How often is reasonable to call nursery when baby starts?

[cashmoneyy]

11 month old is starting nursery soon and nursery have said I can call as much as I want to check he is ok. I'm super nervous about it all as he's quite clingy. I just wondered how often parents tend to call as I don't want to be that parent calling 5x as much as everyone else? Settling in sessions are not great either as I will be with him for 15 mins during first session in a separate room then have to leave. After that I won't be present for anymore sessions and he will be dropped off and collected from the front door.

When my eldest started 6 years ago I think I had read a similar thread to this and didn't call. I think I probably should have done for a day or two to put my mind at ease. My youngest has just left nursery and I rang a couple of times over the year when he was particularly sad on drop off.

Nursery were always happy to accept calls.

DD started nursery at 9/10 months, I wasn’t allowed in for settling in sessions, I still to this day (DD 20 months now) haven’t seen inside the nursery. DD cried a bit on drop offs for the first few weeks but she’s spent every waking minute with me as was born then covid took over so she didn’t really see anyone else it was all a bit new to her.

I never called though, I don’t see the point. If anything wasn’t right they’d be the first to call me so I just left them to it.

If I was to call I’d probably call at lunch time, and maybe before the end of the day maybe on her first and second days there.. but again I don’t really know why or what I’d ask other than “is she ok? Thanks bye”

On the other end of the stick if I was a nursery worker looking after someone’s child and got 5 calls a day asking if she’s ok I’d feel a bit like the parent can’t trust me and my qualifications and would become a bit insulted after a while - that’s only my opinion though.

Call, if you need to call. But I wouldn’t be scheduling calls into your day to see how she is - just go with it.

I never phoned. I trusted them to do their job and me phoning every five minutes would prevent them from looking after my DC.

I rarely called but in the first few days or the very rare occasion he was upset at drop off, they called me to reassure all was ok and he was already playing and happy.
On the other hand, they call me if there is any reasons for concern. And that happens incredibly often at my nursery! Sometimes they have to (by policy), like if there is a minor accident. But often they call to tell me he's more cuddly than usual, he's a bit red in the face after having eaten a certain food, his eczema is flaring up...plus all the times he's actually ill with a temperature or something else more substantial than just being cuddly.
Basically I think I hear from them daily, on average!
Oh and there is a system where they load lots of pictures every day, plus reports on food/nappies/naps, plus his development milestones etc

@SpicyJalfrezi

Just that he’s all right. He only started this week. It’s a big change.

But, what do you expect them to have to say twice a day?

They'd be ringing you if there were any concerns, surely?

No news is good news!

@Teeheehee1579 I appreciate it might have been a problem for some but nursery were aware that I was still on maternity leave as started Dd 4 weeks before I went back to work to give her plenty of time to settle and so I’d didn’t feel stressed about leaving her and being unable to go get her if there was a problem. Worked perfectly for us and will definitely be doing the same with DS in January before I go back to work in Feb 🙂

I called an hour or so after drop off the first few days (which they encouraged) then when it was clear she was settling well I left them to it and trusted them to call me. DD has been there 18 months now (lockdown aside) and I've done the same thing a handful of times since - e.g. she'd had a bad night at home so I called mid afternoon to check she'd napped ok and wasn't shattered and therefore would benefit from an early pick up.

A good nursery won't mind you ringing occasionally to check in. They are used to people being nervous leaving their kids, especially when they are unsettled. However it won't actually be good for your sanity to be checking in with them loads, you'll just worry more between calls.

I just want to know how he is, @00100001

I have never understood the proud of how hands off I am club on here.

I have just called, they let me know he’s happy and not distressed, he’s napped and he’s eaten.

Then I carry on with my day.

I don't call. Well I did once when my middle son went through a phase of kicking off at drop off and it was a particularly bad morning. They said he was fine and the next morning they had me wait round the corner for 10 mins then peep in the classroom to see him happy and settled. My youngest kicked off this morning and I trusted them when she told me to just leave quickly and they'll deal with her. I assume she's fine as no one has called me to say she's still kicking off.

@SpicyJalfrezi

I just want to know how he is, *@00100001*

I have never understood the proud of how hands off I am club on here.

I have just called, they let me know he’s happy and not distressed, he’s napped and he’s eaten.

Then I carry on with my day.

I'm just imagining the staff fielding up to 60+ calls a day potentially, just to find out how wee Johnny is.. he's fine unless they tell you, surely??

It's nothing about being "hands off proud" - just genuinely interested as to what you get out being told something you already know.

And, for example, what are you going to do with the information like "he hasn't napped, or he ate all of his lunch" at 2pm, when you would be told that same info at handover at 5pm?

I'm not saying you're wrong, just wondering what the point is.

I really don't see an issue in calling when a baby first starts or if they were upset at drop off. Our nursery had the manager or deputy in the office who would answer so not taking a nursery nurse off the floor. I can count on one hands the times I did call but it was nice just knowing I could and they welcomed it.

On one particular day when he was awful at drop off the manager emailed me some pictures of him smiling to put my mind at rest.

I don’t think it the proud “hands off” approach but there is nothing I can do about it so I’d rather not know and worry about it. If it was a significant issue the staff would ring DH or I or let one of us know at collection time.

@SpicyJalfrezi

I just want to know how he is, *@00100001*

I have never understood the proud of how hands off I am club on here.

I have just called, they let me know he’s happy and not distressed, he’s napped and he’s eaten.

Then I carry on with my day.

Perfectly understandable in the first week. Maybe try cut it to once a day next week and then leave it after that if you can, just for your own sanity.

These days we barely stop the car as we dump two children on the doorstep, but in the first week when you don't know the staff it's normal to want the reassurance.

It's not about being proudly hands off it's about being practical, and recognising the amount of staff time that would be taken up if every parent phoned daily or multiple times per day.

Only phoning occasionally also means staff will be that wee bit more helpful on the days when you've had a tough drop off or child recovering from a illness and you need that bit of reassurance that LO is OK.

I do understand the first week is tough going and even more tough when you've not had decent settling in time because of covid.

I’ve never called. Nursery have never contacted me either, but playgroup do send a me a text after an hour to let me know how she settled.