Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

How often is reasonable to call nursery when baby starts?

90 replies

cashmoneyy · 31/08/2021 14:47

11 month old is starting nursery soon and nursery have said I can call as much as I want to check he is ok. I'm super nervous about it all as he's quite clingy. I just wondered how often parents tend to call as I don't want to be that parent calling 5x as much as everyone else? Settling in sessions are not great either as I will be with him for 15 mins during first session in a separate room then have to leave. After that I won't be present for anymore sessions and he will be dropped off and collected from the front door.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Numbersarefun · 31/08/2021 14:49

Well, I never called, but then I was busy with work and didn’t really have a moment to think about them until the end of the day.

Fireplace12 · 31/08/2021 14:50

I trusted nursery to call me if there was an issue. I never rang them.

Horehound · 31/08/2021 14:50

I called once at mid day for the first week. After that never needed to again.
They have an app that they put what he's up to etc.
The 15 Mon with you for settling in doesn't seem very long though, although I know at the moment some people aren't getting in at all.
It's hard but babies are resilient :)

Shapesorted · 31/08/2021 14:51

I'm a childminder and tend to message after about an hour (sooner if they were installed at drop off) on the first day. After that parents are welcome to message me but I do complete tapestry diaries so parents can read and see what little one is up to.

I have had a child here for 2.5 years and mum still messages mid morning every day, that's a bit much!

girlmom21 · 31/08/2021 14:51

When my LO started nursery I'd phone at around 10 to make sure she'd settled if she'd had a rough start to the morning and maybe after lunch if the first call hadn't been a great one.

It completely depends on you as an individual though and whether it would benefit you to hear whether they've had a bad morning or whatever.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 31/08/2021 14:51

Gosh I dont think I would call at all - I just worked on the assumption that no call from them = fine, with my own DC.

Maybe do a call at the end of his first week as a catch up with staff to see if he is generally settled in

DoubleHelix79 · 31/08/2021 14:52

I never called the childminder. I told her to call me if there was a problem and of she didn't call I'd assume all was well.

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 31/08/2021 14:53

Nursery called me.the first day or 2 just to confirm dd was fine and happy as I had left her crying. After that I have never called for any children.
They will ring if they need you. (Normally head bumps/needing suncream despite 3 forms completed )
Would it help you to reiterate that you are able to receive calls etc if there is an issue?

Shapesorted · 31/08/2021 14:53

Also think about what you will do if they say she's unhappy?

Iguessyourestuckwithme · 31/08/2021 14:53

No more than once a day and then for a very quick check in and not every day forever.

I work full time in a baby unit and I'm happy to chat but you must understand that I am also trying to care for babies and if every mother called I wouldn't be able to spend time with the babies. Imagine it this way your child is unsettled and needs a bit of extra support today but I (her keyperson) is on my 5th phonecall of the day about another baby whose happy and playing.

Consider it this way everytime you call to check on your baby you're taking me away from caring for the babies. Would you be happy for me to be fielding phonecalls all day from other parents interrupting my time supporting your child.

Twixxed · 31/08/2021 14:53

My daughter struggled with settling in. If she'd been really upset at drop off then they'd call me (or if I was worried I'd call them) after an hour or so. But that would be all. I always said to them to please call me if she's unhappy and they can't turn it round, I think over time you develop that trust so you can trust them to call you if there's a problem. It's hard for them to talk much during the day anyway, if there's something you need to talk through in detail it's better to arrange a separate time to do that. Hope it all goes smoothly op.

MeadowHay · 31/08/2021 14:54

I called around lunch time every day for the first week, which was just 3 days as she only went 3 days a week. She was 9m when she started. They were reassuring so I didn't after that. My DC is now 3 and went into a new room yesterday and was very upset about it initially so I did the same again and again have been reassured and she's back in today and I haven't bothered (although she was not upset at drop off today for the first time since she's moved to that room). My nursery are always honest and open about how DD has been getting on, if she has a bad day or is struggling to settle they always tell me and don't just gloss over and pretend she's been fine all day so I trust them fully. It's normal for it to take a little while for parents to build up that trust with a nursery.

PotteringAlong · 31/08/2021 14:55

I never called with any of mine - if there was a problem they would have called me!

superram · 31/08/2021 14:55

Once, but I’m assume they’d prefer never as they are looking after children.

Tataru · 31/08/2021 15:08

I'd just ask them to call me if there were any problems. Our nursery rang on the first day to say she had stopped crying soon after drop-off and was having her snack and playing in the water table. Other than that, I've not heard from then and I haven't called them! If you trust them to look after your child, trust that they will call you if they need to, IMO.

TheRebelle · 31/08/2021 15:09

Why would you call?

Tataru · 31/08/2021 15:10

To add, if I were you, I'd call maybe an hour after drop-off or something and then not again that day. Or at lunchtime if you want to break the day up. I wouldn't want to be taking her keyworker's time away from interacting with DD and the other children several times a day. They have a hard enough job as it is!

Ostryga · 31/08/2021 15:12

Never. They’ll call you if there is an issue. They have plenty to do without having to answer calls all the time!

Lazypuppy · 31/08/2021 15:13

I never called, but i also never stayed for settling in sessions, handed her over, big smile and walked away.

Figured nursery would call me if there was a problem.

Had work to think of and loved my childfree time!

SpeakingFranglais · 31/08/2021 15:13

I never called either, what will you do if they say he has been unsettled? You will fret.

You will also be busy at work, just get excited to see his happy little face light up when you go collect him.

He will be fine, and will you x

cashmoneyy · 31/08/2021 15:23

Thanks for all the replies. With the way they phrased it I thought calling to check up was the norm but I guess not as many of you never have. Maybe I'll call once on the first day should be cry when dropped off and leave them to contact me thereafter

OP posts:
RobinPenguins · 31/08/2021 15:25

I called an hour after I dropped her off on the first full day, which was mainly because I was more upset than I’d expected to be! Since then I’ve only ever called when she seemed unsettled at drop off which is very infrequent.

jackstini · 31/08/2021 15:26

Never called, but they had nurserycam so I could have a quick look if I got a few mins spare

One if the best things my nursery ever did when they cried at drop off was tell me to walk round the car park for 2 mins then come back and look through a high window they had. Every time dc had stopped crying, were absolutely fine and I felt so much better knowing that!

JennaPenna · 31/08/2021 15:27

I called after an hour for the first two days and that was it.
There is nothing wrong with ringing if you need some reassurance their ok.

Lockdownbear · 31/08/2021 15:29

If they were unsettled when I dropped them off I'd maybe call mid morning but it was a rare thing for me to do.