentially disbelieved. I knew that child inside out & witnessed his behaviour change. There were clear red flags - he referred to ‘secrets’ that would result in someone dying if he told. But even so a threshold wasn’t met. His parents removed him from the nursery.

A decade on, my two-year-old told me yesterday about being ‘crushed’ and hurt by another child. I only knew this wasn’t true because he went on to describe how I cuddled him afterwards because he was hurt & sore.

The fact that children are ‘unreliable witnesses’ for all kinds of reasons is precisely what makes them so vulnerable to abuse. How do you sift through what a child says to determine what is true, what is imagined/dreamed and what may be a confused mixture of truth & fiction? It’s a minefield.

Matronic6 · 12/09/2023 22:22

I had a very similar incident when I was a reception teacher. A child went home and said my TA had hit him and shoved sand in his face. Instead of discussing this with the school, parents immediately tried to escalate it to borough safeguard. Refused to even engage with school as her child 'would never lie.' Whole thing was completely unfounded as staff member was off due to a family bereavement. And it couldn't have been before absence as the sandpit hadn't been installed yet.
Parent was talked down and decided to return to school as long as in other class, didn't want him near staff member. Although the peace didn't last for long as not even 2 weeks went by when he disclosed his mum has whipped him with a belt and forced him to eat by shoving food in his mouth and holding her hand over it. She was quick to point out his active imagination then.

adriftinadenofvipers · 12/09/2023 22:22

susan123graeme · 12/09/2023 21:00

Very young children never lie - listen to your child - this sounds serious

Have you ever met any very young children?

adriftinadenofvipers · 12/09/2023 22:35

@MalvernHillbilly as you said, "years back".

I think the professionals nowadays are more 'clued in'.

It is extremely difficult. Nobody wants an abused child to be overlooked, but on the other hand, nobody wants an innocent adult to have their life ruined due to untrue allegations.

This is why it is so vital to FIND OUT what actually happened by asking the questions - not rush from 0-90!

Swipe left for the next trending thread