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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

How often is reasonable to call nursery when baby starts?

90 replies

cashmoneyy · 31/08/2021 14:47

11 month old is starting nursery soon and nursery have said I can call as much as I want to check he is ok. I'm super nervous about it all as he's quite clingy. I just wondered how often parents tend to call as I don't want to be that parent calling 5x as much as everyone else? Settling in sessions are not great either as I will be with him for 15 mins during first session in a separate room then have to leave. After that I won't be present for anymore sessions and he will be dropped off and collected from the front door.

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Hellocatshome · 31/08/2021 15:29

I never called but if he was upset at drop off they would call me (usually while I was still driving to work) to tell me he had settled.

welshweasel · 31/08/2021 15:30

I’ve never called. If they were occasionally upset on drop off then the nursery would text me with a picture an hour or so later, which was nice.

BoredZelda · 31/08/2021 15:30

I called when I felt like it. In the first week that was every other day. After that I called if she’d had an unsettled drop off (which was quite a lot!) Or if she had been particularly tired. Sometimes I found it hard just to focus on work.

If it helps you, call them. They will be fine with it. The feelings of worry will pass.

BoredZelda · 31/08/2021 15:32

Also think about what you will do if they say she's unhappy?

They won’t. 😆

I just (a little) but on the few occasions DD just hadn’t settled, I had the option of picking her up - I could schedule my own workload and had an understanding boss!

TheWoleb · 31/08/2021 15:34

I never called. I didnt realise that this was a thing.
The nursery will call you if there is a problem. What's the point in calling them?

gogohm · 31/08/2021 15:35

On the first day at lunch time after that it's really reasonable to call unless there's something you need to discuss

CrimeJunkie01 · 31/08/2021 15:38

In the 10 years my children were at nursery I think I might have called 3 times. They called me if there was an issue..... Although that sad vety rare.

Derbee · 31/08/2021 15:51

@cashmoneyy

Thanks for all the replies. With the way they phrased it I thought calling to check up was the norm but I guess not as many of you never have. Maybe I'll call once on the first day should be cry when dropped off and leave them to contact me thereafter

This sounds sensible. Good luck with it all

Thefaceofboe · 31/08/2021 15:58

I would phone once after a few hours and then ask them to call you for an update later on, or if baby is really upset etc. I work in a nursery though and there’s no right or wrong, we understand!

Lockdownbear · 31/08/2021 16:03

@cashmoneyy

Welcoming calls is definitely a sign of a good nursery. Mine were always fine with it but I didn't do it very often or out of habit. Do it when you feel the need. If they've been unsettled or maybe even got a cold that's not bad enough to be off but your still concerned.

As others have said I'd rather the staff were looking after the little people rather than answering calls.
But it can be really reassuring to hear they settled after you left, or they ate lunch after refusing breakfast for some daft reason that they can't tell you.
(Then when they get older and won't eat because you can't find the right coloured spoon)

peachykeenjellybaby · 31/08/2021 16:05

I called at lunch time on day 1

That was it

Baby was fine. Settled instantly.

Didnt feel the need to keep checking after that

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 31/08/2021 16:14

I can imagine everyone choosing to ring at lunch time is a complete pain. Maybe find out when the nursery’s lunch time is and avoid calling in that slot. I can imagine they will be really busy particularly trying to feed all the babies. If they are on their own lunch break, speaking to a parent isn’t what they should be doing unless it’s necessary.

BoredZelda · 31/08/2021 16:55

I work in a nursery though and there’s no right or wrong, we understand!

Which is really the only response here that matters! You all get it and are happy to help the parents if they need it.

I can imagine everyone choosing to ring at lunch time is a complete pain.

Except what is clear from responses here, is that not everyone calls. Seemingly not even most parents do. Nursery staff have lunch shifts. Staff are always available.

BoredZelda · 31/08/2021 16:56

As others have said I'd rather the staff were looking after the little people rather than answering calls.

The nursery I used had office staff and carer staff. Carer staff never answered phones and office staff didn’t look after kids.

Lockdownbear · 31/08/2021 17:00

@BoredZelda

As others have said I'd rather the staff were looking after the little people rather than answering calls.

The nursery I used had office staff and carer staff. Carer staff never answered phones and office staff didn’t look after kids.

My second nursery was a big nursery so the office would answer and deal with any admin stuff but they'd put you through to the room to get the info if the kid welfare info.

Orangedaisy · 31/08/2021 17:02

I called when dd was upset at drop off. She occasionally had to be peeled off me as a red snotty screaming mess. It was seriously difficult for me leaving her. I called from the train to work straight after (maybe 20 minutes in) otherwise I would never have been able to concentrate on work. It was always fine and they understood why I called.

allofthecheese · 31/08/2021 17:19

I've called a twice in one day the first two days, now I'll probably call if he's not slept well the night before or difficult at drop off. I'd prefer to have the peace of mind that he's ok. I was encouraged by the nursery to call as much as I wanted. Do whatever feels right for you.

pecanmix · 31/08/2021 17:31

I didn't call. If she was upset going in they'd call me straight away to say don't worry she's happy now (in so many words). I only rang if I needed something practical like to let them know someone else would be picking her up or if she wasn't going in.

MindyStClaire · 31/08/2021 17:54

Ours doesn't have an app, so I texted a few times a day for the first couple of days just to make sure all was ok and that there was at least a little sleeping and eating happening. My work is very flexible so I would've picked her up early if there hadn't been. I think it's normal to want an update on how your baby is when you've left them off with strangers. Fortunately our nursery fully understand that and are welcoming of texts. I still text mid morning if I've any concerns that they were ill or something, just once in a blue moon now.

I messaged much less with DD2 (possibly not at all) partially because she's a calmer soul so I wasn't as worried about her sleep, but mainly because I'd built a relationship with the staff through DD1 so I fully trusted them in a way you just can't with people you don't know yet.

00100001 · 31/08/2021 17:55

Never.

They will ring you if there's an issue.

Zorinindustries · 31/08/2021 19:56

I work in a nursery. Do whatever is good for you.
Some parents never call, others do so oncea day for the first few days. We even had 1 mum call every single lunchtime for the whole 4 years her DC was there.

As long as you are happy to talk to the office staff who can pass on messages sometimes, and dont expect to have long conversations with the key person every time you call, it will be fine.

Desmondo2021 · 31/08/2021 20:05

It really won't seem such a big deal once DC has been a few times. Do what feels right the first day and by the end of the week I guarantee you both will have adjusted just fine.

amillionmenonmars · 31/08/2021 20:12

Never, because honestly what could I have done? My headteacher wasn't going to let me leave my class because my child was upset in nursery - and it would have taken me nearly an hour to get there anyway.

The nursery would have phoned me if there was an issue. The same applied when my children were in school. Only had the dread call once, when DD broke her arm in school! My HT of course let me leave straight away as it was an emergency. My DD was quite happily sitting in the X Ray dept with her lovely deputy head when I arrived.

Brieeeeeeeeeeee · 31/08/2021 20:18

Never called - like others have said, it wouldn’t have changed my actions (I couldn’t have gone to pick DS up or anything like that) so I didn’t really see the point. We did have a longer settling in period though; 1 hour, 2 hours, half day then full day.

Horehound · 31/08/2021 20:47

@TheWoleb

I never called. I didnt realise that this was a thing. The nursery will call you if there is a problem. What's the point in calling them?

Just for peace of mind really. I think it is a common thing. The nursery told us to call whenever we wanted and that they are happy to give a wee update on your child. Generally it's when they are settling in or in the first few weeks.

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