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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

How often is reasonable to call nursery when baby starts?

90 replies

cashmoneyy · 31/08/2021 14:47

11 month old is starting nursery soon and nursery have said I can call as much as I want to check he is ok. I'm super nervous about it all as he's quite clingy. I just wondered how often parents tend to call as I don't want to be that parent calling 5x as much as everyone else? Settling in sessions are not great either as I will be with him for 15 mins during first session in a separate room then have to leave. After that I won't be present for anymore sessions and he will be dropped off and collected from the front door.

OP posts:

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GintyMcGinty · 31/08/2021 20:49

I called once each the first two days and then never again.

BeenAroundTheWorldAndIII · 31/08/2021 21:15

I called during the settling in session (an hour into a two hour session), and once in the second visit which was a half day.
Nothing terrible reported but they did mention the initial settling period following me leaving where she had cried for a few minutes.
I decided not to call again because actually what was the benefit? I had no choice but to go back to work so even if they said she had been unsettled what could I possibly do about it? She needed to get used to it (the transition wasn't nearly as stressful it as difficult as I predicted - she was very clingy to me and BF regularly and to sleep but got on surprisingly well). They do settle in so quickly, but it's natural to worry

Skyla2005 · 31/08/2021 21:37

They will call if there's a problem. What would you do if they say not stopped crying !

Lockdownbear · 31/08/2021 21:53

I think sometimes it's just good to get that reassurance that your LO is happy.
We all know sometimes morning tears are just for show, once mum is out the way and interesting stuffs happening, they settle and are fine.

But yes nursery will phone if there is an issue.

Namechange13101 · 01/09/2021 06:57

I didn’t call at all, but on DD first full day after settling sessions they called me at 3 to see if I could pick her up early as she hadn’t napped and she was getting a bit tearful, which I thought was great and the next day she stayed all day and napped really well. This meant she didn’t get really upset as she does when she doesn’t nap. So I’d say that they will call you if there are any problems

OverByYer · 01/09/2021 06:59

Never! I’d rather the staff were looking after my child than answering the phone to anxious parents

IWasBornInAThunderstorm · 01/09/2021 07:08

I called every day for the 1st week, they encouraged me to phone whenever, especially as I had very minimal settling in due to covid. I asked when lunch was and asked them when they were least busy but they just said to phone whenever. So I avoided lunchtime and about 30 mins after.

If LO has been ill I might phone the next day to just check how they are.

ninaibs · 01/09/2021 07:13

@Shapesorted

I'm a childminder and tend to message after about an hour (sooner if they were installed at drop off) on the first day. After that parents are welcome to message me but I do complete tapestry diaries so parents can read and see what little one is up to.

I have had a child here for 2.5 years and mum still messages mid morning every day, that's a bit much!

One message a day about their small child? Wouldn't say that's excessive.

MistyFrequencies · 01/09/2021 07:17

I never called nursery. I trusted they would call me if there was an issue. I just think you're interrupting the care of your own and other people's children for no real good reason.

WaitingForNormality · 01/09/2021 07:17

Never!
IME all settings say to parents that they can call to check etc but in reality the setting would always call you if there was a problem. The first days are tough with settling in, but it needs to be overcome. If the child is really upset (beyond the normal) they'll call you.

IWasBornInAThunderstorm · 01/09/2021 07:18

Also depends if they have one of those apps that they spend all day updating or if they just get on with it and tell you a brief summary at the end.

Parker231 · 01/09/2021 07:22

DT’s started full time nursery when they were six months old. I didn’t call nursery as they said they would if there were any problems.

ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 01/09/2021 07:29

On day 1, they called after an hour, I called at midday, and then again mid afternoon. It didn't take anyone away from caring for the children - the manager in the office took the calls, and went to see him and describe how he was.

Don't worry about calling. You're paying them, and trusting them, and they've told you to call. They will be used to mum's like us, especially with 2020 babies who have lived through the last year of isolation. Of course we're nervous.

waitingpatientlyforspring · 01/09/2021 07:40

I never called. Child was in nursery because I was working so making calls wasn't an option. I knew nursery would call if there was a problem so that had to be enough. To be honest, work was so busy that I didn't have much time to dwell on baby.

LooseyGoosey · 02/09/2021 11:14

I think I called most days in the first week, around the middle of the day, and I'd still call now if drop off was tricky, which it generally isn't anymore, just to check he's settled down ok. I don't think it's about whether or not you trust them, it's just a relationship and shared responsibility for your child whilst they're looking after them. I'm sure I was a bit over-anxious, but our nursery has always been great about it!

whatswithtodaytoday · 02/09/2021 11:18

I called late morning (before the lunch mayhem started and also before naps) for the first week or two, and same again after he went back post-lockdown. I liked the reassurance, and if they say they're happy to and you want to check in, why not?

They didn't have an app at the time so I had no way of getting any information until pick-up.

Tumbleweed101 · 03/09/2021 07:16

We expect calls to come in for new settling children. We tend to get the calls mid morning or after lunch but are always happy to get them if it reassures the parent.

The tend to stop once it’s clear the child is happy and the parents feel more confident with us and trust we will call them if needed.

Parker231 · 03/09/2021 07:26

What would people do if the nursery had said their child was unsettled? You can’t just leave work in the middle of a working day to go and see them. For me I was better not knowing and leave it the nursery

Teeheehee1579 · 03/09/2021 07:37

@Namechange13101

Crikey this would have made me cross - appreciate it’s no problem for many people to pop over but I would have been at work unable to leave but with the knowledge they could not settle my crotchety child and I would absolutely expect an experienced nursery to be able to deal with over tired cranky kids without the need to call. Unless you had asked them to of course!

SpicyJalfrezi · 03/09/2021 07:39

I’ve been calling twice a day they don’t seem to mind, although they probably say ‘ffs, her again!’ when I’ve put the phone down!

20viona · 03/09/2021 07:48

Just once on the first day is enough.

DucksFlyTogether · 03/09/2021 07:52

I feel neglectful after reading this. DS was 16 weeks old when he went to full time nursery. Financial pressures forced me back to work.

I never called once 😳

His key worker in the baby room though I knew personally and I knew he would be fine with her. DS was spoilt for cuddles and snuggling as he was the tiniest baby they had ever had. He was passed round like a doll bless him and they would let him sleep in their arms. Not that I was bothered about it as they are only tiny once and I'd rather them make him feel secure at such a small age than leave him in the cot on his own. DS stayed at that nursery till he was 3 he loved it there.

00100001 · 03/09/2021 07:55

@SpicyJalfrezi

I’ve been calling twice a day

they don’t seem to mind, although they probably say ‘ffs, her again!’ when I’ve put the phone down!

What do you even ask about twice a day?

MissCruellaDeVil · 03/09/2021 07:56

I never call, I trust the nursery to look after him while I'm busy at work, if it's an emergency, they call me.

SpicyJalfrezi · 03/09/2021 07:57

Just that he’s all right. He only started this week. It’s a big change.

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